"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Did I get friend-zoned or what?

logarithm

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Hello, guys!
Since this is my first post here, I'll start with a brief introduction (i.e. feel free to skip the next paragraph).

I'm in my mid-twenties and got interested in all this "game" stuff few moths ago when I blew up a great opportunity with an amazing belly dancer chick in a salsa club (I was having lots of fun for several hours with her and then just had no idea what to do next). After that I read "THE GAME" book and few of the newbie threads on this forum. I devoted my summer to improve my social skills and boldness. I don't want to go through the tons of information here, because I feel that the rock-star self-confidence, big smile and lack of shyness pay off good enough, without confusing me with questionable routines and tricks. I respect a lot all of the opinions here and your efforts for continuously helping others, it's just that I think that reading too much stuff is going to influence me in a negative way.

Now let's get to the point - I got back from USA to my home country for the summer and have few more weeks to stay here. I picked up one hot chick (~30 y/o), dated for a while 2 others (they were ~20 y/o, kinda too young for me) and eventually got a date with arguably the most beautiful salsa girl in town (~25 y/o). We went on two dates last week and at least until the second one she looked genuinely interested - sexy clothes, shiny stuff on her body, flirty TXTs, you know... However, in the middle of the second date, when we were sitting on a bench in the park, I got extremely nervous and lost my cool. At the end I didn't kiss her, said lots of stupid sKit and got back home. 3 days later we went again on a date - this time she wasn't wearing sexy clothes and lots of the vibe was gone. At some point we again got to some bench in a park and sat there. I was still nervous, let her talk a lot about her girlish philosophy and just cracked some jokes here and there. This is what happened then:

-"Name" - I grabbed her neck from behind and went on to kiss her. She replied very briefly to that, it was just a few seconds kiss.
-What are you doing?
-I'm kissing you, isn't it obvious? - I kissed her again in the same way.
-You should stop doing this, you may start to like it.
-I think I already like it. - one more small 3-seconds kiss on the lips.
Then the disaster began:
-This is not going anywhere. You are leaving for USA. I don't want to start to like you. I have a heart. Blah-blah-blah.
I had no idea what to do next, so was just listening to her and trying to cheer up the atmosphere with stupid jokes. At the end she hugged me, rubbed my back (I felt like a puppy, kinda humiliating I guess) and that's it.

Since then we attended one party (greeted her there, but ignored her for the rest of the night) and I also went to 2 of her salsa-classes this week (she is a very good instructor). I guess I'm already deeply friend-zoned, but want to remain cool before her and maybe try again some time in the future. Tonight I'm even going out with a very pretty MILF (~40 y/o), but I'm still thinking about that salsa chick and feel like I've lost my focus. Any comments or help will be greatly appreciated:)

Cheers and have fun!
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Purefilth

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Friend zone - next
 

logarithm

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Just went all the way with the cougar, feel MUCH better now:)
Purefilth, thanks for the reply - these three words always help.
I'm still wondering though if I have any chance with the salsa girl and what should do in order to pull it of eventually (even in a few months time, when get back again here).
 

Mr.SomeoneElse

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I don't understand..
You went on two days without kissing her?
Then finally did on the third?
Even for guys who aren't in the game, the general rule is to sleep with the guy by the third date.

I think you need to definitely escalate quicker for the future.
It sounds like you were in your head a lot, putting her on a pedestal, stop thinking of her as the 'hottest girl' and start getting out of your head so much.
I used to be the same way, when I was out with hot chicks i'd have no problem flirting with them getting them out on dates etc,, then when they started showing interest back, or the time came for a situation i'd freeze up because I was shocked she was actually interested.
You've gotta stop this!
Just because she's in a pretty package it doesn't mean ****. Get out of your head, stop being a wuss.

Also, reading into the situation further, you noticed you made jokes
This is great, girls love jokes. but dont overdue it. It sounds like stuff didnt go well and you were trying to be funny and make light of the situation, which just makes you look weaker.
TO many jokes and girls will start to pick up on insecurity.
Don't over think this, just as a rule of thumb, if you're looking for a joke out of something, it probably wasn't meant to be found/told, just be natural.


To me it sounds like you're friend zoned pretty deep. If you still see her often, I think you have to do something unpredictable, and try and bring up the sexual tension. Make kino and do something bold
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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logarithm

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Thank you for the replies, guys.
I'm ~25, leaving for USA in mid-August and coming back for the winter break. The girl on the other hand said is leaving town for some time at the end of July.
 
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nismo-4

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From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Good job on the milf, but your other belly dancer princess is in another castle.
 
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