"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
DJ Boot Camp - Week #1
- Thread starter Master of the Universe
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Very nice post,but i have a little problem.
I live in Brooklyn,NY.If you look into someones eyes(males) for too long here they will 1)think you're a f@g 2)come up and start beef.I do it all the time with girls,but not with guys,cause i can still feel a bump on my head from my last fight.
Any thoughts?
I live in Brooklyn,NY.If you look into someones eyes(males) for too long here they will 1)think you're a f@g 2)come up and start beef.I do it all the time with girls,but not with guys,cause i can still feel a bump on my head from my last fight.
Any thoughts?
You are in general right about the guy thing. I think it's cool to say hey what's up but don't stare them down the whole way (for instance lock eyes with a dude as he comes down a hallway, like you would with a guy).
I got pissed today cuz some dude was staring at me in the library. I mean I doubt he was gay, but there is something about it that just pisses you off. Like it's a power struggle or something. **** you dude!
I got pissed today cuz some dude was staring at me in the library. I mean I doubt he was gay, but there is something about it that just pisses you off. Like it's a power struggle or something. **** you dude!
Nicholas Hill
Master Don Juan
35...
Nicholas Hill
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
pilot0001
Senior Don Juan
This is my first time going through camp. Didn't have much chance to get out today except at work with the visitors.
I thought that tip about holding your eye contact for 1 second longer then they hold theirs to show confidence was something nice to keep in mind.
I thought that tip about holding your eye contact for 1 second longer then they hold theirs to show confidence was something nice to keep in mind.
I'm at college, and there are thousands of people so I shouldn't have any trouble doing this.
I'm going to try with only really attractive girls. That's the hardest thing for me to do.
Anyways, I'm glad this is being started again..
I'll post my results soon.
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You are what you make your self.
I'm going to try with only really attractive girls. That's the hardest thing for me to do.
Anyways, I'm glad this is being started again..
I'll post my results soon.
------------------
You are what you make your self.
*salutes*
Midweek report sir!
Monday: only 1 "hi" to a stranger at the mall. Feeble unheard kind of hi. Made me realize how much I had regressed, and how much I actually needed to do this again.
Tuesday: 3, 2 of them to store clerks. I realzed afterwards that if it was so easy with store clerks, there was no reason it could be so hard for other kind of people.
Wednesday morning: on the 5 minutes walk between the bus stop and my workplace... I had 2. no reply. Still probably not loud and not early enough to elicit any response, but still.. Better than monday. Will go out again today and tonight and do more.
End of midweek report!
Midweek report sir!
Monday: only 1 "hi" to a stranger at the mall. Feeble unheard kind of hi. Made me realize how much I had regressed, and how much I actually needed to do this again.
Tuesday: 3, 2 of them to store clerks. I realzed afterwards that if it was so easy with store clerks, there was no reason it could be so hard for other kind of people.
Wednesday morning: on the 5 minutes walk between the bus stop and my workplace... I had 2. no reply. Still probably not loud and not early enough to elicit any response, but still.. Better than monday. Will go out again today and tonight and do more.
End of midweek report!
During the afternoon, I went downtown and in the malls and on campus.. 21 more "hi"s!!!!
Now.. either the cold winter-like weather is making people grumpy, or the image I project isn't what it used to be.. But I didn't get many replies. Or just some rude people who immediately looked away with an annoyed expression on their face.
Even one particularly hot babe made this sound that kinda meant "oh no, stop bothering me loser".
But I had fun nonetheless
Now.. either the cold winter-like weather is making people grumpy, or the image I project isn't what it used to be.. But I didn't get many replies. Or just some rude people who immediately looked away with an annoyed expression on their face.
Even one particularly hot babe made this sound that kinda meant "oh no, stop bothering me loser".
But I had fun nonetheless
Squy
Master Don Juan
Actually I was going to write my report at the end of this week, but inspired by MystiC's midweek report, here I go:
Being a store clerk myself, I have to say that they are obligated to reply when you greet them, if not they are being rude.
I went to the mall on monday, took the train, which was late for 30 min! (and I was all busy, and dedicated only 80 min for this exercise). There I was all pissed off, calmed myself, (learned selfcontrol
) for most the time waiting there I had a conversation with a chick (a 6.5), older than me, and turned out to be foreign. Pretty cool, asked her about everything lol, and she told me all about her.
Arrived at the mall. Try the eye-contact and smiling. Results: Most of the people (I tried on all, old youg guys girls) looked away instantly the momment our eyes meet. Otherwise they seemed to be totally absorbed in their own universe. Outside, I meet a lady, looked and smiled at her, she smiled back.
Tuesday, there was a girl (too young, but is a 7) hanging outside my shop, I engaged in some bullshvt with her, I was joking around made her laugh. Didnt went to the mall today.
Wednesday, no mall today either. But I was trying to ask for this HB's (an 8) number, but she was in a hurry, I managed to acquire some info about her though. Tomorrow she'll come back, then I'll make sure she is not in the rush again, and go for the number
edited: Oh yeah, it's winter here as well, cold as h3ll, snowed all yesterday and today, it's over 3 feet deepth now! Not sure how much that affects people's mood.
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"Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds"
- Napoleon Hill
[This message has been edited by Squy (edited 11-13-2002).]
Being a store clerk myself, I have to say that they are obligated to reply when you greet them, if not they are being rude.
I went to the mall on monday, took the train, which was late for 30 min! (and I was all busy, and dedicated only 80 min for this exercise). There I was all pissed off, calmed myself, (learned selfcontrol
Arrived at the mall. Try the eye-contact and smiling. Results: Most of the people (I tried on all, old youg guys girls) looked away instantly the momment our eyes meet. Otherwise they seemed to be totally absorbed in their own universe. Outside, I meet a lady, looked and smiled at her, she smiled back.
Tuesday, there was a girl (too young, but is a 7) hanging outside my shop, I engaged in some bullshvt with her, I was joking around made her laugh. Didnt went to the mall today.
Wednesday, no mall today either. But I was trying to ask for this HB's (an 8) number, but she was in a hurry, I managed to acquire some info about her though. Tomorrow she'll come back, then I'll make sure she is not in the rush again, and go for the number
edited: Oh yeah, it's winter here as well, cold as h3ll, snowed all yesterday and today, it's over 3 feet deepth now! Not sure how much that affects people's mood.
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"Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds"
- Napoleon Hill
[This message has been edited by Squy (edited 11-13-2002).]
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
extravaganza
Don Juan
So I woke up today and decided to do the bootcamp. So I went up to our shopping centre (like a long street with alott of stores) and guess what: It was practically abandoned!!! There goes my first campday I thought. But since I had to buy some stuff I decided to go on anyway. Walked through the street and still managed to find some people to say hi to (sounds really weird when I say it like that).
It appears that people indeed try to avoid eye contact like someone else said. I tried getting eye contact with alott of people of whom maybe 2 or 3 had enough confidence to look back longer than a second.
So I ended up saying hi to 11 people on my first day of who 4 didn't say anything back.
And that's NOT counting the people who were at work in stores since they HAVE to say something back because of politeness.
I will follow through with this bootcamp since it IS something I am able to do but it just is something you normally won't do (saying hi to unknown people). It is a small step to something bigger. Good work MotU.
P.S. All the people who count the people the have to say something to at work (like when you work in a store) : quit cheating on yourself. When your at work you are in another position then when your walking on the street. When your working you are automattically placed aboce a customer so you feel more powerfull and confident even though you are probably not aware of it, when at work you do feel more powerfull then customers.
------------------
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - groucho marx
It appears that people indeed try to avoid eye contact like someone else said. I tried getting eye contact with alott of people of whom maybe 2 or 3 had enough confidence to look back longer than a second.
So I ended up saying hi to 11 people on my first day of who 4 didn't say anything back.
And that's NOT counting the people who were at work in stores since they HAVE to say something back because of politeness.
I will follow through with this bootcamp since it IS something I am able to do but it just is something you normally won't do (saying hi to unknown people). It is a small step to something bigger. Good work MotU.
P.S. All the people who count the people the have to say something to at work (like when you work in a store) : quit cheating on yourself. When your at work you are in another position then when your walking on the street. When your working you are automattically placed aboce a customer so you feel more powerfull and confident even though you are probably not aware of it, when at work you do feel more powerfull then customers.
------------------
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - groucho marx
pilot0001
Senior Don Juan
I kinda got the same problem. However I believe you should always make the best of any situation, meaning you should do what you can.
I kept this in mind during the week (bootcamp) and had a few opportunities to say hi to people at school. I found in particular, the more confident and louder I said "hi" to someone with good eye conctact, the better the responce weather it be verbal or non-verbal.
How you walk when doing this is important as well. Your on a mission. Keep your head up and chest out. Be primal. Your the grizzley bear with silver fur. The biggest ape.
extravaganza
Don Juan
Today was the last day for me to finish week 1. I still had a few to go so I thought: let's go to the big city (amsterdam) and there was one big thing I noticed. People in the city seem alott less friendly when walking through the city than they are in smaller towns (like where I live(25000 people)) of the 6 people I said hi to IN the city there was only 1 who said hi back.
At the trainstation the people were alott more comfortbale because the 4 people I said hi to there all reacted and said hi back.
Difference between the two groups: the first group of people were walking while the ones at the trainstation were waiting.
SOOOO........... People in the big city have their shields up higher then people in smaller towns. Where they would greet you back anywhere in smaller towns, people in big cities have their shields up all the time against strangers unless at certain occasions (when waiting for example).
I completed this week and will move on to week 2 but whenever I'm in the bigger cities I WILL do the "hi saying". Maybe it was in my attitude. Where a simple hi would get one back in the smaller towns, a more powerfull hi might be requiered in the big cities.
I think that a continuation of this exercise whenever I'm in the city may be usefull and will help me raise my confidence even more.
Anywho.... I may say that this week has been succesfull to me and I hope the next few weeks of bootcamp will turn out just as good or even better
------------------
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - groucho marx
At the trainstation the people were alott more comfortbale because the 4 people I said hi to there all reacted and said hi back.
Difference between the two groups: the first group of people were walking while the ones at the trainstation were waiting.
SOOOO........... People in the big city have their shields up higher then people in smaller towns. Where they would greet you back anywhere in smaller towns, people in big cities have their shields up all the time against strangers unless at certain occasions (when waiting for example).
I completed this week and will move on to week 2 but whenever I'm in the bigger cities I WILL do the "hi saying". Maybe it was in my attitude. Where a simple hi would get one back in the smaller towns, a more powerfull hi might be requiered in the big cities.
I think that a continuation of this exercise whenever I'm in the city may be usefull and will help me raise my confidence even more.
Anywho.... I may say that this week has been succesfull to me and I hope the next few weeks of bootcamp will turn out just as good or even better
------------------
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - groucho marx
Nicholas Hill
Master Don Juan
Ready for week 2 people? I know I am!
Eye contact with cute chicks lasting until they pass you give you ego boosts boyond comprehension.
I have stories ranging from that to saying hi to 100 people simultaneously. Great confidence boosters.
Nick
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The NEW DJ BIBLE
Eye contact with cute chicks lasting until they pass you give you ego boosts boyond comprehension.
I have stories ranging from that to saying hi to 100 people simultaneously. Great confidence boosters.
Nick
------------------
The NEW DJ BIBLE
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
ImpatientFire
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2002
- Messages
- 109
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 42
Yes Sir!!!!!
karmavsDogma
Don Juan
End of first week (well, week and a half, but we had holidays in there somewhere 
), anyway:
Walked around downtown during lunch last week. Pretty busy, thanks to gorgeous weather. Made positive eye contact with about twenty people in thirty minutes. Most either looking down at feet or at stuff in hands while walking to/from work. Two hotties replied with "hello" when I said hi walking by them. One other hottie smiled and said hi. I've noticed her before in the plaza, so next time I'm going to strike up a conversation.
Late last week went to a bar with some friends. Lots of eye contact, but no approaches since I was distracted by my friends. Yeah, I know, bad excuse, whatever. I did get introduced to a new lady who is a friend of a friend. Not much interest level, but she lives in NYC and I live in Oklahoma. And besides, I'm sick of trying the long-distance thing. Anyway, I got in my quota and then some.
), anyway:Walked around downtown during lunch last week. Pretty busy, thanks to gorgeous weather. Made positive eye contact with about twenty people in thirty minutes. Most either looking down at feet or at stuff in hands while walking to/from work. Two hotties replied with "hello" when I said hi walking by them. One other hottie smiled and said hi. I've noticed her before in the plaza, so next time I'm going to strike up a conversation.
Late last week went to a bar with some friends. Lots of eye contact, but no approaches since I was distracted by my friends. Yeah, I know, bad excuse, whatever. I did get introduced to a new lady who is a friend of a friend. Not much interest level, but she lives in NYC and I live in Oklahoma. And besides, I'm sick of trying the long-distance thing. Anyway, I got in my quota and then some.
Don Rageta
Don Juan
Starting quest today. Should make for an interesting week at CSUN
C
cmdrfunk
Guest
geez!
I have yet to get a reply out of anyone I've been saying "Hi" to.
I look at them, smile, nod my head, and say hi and they pretty much either don't look at me or look and completely ignore me.
I'm decent looking too.
Damn rude people!
I have yet to get a reply out of anyone I've been saying "Hi" to.
I look at them, smile, nod my head, and say hi and they pretty much either don't look at me or look and completely ignore me.
I'm decent looking too.
Damn rude people!
Don-Wan Kenobi
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2001
- Messages
- 490
- Reaction score
- 3
Observations on DJ Boot Camp - Week # 1
I've been putting a ton of effort and reconsideration into my game after coming to the realization that I need some work.
I appreciate how MOTU's Boot Camp is organized, allowing us to examine our approach element by element. I'm working on a lot of material at once, but I'll post anything here that's relevant to Boot Camp.
I've been keeping a journal of my progress. Here are notes from one of my first times trying to establish eye contact with strangers out in the field:
I returned to campus for an afternoon lecture and got there early. I sat outside of a classroom as it emptied and tried to establish eye contact with many of the girls as they made their exit. Two out of perhaps one hundred looked back and just one of them held eye contact for over a second. I held eye contact with two girls seated inside of the lecture hall. The first one looked away last second and the second one smiled and said “Hi” as if she knew me. I reciprocated the “Hi,” and seeing she was not about to break eye contact, sat down next to her and took the opportunity to small talk. Unfortunately, small talk was all I was able to make of our encounter, albeit she was very receptive and smiled a few times.
The concensus is that...
* Women aren't expecting you to contact them
* Women aren't prepared to reciprocate a response
This leads to a variety of behaviors...
* Women may pretend they didn't see you
* Women may look away
* Women may look at you, look away, then look back
* Women may smile
* Women may give you a dirty look
* Women may smile and say "Hi"
So the question becomes, what can we do so that women are more likely to respond favorably to us?
I just spent a little over an hour on campus working on week one material. The weather is gorgeous and I was feeling a little horny. Dressed in jeans and a stylish pullover, I made my way around campus. I contacted (review: establish eye contact at about thirty feet, wait for her to react, smile projecting confidence and happiness, and say “Hi”) close to fifty girls!!! I had my work cut out for me.
I’ve noticed that more and more girls are receptive, but only when three things are in order. First, she’s aware of my presence. If she does not reciprocate eye contact when she’s within twenty feet, something has to get her attention. Body language! An abrupt change in posture or a slight head turn (i.e. checking her out) accomplishes just this. Second, once you are visible, you must smile and say “Hi” loud and clear so that she knows you are addressing her. Third, you must not only project confidence, but a confidence that you are happy with life. My being horny and having time to kill put me at an advantage. If you approach this entire situation as a game and make the most fun out of it, your playfulness and sense of fun will be contagious. Girls will tell that you are a man who likes to have fun and doesn’t take himself (or life in general) too seriously. If you are either feeling a little depressed (as I did earlier) or feeling sort of timid (as I did earlier) the rate of reciprocation diminishes, even if you force a smile.
So, to recap...
Women do not expect to be eye contacted, spoken to, or approached by strangers while their out walking the dog, riding the bus, jogging across campus, etc. When you contact them, they will either resort to a default behavior (i.e. ignore you) or engage in eye contact and perhaps more. You are more likely to get this sort of friendly response if you are happy and full of life to begin with, if you are somewhat aggressive so that she notices you, and if you smile and say "Hi" loud enough for her to hear your voice.
I encourage any DJ who is not convinced to get out there and give this a try, regardless of where you are at.
DWK
I've been putting a ton of effort and reconsideration into my game after coming to the realization that I need some work.
I appreciate how MOTU's Boot Camp is organized, allowing us to examine our approach element by element. I'm working on a lot of material at once, but I'll post anything here that's relevant to Boot Camp.
I've been keeping a journal of my progress. Here are notes from one of my first times trying to establish eye contact with strangers out in the field:
I returned to campus for an afternoon lecture and got there early. I sat outside of a classroom as it emptied and tried to establish eye contact with many of the girls as they made their exit. Two out of perhaps one hundred looked back and just one of them held eye contact for over a second. I held eye contact with two girls seated inside of the lecture hall. The first one looked away last second and the second one smiled and said “Hi” as if she knew me. I reciprocated the “Hi,” and seeing she was not about to break eye contact, sat down next to her and took the opportunity to small talk. Unfortunately, small talk was all I was able to make of our encounter, albeit she was very receptive and smiled a few times.
The concensus is that...
* Women aren't expecting you to contact them
* Women aren't prepared to reciprocate a response
This leads to a variety of behaviors...
* Women may pretend they didn't see you
* Women may look away
* Women may look at you, look away, then look back
* Women may smile
* Women may give you a dirty look
* Women may smile and say "Hi"
So the question becomes, what can we do so that women are more likely to respond favorably to us?
I just spent a little over an hour on campus working on week one material. The weather is gorgeous and I was feeling a little horny. Dressed in jeans and a stylish pullover, I made my way around campus. I contacted (review: establish eye contact at about thirty feet, wait for her to react, smile projecting confidence and happiness, and say “Hi”) close to fifty girls!!! I had my work cut out for me.
I’ve noticed that more and more girls are receptive, but only when three things are in order. First, she’s aware of my presence. If she does not reciprocate eye contact when she’s within twenty feet, something has to get her attention. Body language! An abrupt change in posture or a slight head turn (i.e. checking her out) accomplishes just this. Second, once you are visible, you must smile and say “Hi” loud and clear so that she knows you are addressing her. Third, you must not only project confidence, but a confidence that you are happy with life. My being horny and having time to kill put me at an advantage. If you approach this entire situation as a game and make the most fun out of it, your playfulness and sense of fun will be contagious. Girls will tell that you are a man who likes to have fun and doesn’t take himself (or life in general) too seriously. If you are either feeling a little depressed (as I did earlier) or feeling sort of timid (as I did earlier) the rate of reciprocation diminishes, even if you force a smile.
So, to recap...
Women do not expect to be eye contacted, spoken to, or approached by strangers while their out walking the dog, riding the bus, jogging across campus, etc. When you contact them, they will either resort to a default behavior (i.e. ignore you) or engage in eye contact and perhaps more. You are more likely to get this sort of friendly response if you are happy and full of life to begin with, if you are somewhat aggressive so that she notices you, and if you smile and say "Hi" loud enough for her to hear your voice.
I encourage any DJ who is not convinced to get out there and give this a try, regardless of where you are at.
DWK
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.