"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Did I get friend-zoned or what?

logarithm

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Hello, guys!
Since this is my first post here, I'll start with a brief introduction (i.e. feel free to skip the next paragraph).

I'm in my mid-twenties and got interested in all this "game" stuff few moths ago when I blew up a great opportunity with an amazing belly dancer chick in a salsa club (I was having lots of fun for several hours with her and then just had no idea what to do next). After that I read "THE GAME" book and few of the newbie threads on this forum. I devoted my summer to improve my social skills and boldness. I don't want to go through the tons of information here, because I feel that the rock-star self-confidence, big smile and lack of shyness pay off good enough, without confusing me with questionable routines and tricks. I respect a lot all of the opinions here and your efforts for continuously helping others, it's just that I think that reading too much stuff is going to influence me in a negative way.

Now let's get to the point - I got back from USA to my home country for the summer and have few more weeks to stay here. I picked up one hot chick (~30 y/o), dated for a while 2 others (they were ~20 y/o, kinda too young for me) and eventually got a date with arguably the most beautiful salsa girl in town (~25 y/o). We went on two dates last week and at least until the second one she looked genuinely interested - sexy clothes, shiny stuff on her body, flirty TXTs, you know... However, in the middle of the second date, when we were sitting on a bench in the park, I got extremely nervous and lost my cool. At the end I didn't kiss her, said lots of stupid sKit and got back home. 3 days later we went again on a date - this time she wasn't wearing sexy clothes and lots of the vibe was gone. At some point we again got to some bench in a park and sat there. I was still nervous, let her talk a lot about her girlish philosophy and just cracked some jokes here and there. This is what happened then:

-"Name" - I grabbed her neck from behind and went on to kiss her. She replied very briefly to that, it was just a few seconds kiss.
-What are you doing?
-I'm kissing you, isn't it obvious? - I kissed her again in the same way.
-You should stop doing this, you may start to like it.
-I think I already like it. - one more small 3-seconds kiss on the lips.
Then the disaster began:
-This is not going anywhere. You are leaving for USA. I don't want to start to like you. I have a heart. Blah-blah-blah.
I had no idea what to do next, so was just listening to her and trying to cheer up the atmosphere with stupid jokes. At the end she hugged me, rubbed my back (I felt like a puppy, kinda humiliating I guess) and that's it.

Since then we attended one party (greeted her there, but ignored her for the rest of the night) and I also went to 2 of her salsa-classes this week (she is a very good instructor). I guess I'm already deeply friend-zoned, but want to remain cool before her and maybe try again some time in the future. Tonight I'm even going out with a very pretty MILF (~40 y/o), but I'm still thinking about that salsa chick and feel like I've lost my focus. Any comments or help will be greatly appreciated:)

Cheers and have fun!
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Purefilth

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Friend zone - next
 

logarithm

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Just went all the way with the cougar, feel MUCH better now:)
Purefilth, thanks for the reply - these three words always help.
I'm still wondering though if I have any chance with the salsa girl and what should do in order to pull it of eventually (even in a few months time, when get back again here).
 

Mr.SomeoneElse

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I don't understand..
You went on two days without kissing her?
Then finally did on the third?
Even for guys who aren't in the game, the general rule is to sleep with the guy by the third date.

I think you need to definitely escalate quicker for the future.
It sounds like you were in your head a lot, putting her on a pedestal, stop thinking of her as the 'hottest girl' and start getting out of your head so much.
I used to be the same way, when I was out with hot chicks i'd have no problem flirting with them getting them out on dates etc,, then when they started showing interest back, or the time came for a situation i'd freeze up because I was shocked she was actually interested.
You've gotta stop this!
Just because she's in a pretty package it doesn't mean ****. Get out of your head, stop being a wuss.

Also, reading into the situation further, you noticed you made jokes
This is great, girls love jokes. but dont overdue it. It sounds like stuff didnt go well and you were trying to be funny and make light of the situation, which just makes you look weaker.
TO many jokes and girls will start to pick up on insecurity.
Don't over think this, just as a rule of thumb, if you're looking for a joke out of something, it probably wasn't meant to be found/told, just be natural.


To me it sounds like you're friend zoned pretty deep. If you still see her often, I think you have to do something unpredictable, and try and bring up the sexual tension. Make kino and do something bold
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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logarithm

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Thank you for the replies, guys.
I'm ~25, leaving for USA in mid-August and coming back for the winter break. The girl on the other hand said is leaving town for some time at the end of July.
 
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nismo-4

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From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Good job on the milf, but your other belly dancer princess is in another castle.
 
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