Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
So what could I be doing wrong?Nutz said:Yes.
If you're not getting eye ****ed regularly there's probably something wrong with your walk or overall body language.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
My cousin would tell a girl who wasn't looking at him that she dropped her smile and he would point at the ground and repeat himself until she got the joke. Pretty funny. Anyway you have to try to get their attention someway. Probably best to do when you feeling a hilarious mood. Always play the game like it's a big joke a first. There's always time for seriousness later.:crackup:So what could I be doing wrong?
You probably pissed of the masses (the unattractive ones), but i agree.Crazy Asian said:ur not attractive enough.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
whenever i hear a comment like that i can't help but think of Jay-Z and Beyonce.oakraiderz2 said:You probably pissed of the masses (the unattractive ones), but i agree.
i get EC alot. That reminds me, Theres this chick at work, shes probably 28 or something, shes a HB7 but theres something about her that i find so sexy! anyway, i catch her checking me out alot lol when i walk by her desk, sometimes she definitly gives me the OBVIOUS eye contact. In general, I get EC with smiles, and sometimes a "Hi"...... Damn, now that i really think about it....... i get a sh!t load of EC from females........ I just dont act on it i guess. have my mind on other things.lazikia said:They rarely do with me.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could've written this same thing verbatim. I think I'm probably somewhere in the average range attractive-wise. The women that are attracted to me range from ugly to moderately cute. It's a rare day when anything above a 7 looks my way. I wish I could change that. The thing is for guys, personality and status counts a lot more with women than the other way around. A woman who is good looking can fall in love with a guy that's not so great looking if he's got game and status, like someone pointed out in the Jay-Z example above. But rarely do you see a man falling for an ugly woman because of her status or wealth.Warrior74 said:I don't get hot chics staring, but I do get ugly girls gawking and then trying to play it off like they weren't. I get fat girls who will openly tell me how good I look. Fatties and uglies have nothing to loose. They look because they don't think they can have you anyway. You know...they way you oggle fine women that you're not gonna speak to.
This used to be a big hit on my self esteem...I'd wonder, was I ugly? Is that why these ugly chics would look at me? For the longest I thought that was the case.
Later I came to realise that I'm middle of the road attractive. I'm not a pretty boy, I'm not some uber rugged manly looking dood, I'm not fat (anymore). I don't have any hidieous defects. I dress nice, I stay groomed. I look like a decent catch. I'm a 7.9 on hot or not from back in the day but I look better now and better in person. They stare because they see a good thing, but they know they can never have it. OP, how do you react when you see these girl looking at you?
Why whats wrong are you sick, or handicapped etc? just wonderingKennethJones said:I don't get eye contact because people do not usually see me. I consider myself to be invisible.
When people do stare at me its usually a look of disgust or concern.
Definitely true, no matter how much everyone else says that looks don't matter. They DO. Especially for body language and non verbal communication. Being good looking is important, so is body language etc. but they compliment each other, you can have one without the other but they work so extremely well together. Its almost like magic.Crazy Asian said:ur not attractive enough.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.