"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Dilemma: She wants relationship; I want FWB. help

lizardfloyd

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Ok, here it goes. I met this girl about less than a month ago over at my friends house. It was supposed to be a night of drinking and hanging out. I had been C&F the whole night with this one girl, calling her out on some things, making fun of the music she likes and then in front of everyone she jumped on top of me and started making out with me. I mean I was pretty blown away, being that I had never had any luck at all with a girl period. I was pretty drunk off my ass and some of my friends left to go and get something to eat. Me and her stayed on the couch and made out pretty much the whole time they were gone until they came back.

A week later. Go back over to drink again. Me, my buddy, tha GIRL, and another girl he knows. We drink for a while and then we watch a movie. She gets on top of me and lays down while we watch the movie. We make out and what not. I was about to try and go for 3rd base but got rejected cuz she was on her period. I told her I was going to bed cuz i had to get up early the next morning. She got up with me out of the seat and gave me this long kiss goodnight and said she was gonna stay up and watch the rest of the movie.

Antoher week later. Same stuff happens again. We're outside smoking and she drops her cigarette clinches me and starts making out with me. We come back in. I sit in the recliner and she pulls this huge blanket over both of us and we start makin out again. She even takes her shirt and bra off under the covers. But, can't really do much when the whole party is on the outside of the covers.

OK, now, being a week later my friend calls me up and says she called him and they were talkin and she asks "what's his deal?" refferring to me. He tells me that she really really likes me and wants to try and work on a relationship with me. She said that she felt like she is getting mixed signals from me, but she can't figure me out and it is driving her nuts! (Thanks DJ Forum)

She also told him she didn't want to be a drunken one-time hook-up and that she was lookin for something more with me. I'm honsetly not lookin for a relationship with all the stuff I got going on in my life. I mean, having a girl show that much interest in me in that short amount of time kinda wowed my mind.

So how do I turn her into a FWB??? without all the relationship stuff? Or at the least tell her I'm not lookin for a relationship at all?? I'm afraid she might go psycho or weird on me. I never lead her on, never had sex with her, nor have I really called her. I usually only see her at my friends house when we all get together to drink approx. 1-2 times a week. I mean we barely know each other.

Any help would be appreciated.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Don 'Ron

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It stands for "Friends With Benefits" (you guys really should put what these initials mean in parenthesis at least once in your stories for all the newbies here).

As for your situation, lizardfloyd, it's really hard to turn a chick who likes you into an FWB situation. No matter how hard you try to keep it strictly physical, she's going to be screwing you in the hopes that it makes you want to be with her long-term. It would be different if both of your were just single and looking to get each other off every once in a while, but if she's really feeling you, eventually she's going to ask if she's more to you than just a good lay. When you tell her she's not, trust me - the shat will hiteth the fan.

-Don 'Ron
 

GuitarPlayer

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Originally posted by lizardfloyd
Need a little more help yall!! I searched the (FWB) articles. But couldnt find enough information.
I'm still a bit of a newbie myself, but here goes:

Generally speaking, a girl that likes you enough to sleep with you will also like you enough to want an emotional relationship. Think about it; she had enough of the required emotional attachment to want to be with you. For a woman, sex is very rarely just for the pleasure, even though they enjoy it as much as we do if not more.

It isn't hard to GET a FWB, but keeping them with no strings attached is another matter.

Just my $0.02.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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johnmich

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Originally posted by Don 'Ron
It stands for "Friends With Benefits" (you guys really should put what these initials mean in parenthesis at least once in your stories for all the newbies here).

-Don 'Ron
Im not a newbie jus couldnt remember what it stood for.
 

LongDrinkofWater

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FWB had me for a second - try looking under "fück buddy".

Also, FB's usually wind up developing feelings anyway, so even if you did manage it to begin with, you'd probably wind up dealing with this kettle of fish all over again........
 

Scorched

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eeeh

I've been in a similar situation!
The girl ended up getting attached... :(
Even after I told her, "Sex creates attachment!"
It just caused too much drama :(

But the cards I played which worked... were...
"I don't want to settle down right now, I'm not saying I wanna **** aroud, I just like attention, this is the first time I've been single since i was 16!"

Hmmmm... If she'll be just FWB with you, how many other guys will she also do that with? :( If she says yes... then she's a hoe in my book... You want a challenge man... You want a girl you are into... Then the sex is like 10 times better... Sex with her wouldn't be that much better than jacking off. :(
 

Ice Cold

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For starters, it's her friend that told you that she wants a relationship.She coundn't just say that her friend is horny and wants to suck your ****. FWB is a relationship too

She's coming onto you strongly, but you're inexperienced and isn't ready for sex. :crackup:

She's perceiving you as someone who's good with ladies. But because you didn't bang her yet, she's confused.

Get her in the sack. The difference between a FWB and a relationship is going out once a week or so.
 

girlsarecrazy

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Don't be afraid of a relationship. If the girl is falling for you this hard. You can have basically total control of the relationship. Just don't call her, talk to her everyday, etc and it won't affect your life.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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