"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Did i just totally win this conversation?

kel

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This girl and I get along really well, we really jive, and when I was talking to her on AIM the other night I was feeling particularly michevious. Background: She has a nasty habit of slapping me for things which i've made clear i'm NOT okay with, I just got a really nice movie theatre type thing set up in my room:


HER: and we'll all be coming to your room to watch movies. actually, that would be cool- donnie darko or something on a huge screen...

ME: but of course. im still setting everything up proper

HER : i know. i wasn't begging an invite or anything. it's just cool

ME: well you're still invited ;-)
ME: as long as you promise not to hit me, which you have a nasty habit of doing.

HER: i only do it when you deserve it

ME: well then consider the invite rescinded!

HER: so all you have to do is stop provoking me. i'm not usually a violent person
HER: ouch. that hurt :-(

ME: is your witty reparte' not quick enough to come back with anything but violence?

HER: well, sometimes you're so infuriating that i just can't think fast enough. and a smack is sometimes a lot more satisfactory, honestly. :-D

ME: :grin:
ME: kinky.

HER: see- how should i respond to that?? you are really getting good at figuring out what buttons to push. no one else here has caught on as fast as you have.

ME: well i'm flattered, sweetie. i gotta run. i'll catch ya later!

->and then I left to go buy Halo 2 :)


I'm gonna copy the conversation again and insert my comments. Let me know if you think my assesment is accurate.


HER: and we'll all be coming to your room to watch movies. actually, that would be cool- donnie darko or something on a huge screen...

-->That sounds hot. I wanna come over.

ME: but of course. im still setting everything up proper

-->I want her to come over, just not right now. I can wait.

HER : i know. i wasn't begging an invite or anything. it's just cool

-->I dont want to seem to eager, but i dont want to turn down his offer!

ME: well you're still invited ;-)
ME: as long as you promise not to hit me, which you have a nasty habit of doing.

-->Well, she's still coming over since i want her to. But she's gonna come over on my terms and play by my rules!

HER: i only do it when you deserve it

-->I'm gonna qualify him now. Is he man enough to stand up to me?

ME: well then consider the invite rescinded!

--> You bet your ass I am. And guess what? I can just walk right away from her.

HER: so all you have to do is stop provoking me. i'm not usually a violent person
HER: ouch. that hurt :-(

-->I'm gonna keep trying to blame and qualify him until I read his response, which puts me in my place. Ouch. That hurt :(

ME: is your witty reparte' not quick enough to come back with anything but violence?

--> Now I'm going to bust on her for it!

HER: well, sometimes you're so infuriating that i just can't think fast enough. and a smack is sometimes a lot more satisfactory, honestly. :-D

-->I need to justify myself now that he wont take my crap anymore!

ME: :grin:
ME: kinky.

--> That was too easy. Way to set me up.

HER: see- how should i respond to that?? you are really getting good at figuring out what buttons to push. no one else here has caught on as fast as you have.

-->He's got me totally under his control. I can't believe this ****! Noone else that I've met at school has figured out how to turn me on so fast.

ME: well i'm flattered, sweetie. i gotta run. i'll catch ya later!
-->Woot. I win.

Maybe i'm being too generous with myself. What do y'all make of this little gem?

--Kel
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Grey Fox

Master Don Juan
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You allow a woman to hit you in a not so playful way? Buddy if you two get on so great, you would have tagged that ass by now. You read far too deeply into conversations, especially ones on AIM. Remember actions speak louder than words.

-Grey Fox
 

kel

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Dude. She's not trying to knock me out! Its plenty playful! I still call her on it because its something to bust her proverbial balls on.
 

-HPNOTIQ-

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Yea..I don't get it Grey. I don't get why people get off on internet chat convos. I'm in the school of thought (and experience) that words on a computer screen cannot elicit the same emotions a glance, or a smell, or for that matter a voice can have.

Yea..I've used IMs to have quick and whitty convos with women, but, I'm chatting with like 4 or 5 women at the same time...how impersonal is that? I'm sure its about as impersonal as the girls I'm chatting with are all chatting with 5 other guys each.

Get my drift?

If you can say, "hey...lets get off the computer I'll call you because my eyes hurt." and she actually does...you have far more greater angles and options when it comes to being C/F, witty, and charming.

What's next with technology? Video games where we can go on virtual dates, have virtual drinks, and have virtual sex?

Sad commentary on society.:(

Its almost impossible to guage or give advice to IM chat convos. There is no emotion to them.
 

diplomatic_lie

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Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
What's next with technology? Video games where we can go on virtual dates, have virtual drinks, and have virtual sex?
Done, done, and done. The time it took for you to say that, about 100 people joined another virtual life game.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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quest

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face the facts..
most of the people who are "living the dream" in virtual reality are those that failed in life. or are on that path.

anyone who reads this site and is striving to become everything a don juan is. (read successful in all aspects of his life). is "living the dream" in actual reality. would not want to waste his time in silly things such as virtual dating..

get with the program guys... meeting chicks online will not often result in meeting them... and even if it does, do u want the desperate chick who hangs out on the internet and is prepared to meet men like that.
 

smallgiant

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I think chatting is a nice way to learn to be ****y and Funny, you'll can try it, and if you're to ****y or something, the chick will ends the convo.. so what, there just more girls..
And when you see they respond good at you're arrogant jokes, you can try the jokes in the real world.

On this way I 've learned to be ****y and Funny. Just like deangelo said: AIM, MSN, Yahoo.. it are great woman-simulators.

But don't get to virtual, get out and try it too..
 

quest

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Originally posted by smallgiant
I think chatting is a nice way to learn to be ****y and Funny, you'll can try it, and if you're to ****y or something, the chick will ends the convo.. so what, there just more girls..
And when you see they respond good at you're arrogant jokes, you can try the jokes in the real world.

On this way I 've learned to be ****y and Funny. Just like deangelo said: AIM, MSN, Yahoo.. it are great woman-simulators.

But don't get to virtual, get out and try it too..

and the difference with doing that out in the real world?
the women end the convo, u find a new girl. whats the problem?

if the women doesn't end the convo, u've got a new friend.. hows that?
 

squirrels

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Stop being so worried about "winning." Just play the game. Bring her up there and lay the mack down on her. ;)
 

smallgiant

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Quest, you've got a point here. But in the real world, you can't just open 12 convo's at one time.
When you're chatting you can try to make 12 similar convos and see how the girls responds.. see what makes sense to them.

In the real world you can try it out, too.. ofcourse, but it wil take more balls in the beginning. So my advice is to start a little in the real world and a bit more on the internet. And later change it to a bit more in real world and a little on the internet.

Am I clear? :confused:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Giovanni Casanova

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How do you "win" a conversation? It's a f*cking conversation, not an epic battle of good versus evil. There are NO WINNERS. It wasn't even an argument or a disagreement. It was just a conversation, a rather bland one at that. How are we supposed to judge a "winner"?
 
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