"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Did I fu*k up beyond repair?

Meisterman

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If a girl you're dating for 4 months goes cold suddenly, flakes out and doesn't call/text....then you call her out on her flaking (not in a mad way, just acknowkedging it) and she still doesn't respond to that....Is there any possible way to salvage this? I feel like NC is literally my only option after sending the latest text-bomb with no reply. Which I'm now regretting but we were dating for 4 months and she went cold suddenly and at that point I felt I had nothing to lose since she stopped texting anyway. We have a couple mutual friends I could talk to but I doubt it would help. I don't have bitter feelings toward her, but I feel like she may see me as bitter and butthurt and even less likely to reach out now. I said some sh*t I probably shouldn't have in the text, and I feel like sh*t and feel I ruined any possible chance to save anything between us, even friendship without being extremely awkward and uncomfortable next time we meet. Help me out here.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Fireballs

Master Don Juan
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From the limited information here, I would not contact her again. Ever. Also remember before you hit that send button on your phone, sleep on it. You will be glad in the morning that you didn't send what you were going to send. Some people may think this is stupid but another thing I do is ask myself ''What would James Bond/George Clooney do here?'' I find it helps alot when your emotions are trying to take over.

The question you should be asking yourself is ''What did I do during the relationship to make her interest level drop so much?''

Did you fail too many sh!t tests, become needy, insecure, jealous?

Keeping a girl is constant work and women are so self destructive in relationships that it can be hard to not beta backslide. They are always trying to turn you into a qualifying beta and try to turn you into a needy little b!tch so that they can get more of your attention, even though that also decreases their attraction for you.
 

Leprechaun2013

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Meisterman said:
If a girl you're dating for 4 months goes cold suddenly, flakes out and doesn't call/text....then you call her out on her flaking (not in a mad way, just acknowkedging it) and she still doesn't respond to that....Is there any possible way to salvage this?
She isn't responding to anything you do, let her fly away, while you find someone new. She's lost attraction, there's really nothing you can do with this one.
 

Meisterman

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Fireballs said:
From the limited information here, I would not contact her again. Ever. Also remember before you hit that send button on your phone, sleep on it. You will be glad in the morning that you didn't send what you were going to send. Some people may think this is stupid but another thing I do is ask myself ''What would James Bond/George Clooney do here?'' I find it helps alot when your emotions are trying to take over.

The question you should be asking yourself is ''What did I do during the relationship to make her interest level drop so much?''

Did you fail too many sh!t tests, become needy, insecure, jealous?

Keeping a girl is constant work and women are so self destructive in relationships that it can be hard to not beta backslide. They are always trying to turn you into a qualifying beta and try to turn you into a needy little b!tch so that they can get more of your attention, even though that also decreases their attraction for you.
I agree about sleeping on a text before you send it. The only thing is it has been almost a month of her flaking and breaking contact. Yet I would see her in person occasionally and she would walk up and hug me and wave to me when she sees me driving etc. And also plan hang outs but totally ignore when the time came. Basically at this point my blood was boiling from all the cumulative flakes, and I thought calling her out on it would make me feel better, because the first few times she flaked I played it cool and acted friendly. It didn't help and only made it worse. It's grade A cringe material in the memory bank now. Oh well.

Imagine a giant disco ball shattered in a hundred pieces. It's all but worthless, unless you still have all the pieces and are an absolute expert at putting it back together, I suppose it may be salvageable or at least respectable. However after that last text, it was like grinding the disco ball into pixie dust, followed by getting a leaf blower and blowing the microscopic pieces into a giant ocean, and then trying to re-create the disco ball by getting the individual specks out and putting it back together with scotch tape. That's basically where I'm at right now.

I regret it but I probably wouldn't have learned had I not done it. I thought it would help me move on. Instead all it does is force me to move on, big difference. Because until this point she thought I was still cool with her, still being the nice guy, etc. It sucks cuz I kinda liked her as a friend too but now the last thing she'll remember me as was the dude who flipped out and was overly sensitive to her flaking on me. I know she checks my fb even though we're not friends (or has), so I could try that way...but as of now I deleted her name and number from my phone and don't have any plans or anything left to say to her. It sucks but I suppose it's too late for redemption now. :|
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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hudpes

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Meisterman said:
because the first few times she flaked I played it cool and acted friendly
There's your problem right there. Like fireballs said, would Clooney/Bond act like that on a girl that flakes on them? A dubious proposal at best. Flake -> NC.

The disco ball is a structure that your ego has built and now it's hurt because it turned to dust, and ego is hurt most when it's helpless, when any action can only make things worse. You are not forced to go on by external events, you go on, because the flow of time never stops, it's just that the ego has to let go of the disco ball and the plans that derived from it.

narcissist said:
Focus on inner game. Forget this girl.
This is it.
 

Meisterman

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hudpes said:
There's your problem right there. Like fireballs said, would Clooney/Bond act like that on a girl that flakes on them? A dubious proposal at best. Flake -> NC.

The disco ball is a structure that your ego has built and now it's hurt because it turned to dust, and ego is hurt most when it's helpless, when any action can only make things worse. You are not forced to go on by external events, you go on, because the flow of time never stops, it's just that the ego has to let go of the disco ball and the plans that derived from it.



This is it.
Thanks.
 
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