difficulties with small school environment

[Kool4Katz]

I go to grad school, a relatively big program. I'm concerned because I dislike sarging alone. The friends I have are nerds; the guys I don't like much are the ones who actually do out. But I can go solo if I need to...

the real problem is I am doubly self-conscious being a student in a somewhat isolated town. It's one thing to feel weird going to a bar alone and meet people you don't know, but I'm extra spooked because I don't want to get a reputation in my program as a creepy guy who goes out alone (because while I don't have a ton of "friends" to go out with I do socialize a lot and know people casually. They might be at the bars, and then I have explaining to do).

My only solution is... to drive hella far to crappy bars I guess. Just want to see if this is an understandable problem and if other solutions might exist.

In general, i am shocked by how unadventurous most of my friends are. I'm not looking to simply meet girls. I just want to have fun, get into interesting predicaments. Reading some posts here convinces me that "DJs" must be a rare breed.

 

[runner83]

If you know people casually and they are at the bars, then why not strike up a conversation with them?

Chances are will no one will care where your friends are, as long as you are talking to people.

And if your friends are losers (trust me, judging from your post they are), you need to ditch them, as hard as it may be, and strike out on your own until you make new ones.

You need to get over the hang up about looking "creepy" going out alone.

Because in reality, it is actually a lot easier to pick up chicks alone than going out with friends, but it does take balls.

Majority of my pick ups in bars etc have been when I was out alone or when i was temporarily separated from my friends.

Why?

Because chicks who are into you, who would not normally approach you if you were with other guys, will take the opportunity to approach you if you are alone (or at least, circulating and not bound to any one group). And if that happens, it is practically in the bag.

Give it a shot and see how you go.

 

[Kool4Katz]

If you know people casually and they are at the bars, then why not strike up a conversation with them?

Chances are will no one will care where your friends are, as long as you are talking to people.

And if your friends are losers (trust me, judging from your post they are), you need to ditch them, as hard as it may be, and strike out on your own until you make new ones.

You need to get over the hang up about looking "creepy" going out alone.

Because in reality, it is actually a lot easier to pick up chicks alone than going out with friends, but it does take balls.

Majority of my pick ups in bars etc have been when I was out alone or when i was temporarily separated from my friends.

Why?

Because chicks who are into you, who would not normally approach you if you were with other guys, will take the opportunity to approach you if you are alone (or at least, circulating and not bound to any one group). And if that happens, it is practically in the bag.

Give it a shot and see how you go.

First off, thanks for the insight. much appreciated.

Why not casually strike up a convo with people I know? Just consider that I'm in a giant high school, metaphorically, with the grad program. I'd find it embarrassing to be at a bar alone - given I could bump into people I know. Not simply because I might seem "creepy," but because I'm also a loser who would go out alone. Wouldn't you, from a social standpoint?

 

[goodfoot]

The first thing I do when I step in a bar is find a guy or a couple guys by themselves. Introduce yourself, learn their names. This gets me in a social frame of mind and gives you some"friends" to work with if necessary.

 

[idk575]

Man I go out to the bar alone all the time, and usually that's when I have the best luck. Honestly, the only time i've ever picked up a waitress is when I go to the bar alone.

Have some self confidence and just do your own thing, people will follow.

One more note, don't say "I have nerd friends", it just makes you look bad, if they're your friends they're your friends. Be cool with that, you should respect your friends.

 

[lolwut]

i think by the time people are in grad school they are mature enough to not care about this whole "if you sit by yourself at lunch then you're a loser" thing.

This is really more of a high school mentality.

 

[Kool4Katz]

i think by the time people are in grad school they are mature enough to not care about this whole "if you sit by yourself at lunch then you're a loser" thing.

This is really more of a high school mentality.

Thanks guys. Yeah I couldn't agree more. It IS a high school mentality. Trust me, I'm not paranoid about it. We really do have one in my program. Tons of gossip. Feels like high school. Just trying to clarify. And as to "nerd friends" well it does make me look bad, but they're nerds from a competitive program. It's true.

 

[idk575]

Thanks guys. Yeah I couldn't agree more. It IS a high school mentality. Trust me, I'm not paranoid about it. We really do have one in my program. Tons of gossip. Feels like high school. Just trying to clarify. And as to "nerd friends" well it does make me look bad, but they're nerds from a competitive program. It's true.

We're saying that your mentality seems childish..

 

[Mike32ct]

I've only scored alone.

 

[idk575]

I've only scored alone.

I know that's not how you meant it, but people could really make some jokes on that one

 

[runner83]

I've only scored alone.

Assuming you're talking about scoring with chicks (, I agree with this. Probably 3/4 of my "night game" hook ups have been alone.

Because like I said earlier, chicks are much more likely to approach you if you are not some pvssy hiding against the wall with your friends for support.