"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Do I next her?

PackDaddy

Don Juan
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Los Angeles
Wednesday night I made a plan with this girl for today. I texted her close to 11am this morning saying to text me when she wakes up. She texted back saying "Hey I'm up but I'm in sb remember!? Ill text you when I'm back in la" so I replid with "K." Then I thought about that. I don't like the idea of being left on the hook when I have things I could be doing. So then I texted "Do you know approximately what time you will be back? I need to start planning my day." This was 12:30pm. Haven't gotten a response back yet. The thing is this girl texted me back really fast the first week I was talking to her. I already had this problem with her too, where she says she wants to get together and then says she'll text me.

I think I need to call her bluff and move on now. What do you guys think. I'm predicting I get blown off today, so I don't even get a lay out of it. Would you guys end communication? Can't stand when my time is disrespected.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Mr Wright

Master Don Juan
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Jan 19, 2010
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London, UK
Whilst I believe that time is valuable etc, I also think that some guys take that too far and they end up cutting off their own nose to spite their face.

In this case, if shes elsewhere etc then give her the space to come back and do whatever. I know for myself that when I'm outta town and I come back, the last thing I want to do is go and see someone because Im not in the right frame of mind. If you wait a day or two, she'll be bored and it'll be easier to get her out. Shes a girl, she wont text you when shes back because thats a massive show of interest from her.
 

JoeMarron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
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35
Yeah this is silly. Chill out and when she's ready to hit you up she'll do so.
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
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Couple of things:

1. You made plans way too far in advance. Wednesday to Sunday is a long long time. Make plans for 1-2 days in advance not longer. Girls flake enough as is. Forcing a commitment for so far in the future isn't helping a guy's cause.

2. The choice to sit on your hands while she gets back to you is your choice alone. She said she was out of town in Santa Barbara and would text you when she was back in L.A. OK. Cool. Move on. Do something else. If she hits you up, great if not at least you didn't waste the day waiting for her to respond. I appreciate the "my time is valuable" frame to some extent but "Do you know approximately what time you'll be getting back?" is NOT communicating that. In fact, it's communicating the opposite.
 

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
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Location
Brooklyn, NY
If she's out of town let her be. Don't make plans until she gets back. Even better make OTHER plans with different chicks in the meantime.

One of the girls Im seeing went to Cabo. I just told her to have fun. She texted me the minute she landed back in NY. Was she banging another guy in Mexico? I could care less, but I know the first thing she thought of back in NY was me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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