Did I handle this right?

[Leaf]

I got LJBF a while back. Between then and now I essentially self improved. She somehow got back in my life and before you know it we were part of group road trips and the likes. We got back to our flirtatious selves and she was literally throwing herself at me. It was so apparent her friends were noting it and warning her.

I stupidly let my guard down and let those feels get back to me. Out one night together as part of a social gathering, she started chatting me up and but then mid conversation she started talking to some other guy and totally blew me off. I chilled for a bit then left. I mingled and started chatting up others. Ended up getting cosy with another girl and this one gave me the full blown arctic circle cold shoulder for the rest of the night. This of which when I asked her about it later she said was nothing and she did not remember it apologizing.

I tried to meet up after a few days to talk about ^ but she was beating around the bush before we ended up calling each other. Talked it out how we know we have our boundaries from previously etc and how friends were curious quizzing about what was going between us etc etc how she was loving it was good we were finally chatting again after ages time not.

She then went on with the 'balls in your court' spiel and I continued the conversation and seemed the gist felt like it was back to being just friends but no, I essentially said lets leave it be and that I will catch her around university if we do and wishing she had a great rest of her holidays. This had her fumbling for words before we finished our call.

The old me would have hung around, hoping of something to happen with time. I guess me now though refuses to be 'that' guy. Sometimes you just can't have your cake and eat it.

 

[marmel75]

You never should have brought up her behavior towards you when she gave you the cold shoulder. Once you did that, she won as it was obvious to her what you wanted and how you felt about her.

Then you doubled down by trying to meet her to "talk about it" and even tripled down by doing it over the phone.

Never do this again. You don't talk to them about things like this you show them how you feel by your actions. I'm with Espi, you needed to make a move at some point. You needed to show her that behaviour effected you in no way.

Trying to talk to her 3 times about this comes off as weak and makes you look inexperienced and clueless when it comes to women. None of those are pvssy tingling traits.