Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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displaying higher values online ( without a phyiscal medium)

appasionata

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displaying higher values

Hello there,

Let me briefly introduce myself to the community. I am a new member the community and I consider myself as an AFC that is in meta-morphosis. I have an LTR that has been going on for 2 years, and although I am physically away from her for 6-7 months ( we're living in different cities because of work problems) , I haven't explored any other possibilites, however, recently I have been on the lookout for opportunities and met with a few chicks from my work and contacted them online.

I don't have an established physical medium to constantly meet with this women, but I managed to increase the communication level online by chatting with the two for about 1-2 hours recently. To be perfectly honest, I don't have many plates ( other than my LTR and these two women ) and I feel that the way to being a DJ starts somewhere from here. I believe I have the toolbox to increase their interes level (one of them seems like she's already interested) without being too much available/ thus creating an image that they are my only plates.

So my questions : How can I really simulate that I am a desired man who has many other options, and at the same time, I need to be in some sort of communication with these women because their ILs are simply too low at the moment.

My conflict is , whenever I call one up, I am degrading my value on their perspective and that eventually breaks the whole purpose.

So I am pointing out a theoretical conflict here, - to increase a woman's IL and not to seem like they are the only plates you have.

Thnaks for the comments!

appa
 
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"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Latinoman

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Deal with people in person (meet women in real life not on line). That would be a good start.

Also, DJism is not about picking women. It is more about self-improvement.
 

##17

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Latinoman said:
Deal with people in person (meet women in real life not on line). That would be a good start.

Also, DJism is not about picking women. It is more about self-improvement.
Hey man! How are you?
 

Latinoman

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##17 said:
Hey man! How are you?
Doing great! Was sick for a couple of days and spent both days either sleeping or posting in here. LOL.

Other than that, I am doing great. Spending some time with the kids, etc.

What about you?
 

##17

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appasionata--what Latinoman said about self-improvement.

However, if you are looking for a new girlfriend, you need to break up with your current girlfriend first. You owe it to her, just as she would owe it to you if she were looking.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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appasionata

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Latinoman said:
Deal with people in person (meet women in real life not on line). That would be a good start.

Also, DJism is not about picking women. It is more about self-improvement.
I didn't say I am trying to pick up women. I am trying to get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option and the only way I can do it is by spinning more plates.

In order to meet with women who are not very much familiar with you in the beginning you have to initiate some contact - by calling or communicating.

and that by itself damages your image -

that was the question
 

appasionata

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##17 said:
appasionata--what Latinoman said about self-improvement.

However, if you are looking for a new girlfriend, you need to break up with your current girlfriend first. You owe it to her, just as she would owe it to you if she were looking.
No I don't have to break up with her while I am on the lookout. I might not be as interested,
and secondly, why would I risk my LTR in this case where I can discover possibilities at zero risk ?
 

##17

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Latinoman said:
Doing great! Was sick for a couple of days and spent both days either sleeping or posting in here. LOL.

Other than that, I am doing great. Spending some time with the kids, etc.

What about you?

Cool. Hopefully you are feeling better though!

Things are going well for me, thanks. Right now I am posting from an internet cafe--supposed to be doing some work, LOL. Met someone in the grocery store the other day, going to get together with her tomorrow...
 

Latinoman

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appasionata said:
I didn't say I am trying to pick up women. I am trying to get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option and the only way I can do it is by spinning more plates.
You don't spin plates when you are in a COMMITTED relationship. Unless...you want to cheat. Which is your prerrogative as I am not here to preach you on morals.

In order to meet with women who are not very much familiar with you in the beginning you have to initiate some contact - by calling or communicating.
You can communicate without calling. Sometimes communication could be in the form of your posture or how you carry yourself...that could bring a smile or a well placed glance at you from the woman...and vice-versa.

and that by itself damages your image -

that was the question

Since when talking to people damage your image?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Latinoman

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##17 said:
Cool. Hopefully you are feeling better though!

Things are going well for me, thanks. Right now I am posting from an internet cafe--supposed to be doing some work, LOL. Met someone in the grocery store the other day, going to get together with her tomorrow...
EXCELLENT! One of the best places to meet a woman...the grocery store.
 

Latinoman

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appasionata said:
No I don't have to break up with her while I am on the lookout. I might not be as interested,
and secondly, why would I risk my LTR in this case where I can discover possibilities at zero risk ?
I know what you are trying to do. That is NOT spinning plates. You are trying to branch swing.

I don't think I want to help you with that.
 

appasionata

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Latinoman said:
Appasionata...are you a woman too?
yeah I am a chick that is in disguise. you should put a chick test before you allow people register to this site...
;)


No, I am not a woman, don't worry about that
 

slaog

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You want to come across as interested in them but at the same time not needing them.

How I let them know I'm high value is by indirectly telling them that I have high standards (which I do). ie I just mention past relationships where the girl didn't live up to my standards etc..

Also don't say you're looking for a relationship. What I do here is say I'm not looking for a relationship but I'm open to the possibility if somebody comes along who satisfy me.

Regarding calling them up... I've always found that the best thing to do is take it slowly DHV etc increase their interest levels and let them chase after you. NEVER chase women it's a major turnoff. So be prepared to take things slowly and at the womans pace.

Having said all that the best way to become high value is to develop a high value mindset.
 

Latinoman

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appasionata said:
yeah I am a chick that is in disguise. you should put a chick test before you allow people register to this site...
;)


No, I am not a woman, don't worry about that
The reason I asked is because of the "appasionata" nick-name. That's all.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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appasionata

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Latinoman said:
I know what you are trying to do. That is NOT spinning plates. You are trying to branch swing.

I don't think I want to help you with that.
I don't think I am here to seek help from "only" you.

Are you representing the whole community's views?

It's amazing that you have ethical concerns while the mere existance of this forum is also debatable in terms of ethics.

I am not gonna argue about that here. Please don't help if you are not comfortable with my views.

appasionata is a Beethoven sonata, if you listen the piece ( 3rd movement ) you'll be convinced that I am not a woman
 

##17

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appasionata said:
I didn't say I am trying to pick up women. I am trying to get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option and the only way I can do it is by spinning more plates.

In order to meet with women who are not very much familiar with you in the beginning you have to initiate some contact - by calling or communicating.

and that by itself damages your image -

that was the question
You're using chick-logic, dude. Stop using chick-logic. That's a first step towards DJ-ism--NOT accepting second-rate behavior from yourself.

What you are planning to do is what we call 'branch-swinging', something that women typically do. If you were really into your S/O, you wouldn't feel the need to look as you seem to now.

If you want to see what else is out there to the point where you're pursuing things online, show your current girlfriend some respect and break up with her now.
 

##17

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Latinoman said:
EXCELLENT! One of the best places to meet a woman...the grocery store.

I will keep you posted, my friend...
 

Latinoman

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appasionata said:
I don't think I am here to seek help from "only" you.

Are you representing the whole community's views?

It's amazing that you have ethical concerns while the mere existance of this forum is also debatable in terms of ethics.

I am not gonna argue about that here. Please don't help if you are not comfortable with my views.

appasionata is a Beethoven sonata, if you listen the piece ( 3rd movement ) you'll be convinced that I am not a woman
I don't care about the ethics. It has nothing to do with that.

The reason I won't help you is that if you want to be man enough as to cheat and potentially hurt the woman in your long term relationship (and for that matter potentially hurt yourself if caught)...then you might as well be man enough to go out there and face this on your own. It is about accountability. I am not going to do the dirty job for you.
 

appasionata

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##17 said:
You're using chick-logic, dude. Stop using chick-logic. That's a first step towards DJ-ism--NOT accepting second-rate behavior from yourself.

What you are planning to do is what we call 'branch-swinging', something that women typically do. If you were really into your S/O, you wouldn't feel the need to look as you seem to now.

If you want to see what else is out there to the point where you're pursuing things online, show your current girlfriend some respect and break up with her now.
I am not accepting second-rate behavior which is waiting here very far away from my current gf, doing nothing. That's second-rate behaviour for my standards. I don't know about your standards though

I am not pursuing things online, because the people in question are from my work place,

and although I did explain it and you didn't get it, i am not necessarily trying to 'branch-swing'...
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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