"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DJ terms

Anaconda

Don Juan
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I'm new to these forums and have encountered some abbreviations I didn't understand. Could someone please let me know the meaning of these terms?

AMFC
AFC
BBW
FB
HB5
LJBF
LTR
ONS
PU

Any other I missed? Thanks DJs ;).
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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FlyGuy

Master Don Juan
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Aren't they in the DJ bible?

AFC = average frustrated chump
FB = fvck buddy
HB5 = hot babe, 5 out of 10 in looks
LJBF = lets just be friends
LTR = long term relationship
ONS = one night stand
PU = pick up

not sure about the others
 
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