"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Did Valerie Bertinelli divorce her 2nd husband because she's an Alpha widow of Eddie Van Halen?

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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SW15

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I don't enjoy comparing regular people to celebrities. One of the contributing factors as to why this marriage ended is the ghost of Eddie Van Halen. It's quite difficult for any man to live up to the standard of an exciting, elite musician. Tom Vitale is an high earning businessman but he's still boring compared to one of the best guitarists ever.

It says Bertinelli met Vitale in 2004 and her marriage to EVH didn't end until 2007. Hmmmm.

The bigger problem in this is the institutional of marriage, which has failed in the secular sense. Bertinelli and Vitale are both Boomers, which is why they actually bothered to get married. Boomers were brought up to believe in marriage. My generation (Millennials--the children of Boomers in many cases) grew up when divorce was normalized so a good portion of us aren't inclined to get married because we realize the relationship will end anyway. There are a lot of 35-40 year old early Millennials out there who have never married but have had a bunch of failed, extended relationships. When a Boomer has a failed LTR, it's often a marriage. When a Millennial has one, it's more likely to be non-marital but a lot of Millennials have still gotten married.

The odds of a marriage being a success aren't that great.

There's about an 80% chance of AT LEAST one of the following 3 things happening over the lifespan of a marriage...
  • Divorce
  • Affair
  • Long periods of a mediocre to subpar dynamic where the relationship just continues on based on inertia/societal pressure. The passion is gone.
All 3 outcomes are bad. The 3rd (long passionless periods) can lead to an affair which leads to a divorce.

There are plenty of people who have been married 30 years (looks like a success to outsiders) but are living passionless existences with their partners.

Bertinelli and Vitale were only married and not separated for 9 years and their total relationship time is maybe 12-15 years (2004/2007-2019 separation).

There's a good chance this marriage would have failed even without the presence of Eddie Van Halen.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Eddie was kind of a dork actually. All-time great guitarist but there's been rumors he was on the spectrum. Bertinelli was a child star, so she's been generally spoiled for a while..
 

zekko

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Eddie was kind of a dork actually. All-time great guitarist but there's been rumors he was on the spectrum.
I don't know if that's true or not, but I hear he would walk around with his guitar all day, building his motor skills on the instrument. It was no accident that he became such a virtuoso.

I don't know who the greatest guitar player ever was, but when it comes to rock, there's little doubt he and Hendrix were the most influential.
 
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