"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Did I interpret her text message correctly?

Larversurus

Don Juan
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First just some background about me.

I'm a guy in my early 20s, I'm really short (160 centimeters), I have had really bad acne on my face (it's starting to clear up more and more, thank God) and in my opinion, my looks in general isn't much to be grateful for.

Needless to say, my experience with girls was practically 0 (still a virgin, of course), and I wasn't very social with other people either. I didn't hang out with friends.

Until two months ago I lived in my parents basement. Now I'm living in my own apartment, I've got a ****ty job, but still, it's a job, and I'm getting more confident.

Three days ago I was convinced by my brother to come to this party (not that many people and everybody knew each other) and I got drunk. Really drunk. I've only ever been drunk 3-4 times (and never been to a party actually), so my experience with alcohol wasn't that great.

There was a few girls there, even though I was drunk I knew that they weren't very attractive. Still, there was a woman there, almost 30, who looked average (I've got high standards, some would probably rate her pretty high, I think) and in my drunk state I managed to get her to go for a walk with me. She a single mom, with a couple of years old son, lets say "Rupert", is his name.

It didn't take very long and we were soon back at the party. I have no idea what kind of stuff I said. Nothing very interesting, I'm sure. She was also somewhat drunk, not anywhere near as much as me though.

The night went on and I was getting bored as my drunk state was wearing off a bit. When I was just about to go home, that woman comes up to me and asks me to take her for another walk. Somehow I manage an more interesting conversation (I should also mention that she was even more drunk this time) and suddenly we were walking in the direction of my apartment, which wasn't very far away.

Well, while there, I "seduce" her and shortly thereafter I'm having sex for the first time in my life. It wasn't very good. I don't even remember half of it. I'm not even sure if I got to finish before she ended it. I'm sure I would have remembered that. Kind of sucks :(

She told me I was really good though, but I can't be sure, it could have been her drunkenness talking. Also, perhaps she wanted me to feel good since I'd just told her that I was a virgin before we started.

I don't know how long we'd been doing it, but she left pretty quickly after that we were done. During the act, she got a few text messages on her phone, which she immediately paid attention to, instead of me. :(

Anway, the next day I sent her a text message, telling her that I enjoyed what we had been doing and that she was a wonderful person.

She sent me a similar message and that was that.

My first time was awful, but at least I wasn't a virgin anymore, I guess?

Anyway, later that day she sends me a message, asking for my MSN.

I told her something like, "Not only do I have to be seduced by a horny [something], I also have to give her my MSN. But well, OK then..."

Her response: "Oh no, that's how you feel about it?"

I told her I was joking, that it was I who practically threw my self at her.

"Ok good :) I got a little worried there. What are you doing?"

Some time later, and in short, we have a good conversation on MSN (I'm pretty good at that, since I don't have to face the person I'm talking to). She told me she was sorry for "taking advantage" of me. We talked for about 3 hours. I'm being ****y and funny.

The next day I message her telling her that I want us to meet at my place again, to do some "talking". I was determined to have sex with her again, to have sex and actually remember things from it, as well as finish! I guess I felt a little bit hurt actually.

Her message: "Today I'll be quite busy and this week "Rupert" comes to stay here so I don't know when we can meet if I'm to be honest, but next saturday I'm going to "some event", we can meet there. Or, you can come to my place sometime this week after that "Rupert" has gone to bed. [I'd preferred not to go to her place, but ok then.]

I didn't message her back, waiting for her to message me back again instead.

The next day she writes:

"Do you work tomorrow? What times?"

I answer her and she writes:

"Ok, perhaps we can see each other tomorrow night if you have time, the will and aren't so tired :)"

I don't message her back. Later that night we have another conversation on MSN. I'm being ****y and funny, as before. Suddenly she asks me if she can come visit me tomorrow night [I thought: what happened to her son? Doesn't she have to look after him? Was it a lie? Is she getting a babysitter? I decided not to ask her about it, figuring I might upset her.]

I say something like: "Well, yeah, if you're going to be nice." And I tease her like that for a little bit. When I felt it was enough I changed subject, and pretty soon I said good night.

The next day I message her at 1 in the afternoon.

"So, you wanted to see me this evening."

"Hmm, yes, I think so :) If you're brave enough, and if I'm brave enough. :D"

"None of us bites, so I think it'll be alright. At my place? About at what time?"

"When do you have time?"

I lied and said I was busy until a certain time. She wrote:

"How about 7-8?"

"Ok, 7-8, I guess that would be ideal."

"I'm going to visit my mother so I can't come early."

I cleaned my apartment, myself, everything. I was all set. At 5 she sends me this:

"Right now it doesn't seem that I'm going to be back in "this place" until 9, is that to late for you?"

I guess I got mad. To me, that message looks like she's saying, "I don't really want to meet you, I was just joking around. That night I was drunk, we had sex, that was all. Leave me alone." We'd been up until 11 at night talking on MSN, why would 9 be to late for me? I'm sure she would have sent me another message around 9, saying "Unfortunately I can't come tonight, I'm too tired." Or some other lame excuse, just because she didn't want to see me. How was she able to know so certain that she was going to be late until 9? I think she figured that I would say: "yes, that's too late," and she would be able to say, "well, tomorrow then." And that day, she'd do about the same thing. And the next day. And the next day until I would give up.

I wrote: "Ok, I understand. Well, it's your loss. Bye."

That was horribly wrong was it?

She writes: "What?"

I don't answer her.

After a moment she writes me a pretty long message, saying she's with her mother and that she didn't know it was going to take so much time. She ends with "Bye yourself." I got the impression that she was almost relieved that I had called it off. I also think she was surprised that I managed to look though her lie about not being able to come 7-8, and she sort of panicked?

On the previous day, she told me she'd spent time with her mother. And now she's spending time with her again, from early afternoon until 9? To me, that seemed suspicious.

What do you think about this situation?

I'm not angry over this, sure, maybe I lost a real chance to have sex again, but because of that last message, I felt like I was wasting time, and I didn't want to continue wasting time since there's plenty of fish in the sea. Or so I hope.

Thanks for taking the time to read all this.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Love Ninja

Don Juan
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What gave you any indication that she wasn't just being honest with you?

Seems like you took her last text ULTRA personally!

Apologize to her PRONTO ... Tell her you had an awful day and seeing her was to be the highlight.

Then get your head on straight about your angry tendencies. That's really going to f*ck you up, over and over again.

If someone(anyone not just chicks), relates to you in way that you feel entitled to automatically respond in anger- take a moment before you respond and ask yourself if what you're about to do is going to help the situation.
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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Yeah, perhaps I should. Maybe I was a bit scared of meeting her while not drunk. The time is 8 here now, what should I message her?

NVM, I noticed you mentioned it already. I'll give it a try.
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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"Hey, I apologize ... I had a crap day at work and took it out on you. I'm going to handle that BS there first thing in the morning. Lets you and I get together Wednesday night at 8 ... you come and I'll 'Make it up too you :)'"
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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I already wrote her: I just want to say I'm sorry and that I am an idiot. It's been an horrible day at work and the only thing I had to look forward to was to see you. I got the impression that you didn't want to come here. I'm so sorry."

Was that ok?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Dude, you were a big man.

You took the high road... and women DO dig that.

Now, don't grovel... you apologized... don't concern yourself with whether she accepts it or not. Let it go. You apologized because that's not who you want to be ... not for her approval.

Take THAT stand ... and you'll get her back, and NOT be a ***** :)
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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It probably isn't going to help, having apologized now but at least I feel better.
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Dude, you're awesome.

Let it go. Let yourself off the hook.

She'll see you're genuine... DON'T GROVEL! EVER! LOL
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Larversurus

Don Juan
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Who knows, if I'm lucky she'll be standing on my doorstep at 9. 40 minutes until then.

Though I should have said I apoligize, not sorry, and left the idiot part out.
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Again, it's over...

Stay rooted in what you want now... not the past, or what you did.
Let that crap go.

If she doesn't not stop by or call ...DO NOT CALL HER OR TEXT HER TODAY!

And stop saying stuff like "I thought you didn't want to come over" ... stick with stuff about YOU.... "Had a bad day and reacted poorly" THAT'S IT!

Saying "you thought she didn't want to come" makes you sound like you need her approval.

Its a new moment... let it go. Be here and now.
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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Hey! Good news! She wrote me back!

"I can come on over now if you want. I've just arrived home. :)"

Oh man. If I'm getting laid tonight, it's all because of you ninja!
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Awesome, my friend!

Don't EVEN bring up what happened earlier. DROP IT!

IF she asks what happened at work tell her, while smiling "Nothing I can't handle with a simple conversation ... Right now I'm with you... How is your mom? How was your day? "

She will be like "Holy Crap!"

Smile dude... you can ALWAYS turn it around with sincerity.
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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Ninja. I am you forever grateful. Apologizing was the best thing I could do.

I'm so stupid.

She just left, after that we'd been hugging, kissing and touching eachother allover non stop. I still got her scent on my hands. The warmth between her legs was, wow!

She even gave me oralsex.

She didn't allow me to take of her pants however. Apparently she takes great joy in teaching me about sex and wants to take it slowly. Which is really frustrating, but I can handle it, I'm sure! :)

She just sent me this message: "How does it feel now then? Not as unreal like it did in Friday I hope? :) Hope you get to sleep more than one hour tonight. and that you sleep well. Good night. Warm hugs, [her name]"

Any suggestions on what I should text her back?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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AKA FLEX

Master Don Juan
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If she enjoys teaching you that much, say something like "looking forward to my next lesson." Seems like the whole virgin thing is working to your advantage with this chick; play it up.
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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Yeah, I did try and act (a little bit) more insecure than I really was. It's working really well.

Can I ask her if she wants to come over tomorrow as well? In that case, how do I do that?
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Ya! You Rock!

Tease her! Let her enjoy it!


Say "I really like the lessons ... but I feel like I need more advanced lessons, Ms. ??? Or are you afraid you might learn a thing or two...? :) "

Try that...
 

Larversurus

Don Juan
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The next day around 8.30 I sent her a message partly saying I liked the lessons and was looking forward to the next one, she sent me one back and said she took it as a complimant to be the one teaching me how to be close to a person. She also said it would take a while until we could meet again because her son was going to be with her this week. She already told me that, but she was with me this Monday? I guess he wasn't with her that day.

Anyway, later that night we talked a bit on MSN. I had set the MSN messenger to show me as offline, even though I was online, so I could see when she got on. She sent me a message, saying "And you're not online... too bad :(" and almost immidiately after she sent me a sms asking if I was still awake, and if I wanted to talk with her on MSN for a bit.

I waited 10 minutes before I got on and we talked for an hour or so. At the beginning she called me honey and things like that. She also said she'd been thinking about me that day when she and her son had visited her mother and was eating strawberries. We discussed jumping out of a plane with a parachute, and she remarked that if I tried it, she wouldn't want anything to happen to me.

I was actually tired and couldn't think of much to say so I told her I was tired from not having been able to sleep the night we'd been having sex and was going to bed.

She said good night and also wondered if we were going to talk on MSN the following night as well? I said, "I don't know, we'll see." And she wrote: "I hope that we do."

Today I waited until around 9 in the morning before I sent her a message: "I might want to get together with you tonight. When is "Rupert" asleep?"

She wrote back almost immidiately "Oh, that's nice. I guess around 8, I'll call you when he's asleep."

So, in 4 hours I'll be going to her apartment. Hopefully to have sex. However I don't know what we're going to talk about. I've never been a good conversonalist. With the small age difference between us it's even harder to think of something. Right now it just feels like I'm going to end up sitting there, saying nothing all night, and maybe not have sex! That would be bad. I'm real nervous about not have anything to say.

What should I do?
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
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Dude, firstly, you're doing great and you're enough...

DO NOT bring up the age thing, or ANY short coming you perceive about you, her, OR the relationship.

If SHE brings any of that up... make a quick joke about it, and change the subject.

You'll be fine... you're doing great.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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