"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Do I next her?

PackDaddy

Don Juan
Joined
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Wednesday night I made a plan with this girl for today. I texted her close to 11am this morning saying to text me when she wakes up. She texted back saying "Hey I'm up but I'm in sb remember!? Ill text you when I'm back in la" so I replid with "K." Then I thought about that. I don't like the idea of being left on the hook when I have things I could be doing. So then I texted "Do you know approximately what time you will be back? I need to start planning my day." This was 12:30pm. Haven't gotten a response back yet. The thing is this girl texted me back really fast the first week I was talking to her. I already had this problem with her too, where she says she wants to get together and then says she'll text me.

I think I need to call her bluff and move on now. What do you guys think. I'm predicting I get blown off today, so I don't even get a lay out of it. Would you guys end communication? Can't stand when my time is disrespected.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mr Wright

Master Don Juan
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London, UK
Whilst I believe that time is valuable etc, I also think that some guys take that too far and they end up cutting off their own nose to spite their face.

In this case, if shes elsewhere etc then give her the space to come back and do whatever. I know for myself that when I'm outta town and I come back, the last thing I want to do is go and see someone because Im not in the right frame of mind. If you wait a day or two, she'll be bored and it'll be easier to get her out. Shes a girl, she wont text you when shes back because thats a massive show of interest from her.
 

JoeMarron

Master Don Juan
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Nov 25, 2012
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Yeah this is silly. Chill out and when she's ready to hit you up she'll do so.
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
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Couple of things:

1. You made plans way too far in advance. Wednesday to Sunday is a long long time. Make plans for 1-2 days in advance not longer. Girls flake enough as is. Forcing a commitment for so far in the future isn't helping a guy's cause.

2. The choice to sit on your hands while she gets back to you is your choice alone. She said she was out of town in Santa Barbara and would text you when she was back in L.A. OK. Cool. Move on. Do something else. If she hits you up, great if not at least you didn't waste the day waiting for her to respond. I appreciate the "my time is valuable" frame to some extent but "Do you know approximately what time you'll be getting back?" is NOT communicating that. In fact, it's communicating the opposite.
 

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
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Brooklyn, NY
If she's out of town let her be. Don't make plans until she gets back. Even better make OTHER plans with different chicks in the meantime.

One of the girls Im seeing went to Cabo. I just told her to have fun. She texted me the minute she landed back in NY. Was she banging another guy in Mexico? I could care less, but I know the first thing she thought of back in NY was me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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