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Disqualifying Women

Chowdah

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This is going to be a very controversial topic because everyone has a different goal when dating women. However, I think posting it in the Mature Man forum would elicit some more thought out responses.

When I was younger, making sub 50k a year. I did not disqualify any woman if she was reasonably attractive. Bartenders, school teachers, 'factory' workers, and was quite successful. I developed the mindset to turn and burn a lot of women. It didn't help me personally or professionally and I was unhappy, borderline depressed. I changed how I looked at relationships (coming out of dark times) and entered an LTR with the sweetest girl I met through a volunteering event. Then shortly after into another LTR with someone who is now my ex, but still seeing her. She doesn't think twice about seeing me. Not to be arrogant, but she sees me as high value.

I just went on a 25 minute date today after talking on the phone with her for 3 hours. 10 minutes in, I 'disqualified' her because she really had no plan in life. Nothing of value for me, but just a cute face and body. I didn't even order a drink. On the drive back, I was thinking...it's really just a numbers game, to match personalities. However, at the same time, it got me thinking that there's a lot of weeds to sift through to find a good one. I'm fine with that, it gives me an opportunity to meet women and experience new personalities. At the end of the day, they are abundant.

@Atom Smasher mentioned many times that men should take a year in disqualifying women [on purpose.] I'm curious how many of you have taken this approach and how it calibrates your game long term.
 

Gamisch

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Congrats bro. You basically raised your own standards and it starts to show. Just a cute body and face isn't enough anymore; she gotta bring more to the table.

I love this approach. I posted this video before.

Although we may laugh, and say this woman is delusional AF, she does have high standards. 40 + demands vs a man just wanting a cute face and if possible a nice body. Geuss who will have the upper hand in a relationship.. ofcourse this woman is an extreme example.

Recently I feel like I am "wasting my smv" on subpar women. Like "b1tch, I'm actually better looking , got more money, a million more skills and I am so much more ambitious and smarter than you. You should thank the Lord he blessed you with a man like me."

Saw a picture of my ex(she reached out) and felt like she wasn't even that good looking. Not ugly or hideous, but far from the hot girl she once was. Love makes a man blind.

On OLD it's even worse. Women who have a obvisouly lower SMV than me trying to hook up or even act up. When you start to grow as a man your selfrespect inherently also grows. Right now I rather go on a dry spell than wasting time with women I am not even attracted to.

Sooner or later your approach will pay off .
 

thermodynamic

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It works REALLY well to get attention. The other night at the bar, my freind and I sat next to some girls and I said "whack ass bitches" The girls threw a dirty look and started kicking my chair. I ignored the **** out of them. This other girl started staring at me. I told her stop looking at me in a semi mean way. Definitely got a lot of attention.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I've got 10 bucks saying that the two women in the screencap are both of ITALIAN descent lmao
 

LTG71

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This is going to be a very controversial topic because everyone has a different goal when dating women. However, I think posting it in the Mature Man forum would elicit some more thought out responses.

When I was younger, making sub 50k a year. I did not disqualify any woman if she was reasonably attractive. Bartenders, school teachers, 'factory' workers, and was quite successful. I developed the mindset to turn and burn a lot of women. It didn't help me personally or professionally and I was unhappy, borderline depressed. I changed how I looked at relationships (coming out of dark times) and entered an LTR with the sweetest girl I met through a volunteering event. Then shortly after into another LTR with someone who is now my ex, but still seeing her. She doesn't think twice about seeing me. Not to be arrogant, but she sees me as high value.

I just went on a 25 minute date today after talking on the phone with her for 3 hours. 10 minutes in, I 'disqualified' her because she really had no plan in life. Nothing of value for me, but just a cute face and body. I didn't even order a drink. On the drive back, I was thinking...it's really just a numbers game, to match personalities. However, at the same time, it got me thinking that there's a lot of weeds to sift through to find a good one. I'm fine with that, it gives me an opportunity to meet women and experience new personalities. At the end of the day, they are abundant.

@Atom Smasher mentioned many times that men should take a year in disqualifying women [on purpose.] I'm curious how many of you have taken this approach and how it calibrates your game long term.
I married my high school sweetheart and after 25+ years of marriage, I find myself becoming more aware and a bit disappointed. While my wife is attractive and has similar values as me, I now see things that bother me. She is a good house wife and caring mother but I still find challenges. Let me explain.

My wife has no hobbies - nothing to entertain herself with during her free time. This leaves me having to “entertain“ her on the regular. Problem is she doesn’t care to do the majority of things I offer or like to do. I like to mountain bike and I’ve been deep in the woods and along comes a woman on her bike going the other way. I find this attractive because she is there by choice, shows she is adventurous and outgoing. At least that is my perception since she is doing a strenuous activity alone. I worked with one that liked sailing and bought herself a sail boat. One that regularly goes horse back riding. One that likes fishing and camping. Men like to do things, women like to talk. This indifference leads to boredom after awhile.

She got complacent after having kids and stopped exercising. While we know a group of women that practically run half marathons every morning before taking the kids to school. These women are in great shape despite being mothers and having “no time”. The inevitable outcome is that she becomes more miserable and unattractive as the pounds increase over time. Clothes don’t fit the way they want and doing any sort of physical activity is more challenging. This results in an increase of b!tching and complaining. Sorry, but we all need to maintain some decent amount of fitness. Don’t have to be a fitness model but at least make some kind of effort, if not for me but for yourself. This applies to men as well.

This may sound lame but my wife doesn’t speak my love language. I prefer physical touch while my wife likes acts of service and gifts. This makes for a cold existence. She’s not one to want to cuddle on the couch with me or the kids. Any sort of touch is short lived and minimal. Not one to randomly give you affection or rub your back after a long day at work. I’ve seen other women adverse to physical touch too, like giving high fives instead of hugs. Um, I high five my buddies and kids, not women in general. While I know some women that walk up to you with arms raised ready for a bear hug.

I guess it took me 50 years to become self aware and more observant. I suggest that these younger guys do some self-reflection and take an inventory of what they honestly want beyond her looks. We obviously want someone that is attractive, but what else? Not to have a ridiculous list like the lady in the video, but a realistic list and standards for a woman to qualify. The second lady was a classic Karen. Sorry, your big boobs and tattoos are not going to overshadow your difficult and undesirable personality. What else do you bring to the table Karen?

The vetting process is key. I may be old fashioned but how does this potential partner Interact with her family? Did she come from a healthy family? How do her parents interact? What are the her parents like? Does she have good relationships with siblings? I had blinders on. My wife’s mom and grandmother are cold af, so surprise surprise, guess who else is cold? Even her sisters comment about this so I’m not making it up. I think family and childhood experiences are large components in who we become. What does she like to do other than shop? What hobbies and interests does she have? Not to be political, but I see more happy “conservative women” than “liberal women” but maybe I am bias because I‘m more conservative. I just see a lot more miserable mid-30s liberal women, unmarried, childless and lacking purpose. I don’t hear any of my friends‘ wives complaining about the ”patriarchy“ as they drive off to brunch with the other moms.

Of course this doesn’t apply too heavily if you‘re just exploring and not looking for an LTR. But take note of what is presented to you besides her cleavage. Current culture is interesting to watch because despite all these freedoms and changes, we subconsciously follow our evolutionary and biological programming. Men still want good women with low body counts and women still want a protector and provider despite her being a “boss b!tch”.

My two cents, sorry for the long read.
 

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Chowdah

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@LTG71
I do really appreciate the time you spent on this write-up, it's evident you have learned so much during your relationship and many younger men will benefit from your experience.

The vetting process is key. I may be old fashioned but how does this potential partner Interact with her family? Did she come from a healthy family? How do her parents interact? What are the her parents like? Does she have good relationships with siblings? I had blinders on. My wife’s mom and grandmother are cold af, so surprise surprise, guess who else is cold? Even her sisters comment about this so I’m not making it up. I think family and childhood experiences are large components in who we become. What does she like to do other than shop? What hobbies and interests does she have? Not to be political, but I see more happy “conservative women” than “liberal women” but maybe I am bias because I‘m more conservative. I just see a lot more miserable mid-30s liberal women, unmarried, childless and lacking purpose. I don’t hear any of my friends‘ wives complaining about the ”patriarchy“ as they drive off to brunch with the other moms.
This is where I am at right now, where I'm pretty sure I know what I'm looking for in the personality and character of a woman having gone through the past 2 LTR's. Lacking purpose is absolutely a relationship killer. It does not encourage the man to be the best he can be and eventually he will succumb to losing his inner drive and be miserable. Given your perspective in the post, I think I'm on the right track.
 

Modern Man Advice

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This is going to be a very controversial topic because everyone has a different goal when dating women. However, I think posting it in the Mature Man forum would elicit some more thought out responses.

When I was younger, making sub 50k a year. I did not disqualify any woman if she was reasonably attractive. Bartenders, school teachers, 'factory' workers, and was quite successful. I developed the mindset to turn and burn a lot of women. It didn't help me personally or professionally and I was unhappy, borderline depressed. I changed how I looked at relationships (coming out of dark times) and entered an LTR with the sweetest girl I met through a volunteering event. Then shortly after into another LTR with someone who is now my ex, but still seeing her. She doesn't think twice about seeing me. Not to be arrogant, but she sees me as high value.

I just went on a 25 minute date today after talking on the phone with her for 3 hours. 10 minutes in, I 'disqualified' her because she really had no plan in life. Nothing of value for me, but just a cute face and body. I didn't even order a drink. On the drive back, I was thinking...it's really just a numbers game, to match personalities. However, at the same time, it got me thinking that there's a lot of weeds to sift through to find a good one. I'm fine with that, it gives me an opportunity to meet women and experience new personalities. At the end of the day, they are abundant.

@Atom Smasher mentioned many times that men should take a year in disqualifying women [on purpose.] I'm curious how many of you have taken this approach and how it calibrates your game long term.
Oh, 100%! Well done, if you have something going for you and value yourself enough, you can still get laid as much as a guy that will tolerate that type of low-hanging fruit girl. The difference is you are elevating your game to a different level and solidifying your masculine energy.

Again, well done, and proud to hear a man set high standards and know his worth.



Modern Man Advice
 

EyeBRollin

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Before I met my wife, my approach was to bang every girl I was attracted to. IMO, disqualification before sex was premature and just robs a man of a lot of good flings. Remember, you don’t even meet the real girl in the first year of dating. That’s just her representative.

Men, I understand screening but don’t be too rigid. “Go with the flow.”
 

BriBri

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Before I met my wife, my approach was to bang every girl I was attracted to. IMO, disqualification before sex was premature and just robs a man of a lot of good flings. Remember, you don’t even meet the real girl in the first year of dating. That’s just her representative.

Men, I understand screening but don’t be too rigid. “Go with the flow.”
Exactly my experience.
 

Roober

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I look to disqualify a woman every time I interact with her.

Every other man should do the same.
 
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