Difference between Confidence and arrogance.

[SamTheHobit]

I'm curious, how does a confident person act and a arogant person act? And how do you know if your a confident person or an arragont one?

 

[backbreaker]

I get told, hell I know I am pretty arrogant. I don't make any excuses for my behavior. I'm not a jerk or anything, but everything I've done so far in life, the things I do on a daily basis, leads me to believe I am a better person then the vast majority of people I meet. I would be lying if I said otherwise.

there is nothing wrong with arrogance, but you still should treat people with respect which I try my best to do. people who have a real problem with arrogance are the people IMHO who want 5th place participation trophies in life. They want to feel like they are on an equal footing as you are, but if only the breaks went this way or if they had certain things happen, they would be right where you are and that's just not how the world works.

The only problem with arrogance is when it's not real/false. Then it's just being a douche.


As far as the difference, confidence is the belief in ones self to preform a particular act. Even when we talk about 'have confidence' on the forum, (girls like a man with confidence) we are talking about a particulate, singular act of confidence, i.e the confidence to talk to a woman. Arrogance is an overall belief that you are superior to someone/some people. IMHO they really aren't one in the same.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Great reply. That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!

 

[perseverance]

Arrogance leads to complacency, complacency means you are not focused and on the ball. If I am not focused and not on the ball, then I am not in control and that's not good feeling for me.

You can be confident while also displaying humility, humility is my best trait by far, apart from maybe my eyebrows which resemble the very hungry caterpillar or my sense of humour. Humility is a wonderful trait and I feel the most confident people in this world are also the ones that show a large amount of humility. I know that I'm good man, I don't feel the need to show people or tell people that I am a good man. There is no reason for me to think I am better than anyone else and there is no reason for me to behave like I am superior to the man next to me. If I had this attitude of "I am superior to him, him and her", I probably wouldn't be joining my country's Armed Forces, but that's neither here, nor there.

Arrogance does nothing for me and I find arrogant people are often insecure people and I like nothing more than making an arrogant person look like an idiot. I get great satisfaction in taking an arrogant man down a peg or two. I seem to remember David Haye acting arrogant prior to the Klitschko fight and what happened? The arrogant man that is David Haye was made to eat his words and a whopping great slice of humble pie in the process, but even with such a bitter pill, Mr arrogant still couldn't accept he was beaten by the better man - he made excuse after excuse, even pulling out his broken little toe in the process. I hope he takes on Vitali and gets smashed in. Maybe back-to-back losses against the Klitschko's will bring Haye back down to earth with a massive bump, he sure as hell needs it.

 

[Aaron B]

I assume that at least some portion of people will consider a confident man to be arrogant

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Arrogance is limiting your mind to one setting and always following it.

Example: Get an F on a paper that you thought was great, immediately assume the professor is an idiot who cannot understand your genius writing ability and accept the fact that he will fail you.

Confidence is an unlimited mind which considers multiple perspectives and always draws upon something optimistic from the experience, even if it was a self-deprecating event.

Example: I got an F on this paper that I thought was great, but by checking out the corrections and criticisms the professor made, I will rewrite this paper and exercise my writing skills to perform better in the future.

 

[backbreaker]

Arrogance is limiting your mind to one setting and always following it.

Example: Get an F on a paper that you thought was great, immediately assume the professor is an idiot who cannot understand your genius writing ability and accept the fact that he will fail you.

Confidence is an unlimited mind which considers multiple perspectives and always draws upon something optimistic from the experience, even if it was a self-deprecating event.

Example: I got an F on this paper that I thought was great, but by checking out the corrections and criticisms the professor made, I will rewrite this paper and exercise my writing skills to perform better in the future.

that has nothing to do with confidence. that's objectivity.

I think what a lot of people here think is confidence is really self esteem. Self Esteem, Confidence, and arrogance are three very distinct things.

Self Esteem is your general opinion towards yourself. I think when people say "confidence" this is what they really are referring to.

Confidence is a specific belief in yourself to do specific task at hand. I have the confidence that I can make an A on this next test or make the girl in the corner over there laugh. Confidence can be derived from previous experience, or I can be derived from high self esteem. I have confidence I can run 1 mile on the treadmill becuase I do it 3 times a week. Or, even though I have never been married before, I am confident that my wife and I will have a long lasting, mutually benefiting marriage, because I have high self esteem about myself and my ability to keep her happy and I'm sure she feels the same way.

Arrogance is the belief that you can do a task or something, better than someone else can do such task, or that you possess something that other people don't have or have something in more abundance than someone or some people have. Because no person on earth is what you would call "overall arrogant". I doubt bill gates thinks he can hang with me in the gym, when taken out of his element his arrogance is gone. But in his element I'm quite sure Bill gates is pretty arrogant. When put in a point blank phrase such as that, it takes alot of the societal stigmas out of the word arrogant. I believe when I walk into a club (when I was single) I was the best catch there, or a bar or whatever, or the best looking or had the most going for me, despite who else was there. "That may or may not be true, but that's how I felt. When I make my horse racing bets, I generally feel like I know what I am doing more than about 97-98% of the people wagering, and in both cases, the results I would get when i talked to women and at the horse track back up my feelings.

What the OP is calling arrogance is a defense mechanism people use when they feel inferior. I.E girls will call me arrogant because I think I'm too good for them, because I won't talk to them (When I was single). "you are so damn arrogant,l you think you are the **** don't you". See, in that situation, actually SHE THINKS I'm the ****, and instead of acknowledging the fact that I am in fact, the ****, she wants to get out of the exchange with her ego in place, by shaming me or making me feel bad because I won't talk her even though she made it apparent that she wants to talk to me. This and the "are you gay" response go hand and hand. And usually she's right. I do think I can do better because I am better than what I think she deserves.

Do not believe for a second women are turned off by true arrogance. In fact it's the exact opposite. If I actually think I'm better than anyone else in the room and more of a catch tan the woman looking at me...

let me put it this way. this is the difference between girls and boys.

a boy, if he sees a girl who he thinks is ass licking hot, has guys all around her, and she feels confident about herself and knows her value, will try to "prove himself" in some way, shape or form. This doesn't necessarily mean go AFC (though it usually does) but he will try to show her that he's value as well in some way. either by gaming her, or white knighting, whatever he thinks is going to build him UP he will do

a girl, even my wife, will try to bring you DOWN to her level ,whatever she thinks that is. Ergo "god you are so arrogant, you think you are the **** because all these girls like you don't you". Men and women take 2 different routes to get what they want.

When a woman calls you arrogant, it's really a backhanded compliment because it's not true arrogance. It's really her just saying you are better than me and I like you. It's really a woman going AFC.

want me to prove my point? easy. when is the last time you or anyone else called a woman arrogant? I rest my case.

Any man who outwardly calls another man arrogant I just classify as an AFC. he's using women's tactics to try to feel better about himself.

When put in those terms, everyone here has a tad bit of arrogance to them, just some more than others.

 

[Poonani Maker]

To me, confidence is shutting all other motherfvckers out, and completing a task until the end. This means, even (in a roundabout way) telling your superiors (your managers) to basically "shut the fvck up" when they try to psychologically throw you off or plant the seeds for failure. I believe that managers (today) intentionally (if he/she doesn't like you) psychologically fvck with you in a cloak and dagger mirage (window dressing of saying something in the guise of "helping you" yet with ultimate insincerity to throw you off balance). Sheer confidence is giving the big fvck you to any encouragement, any criticism, any peep, word, or phrase by Anyone who is there, in your immediate presence, to enter thoughts (good or bad) into your mind. It's a laser focus. Being confident is being clear and noiseless to all outside interference while committing the tasks to complete your current mission. It's a shut-out, to make that score on goal or target (even if it takes a whole day or 30 years).

 

[zekko]

The real question is do women find arrogance attractive? I would gather from Backbreaker's answer he thinks so. I could definitely see it, I imagine some girls find it attractive.

On the other hand, I was watching people speed dating on TV the other day, and one girl complained about a guy being "too arrogant". And it wasn't just a case of a woman saying one thing while actually finding it attractive, because she did not seek another date with him.

 

[Jariel]

Arrogance leads to complacency, complacency means you are not focused and on the ball. If I am not focused and not on the ball, then I am not in control and that's not good feeling for me.

You can be confident while also displaying humility, humility is my best trait by far, apart from maybe my eyebrows which resemble the very hungry caterpillar or my sense of humour. Humility is a wonderful trait and I feel the most confident people in this world are also the ones that show a large amount of humility.

I couldn't agree more. Every time I start to get arrogant, I start to get complacent and start letting myself go. That sense of humility is what tells me I can always strive for better and is what keeps me working harder and improving myself more.

It is also a big factor in my charisma and social skills. Because I am confident in my own skin and have nothing to prove to anyone, I always encourage the best of people and praise their strengths. It allows me to bond well with people and make friends very easily, because people gravitate towards those who make them feel good.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm beginning to wonder if the word, "Boldness" is more accurate than "confidence" when it comes to what is attractive to women. As has been stated before, confidence implies familiarity with "what to do" based on past experience, whereas Boldness implies bravery regardless of the hoped-for outcome.

 

[PapiChulo]

Arrogance is malicious pride that stems from insecurity. Most people mistakenly take it for confidence, it is not, but women love it when it's in moderation and the person has exellent social skills and virtues to boast, then that person is said to be a "charming gentelman".

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Arrogant people need to tell you how confident they are... Confident people don't need to say anything at all.

 

[rhcp83]

For football fans:

Arrogant - Rex Ryan
Confident - Drew Brees

 

[SamTheHobit]

I assume that at least some portion of people will consider a confident man to be arrogant

QFT

 

[backbreaker]

For football fans:

Arrogant - Rex Ryan
Confident - Drew Brees

this is exactly what i mean by what normal people call "arrogant" is not arrogant at all. Rex Ryan is not arrogant. half the time he's trying to convince himself and his team of what he is saying. He's just talking, arrogance is not in what you say, it's in how you behave

A true arrogant person in the NFL would be Bill Belichick. He thinks he's smarter than everyone else in the league, he thinks his system works better than anyone elses in the league does. and you know what, he's probably right.

he can be a douche / prick but doesn't go out of his way to be, he's just all about work / football and it rubs some people the wrong way.

 

[AAAgent]

yeah, i agree with you bb about the difference between confidence and arrogance. I think the only difference between arrogant people and confident people is that alot of confident people are humble.

Arrogant people have this sense of self entitlement especially the successful ones as they believe they are better because of their success. Arrogant people tend to not have many friends surrounding them because of their attitude. I would also say arrogant people are more honest as they tend to say it how it is and aren't afraid to offend people.

 

[TopGun2000]

The real question is do women find arrogance attractive? I would gather from Backbreaker's answer he thinks so. I could definitely see it, I imagine some girls find it attractive.

On the other hand, I was watching people speed dating on TV the other day, and one girl complained about a guy being "too arrogant". And it wasn't just a case of a woman saying one thing while actually finding it attractive, because she did not seek another date with him.

she probably meant that he's "rude".

 

[Super Hero]

Walking up to a Hot daughter and her mother and saying to the daughter "wanna fcuk" is confidence.
Walking up to a Hot daughter and her mother and saying to the mother "wanna fcuk" is arrogance.

 

[perseverance]

Arrogant people need to tell you how confident they are... Confident people don't need to say anything at all.

Yeah, that's what I think as well.