Do I have to financially support my wife?

[SgtSplacker]

Been married 5 months, my wife is 15 years younger than I am. She used to do on-call work and has not been working for some time now. She is constantly asking me to spend money on just about anything she can think of. Iv'e given her $650 over the last 5 days. It's not always so bad but it's really getting to my nerves, she's not exactly doing well in other areas of wife hood either.

Is it expected for me to just completely support my wife in anything she wants? Is she really entitled to half my income?

 

[RickTheToad]

Been married 5 months, my wife is 15 years younger than I am. She used to do on-call work and has not been working for some time now. She is constantly asking me to spend money on just about anything she can think of. Iv'e given her $650 over the last 5 days. It's not always so bad but it's really getting to my nerves, she's not exactly doing well in other areas of wife hood either.

Is it expected for me to just completely support my wife in anything she wants? Is she really entitled to half my income?

I guess you never heard of the new invention called "NO". Honey, can I get this? NO. Honey, we need a new car. NO. She's leading you, you are not leading her. Thus, she' becoming lazy. Pull back, and get her in line. Tell her, if you want something, get a job and pay for it. Unless, of course, if it's a necessity for your kids (if you have any).

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Been married 5 months, my wife is 15 years younger than I am. She used to do on-call work and has not been working for some time now. She is constantly asking me to spend money on just about anything she can think of. Iv'e given her $650 over the last 5 days. It's not always so bad but it's really getting to my nerves, she's not exactly doing well in other areas of wife hood either.

Is it expected for me to just completely support my wife in anything she wants? Is she really entitled to half my income?

Also, be aware that if you let your wife go for some length of time without working and you are providing all the support, you are setting yourself up to be alimony azz raped if you ever get divorced.

-Augustus-

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Been married 5 months, my wife is 15 years younger than I am. She used to do on-call work and has not been working for some time now. She is constantly asking me to spend money on just about anything she can think of. Iv'e given her $650 over the last 5 days. It's not always so bad but it's really getting to my nerves, she's not exactly doing well in other areas of wife hood either.

Is it expected for me to just completely support my wife in anything she wants? Is she really entitled to half my income?

In addition, if she’s already acting like this only five months into the marriage, you need to ask yourself if you should’ve married this girl to begin with. And if the answer you come up with is no, consider ending the marriage now rather than letting it go on, putting yourself at more risk for anguish and potential financial loss.

-Augustus-

 

[lamath]

It is a slippery road, in time she will be asking for more and more. Stop the bleeding now.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why isn’t she working herself?

Is that your desire or hers (that she not work), or both, and in what way is she supporting the marriage outside of financial support?

My father required that my mother stayed at home. He required my step mother to stay home too. To raise kids, support his law practice & look after him & the home & social calendar.

A good wife can stay plenty occupied in that role.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Also, be aware that if you let your wife go for some length of time without working and you are providing all the support, you are setting yourself up to be alimony azz raped if you ever get divorced.

-Augustus-

Also your enabling a "taker" dynamic in herself. While shes out of work she should be using more time on you and your family. Cooking, running errands, cleaning, etc. She should also be doing a job search during the day. I hope your not giving your hard earn money tk a lady who lays around all day and doesnt help out.

She also shouldnt be asking for money outside the family budget.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Why isn’t she working herself?

Is that your desire or hers (that she not work), or both, and in what way is she supporting the marriage outside of financial support?

My father required that my mother stayed at home. He required my step mother to stay home too. To raise kids, support his law practice & look after him & the home & social calendar.

A good wife can stay plenty occupied in that role.

She was having problems at work and I would not directly tell her she should quit because i wanted her to stay working, but I would tell her what she was dealing with was BS and kinda advise her to stand up for herself. After they stopped calling her in as much she did act like I told her not to work when I was pretty careful not to. She really does very little partly because her dog just died and she was very close to it. She pays no bills, she has no chores and generally keeps things rather sloppy. She's been looking for work but has not really started working anywhere despite seeming to be hired by at least one place. Shes a bartender so her work is kinda flighty, it's not really scheduled like regular work is, it's on-call work too.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Thanks for the replies guys, I was kinda on the fence on this one I really couldn't tell if being generous with her was a virtue or foolishness. I guess what really cements the decision is that once when she could have helped me with money she offered me a loan when I have always given her money free and clear. And shes a person that likes to sue people and has multiple lawsuits active right now, even sues friends. I'm getting out of this as quickly as I can this feels like a setup! she is enrolling in school right now so i'm sure that will hinder her ability to work also. I feel so paranoid thinking this way yet so naive second guessing myself.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Thanks for the replies guys, I was kinda on the fence on this one I really couldn't tell if being generous with her was a virtue or foolishness. I guess what really cements the decision is that once when she could have helped me with money she offered me a loan when I have always given her money free and clear. And shes a person that likes to sue people and has multiple lawsuits active right now, even sues friends. I'm getting out of this as quickly as I can this feels like a setup! she is enrolling in school right now so i'm sure that will hinder her ability to work also. I feel so paranoid thinking this way yet so naive second guessing myself.

Run Forrest run!

-Augustus-

 

[sazc]

When you were discussing getting married, andtalking about the rest of your lives together, what were your short-term and long-term goals?

Did you talk about saving money? Buying a home? Retirement accounts? What age you're going to retire? Vacationing? Who's going to pay for what?if you're both going to work until you have kids? Are you going to have kids? When would you have kids? Do you want to buy a house? How long until you want to buy a house? How clean you both like the house to be? Who is going to clean the house? Etc etc etc

Both of you should be honoring the discussions you had prior to getting married.

if you didn't have these conversations then you need to have them now, immediately. Express your discomfort with all the things that make you feel I'll at ease. See how she reacts. Or get out before you get in too deep.

 

[Epic Days]

Is it expected for me to just completely support my wife in anything she wants? Is she really entitled to half my income?

Yes. The only purpose for a husband is Resources.
But I understand the dynamic.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Shes beyond a loaded gun. Shes a trap.

 

[Epic Days]

Shes beyond a loaded gun. Shes a trap.

But I would bet she would work with him if he started leading.

 

[AttackFormation]

This would've been called out as a troll thread by me if it wasn't for you both having been here since 2011 and now at least saying you will get out of this situation as quickly as possible. She sounds mentally pathological from your further description of her. Unbelievable that you got yourself into this having been here for so long, but on the other hand I got worked over the worst I ever have with a woman around new year's eve 2016-2017 after almost 3 years of having been on here and likewise chose to ignore the subtle red flags I already saw, so I can understand.

Divorce and leave/kick her out ASAP and make sure she doesn't trap you with a baby or that you'll get ripped apart too much in whatever lawsuit you have a good precedent to believe she might try to file against you.

 

[SgtSplacker]

But I would bet she would work with him if he started leading.

I think she would too. But theirs one rule i'm not willing to turn my back on and that's the Golden Rule. I just don't see she gives it any respect at all in many areas of her life. And being close to a person like that is just a never ending life of suck. It's the only rule I enforce in a relationship. It makes things simple. Decisions are easily made. Life flows in harmony easily. As long as you follow the golden rule conflict is a rarity. Particularly in opposite sex friendships, the golden rule is a must. To me it's the only way to live an honest life is if you live following the golden rule.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think she would too. But theirs one rule i'm not willing to turn my back on and that's the Golden Rule. I just don't see she gives it any respect at all in many areas of her life. And being close to a person like that is just a never ending life of suck. It's the only rule I enforce in a relationship. It makes things simple. Decisions are easily made. Life flows in harmony easily. As long as you follow the golden rule conflict is a rarity. Particularly in opposite sex friendships, the golden rule is a must. To me it's the only way to live an honest life is if you live following the golden rule.

Cosigned for the "golden rule". It keeps its purveyers "golden".

 

[Epic Days]

I think she would too. But theirs one rule i'm not willing to turn my back on and that's the Golden Rule. I just don't see she gives it any respect at all in many areas of her life. And being close to a person like that is just a never ending life of suck. It's the only rule I enforce in a relationship. It makes things simple. Decisions are easily made. Life flows in harmony easily. As long as you follow the golden rule conflict is a rarity. Particularly in opposite sex friendships, the golden rule is a must. To me it's the only way to live an honest life is if you live following the golden rule.

This is the most important lesson right here. Women do not conform to moral codes unless they gain from them. No amount of religion will ever fix this. These are impulsive drives based on solipsism. Do you know what solipsism is?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

For women, their Golden Rule is "Do unto others whatever benefits yourself."

The right women for you and to you will believe that YOU benefit themselves. They want to attain you and want to keep you.

 

[Epic Days]

That's right. That's why you need to lead them from the beginning and show them that through you, they can attain empowerment. You create the reality that they want to live in. My reality is based on internal validation so I never have money problems with women, ever. For as long as I can remember.

As part of my "molding" and dog training process, I reward women for their unique qualities. Like being fun, spontaneous, adventurous, etc This brings it more out of them. So when they are around me, they know exactly how to act.

In a way, women are a reflection of my own imagination.

I don't know how to game women. I just know how to train them like a pet.

The truth is, you are always molding your woman whether you are conscious of it or not. It's just that most guys mold women to become spoiled and entitled.

That's why when your girl acts out in a bar, the dominant men say "Who's b1tch is this?!?!" I want to fight HIM!"

You are responsible for your own b1tch. When you know how much power you have, you can no longer place the blame on anyone but yourself for your inability to mold your women according to your vision.

Hahaha

Oh so true. “Who’s b!tch is this?!?!” Priceless.