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Did i force myself on her?

MountainSlide

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I remember when I was younger and dumber and I always thought it was finding the right words though lol
 

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ShePays

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I don’t really know what you mean here? Seduction is tone of voice + body language, then touch.
I mean that if there is no desire prior to touch, no attraction has been established, seduction is being relied on to establish desire. I don't mean that touch is the only element of seduction, only that triggering powerful physiological responses(or just attempting to, by the clumsy), when no prior attraction has been established, will end in regret, more often than not, once those physiological responses are back under the power of conscious control. Men regret giving into women they're better off resisting, too, but men have zero cultural support for failing to resist our primal urges. Short-circuiting a woman's conscious resistance is a cultural gray area, at best. You want her hoping you call her the next morning, not wishing she hadn't been so weak, nor even wondering if she was technically "raped."
 

Shashank

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Yea.... you went too far. You really need to get better at reading women. You are not a monster, you just miss-read the signals she was sending out. You need to learn from this, but don't beat yourself up. Another chick at another time what you were doing wouldn't be a problem.

Seduction is a step by step process... bit by bit you escalate... if at any time in this gradual process she does not reciprocate, or she pulls back... you stop. Sounds like you were moving along and didn't really notice she was resisting. Many younger women will not say anything if you cross a line until you have completely destroyed the encounter... then you're done forever. No problem, there are 3 billion women in the world... go get practice.
yeah ..at that time the way she behaved made me think she was completely into me...she probably doesnt even know that at that time that she was into me i guess.....or maybe she is extroverted....i learnt that some girls just smile when they are nervous maybe she is one of such rare kind. or maybe she liked what i did at that time...cos even after i did those things after my exams once i went home she used to text me every freaking day n used to talk so good when i called but that is bcos she is extroverted i guess.
 

Shashank

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Geez, let me guess, India.

You see boy, that girl likes to be touched and she is really down for sex, she would like to try it all. That don't mean you went the right way for it, because if you did, you'd fck her.

Once she moved back to her city it's not not ok for that type of behaviour. It's a slut defence.

Relax. She's not gonna tell anyone about anything. Realize you suck at touching women because everything has to have a purpose, in your case purpose is sex. Rearl to get layed. Realize it's not your fault she is having a slut defence in her home city. Partly it is of course, because she don't want that type of behaviour around where she lives.

No big deal.
it is not where her parents live but she used to text me everyday even after i touched her n ****....even after i did all those let's assume she didn't like them then when i was leaving that city she gave a full body hug to me not a friendly hug...n texted me everyday since then ....she said," Shashank i will forget whatever happened here but i am giving u another chance n when i reach hyderabad we will be frnds n don't touch me" even after this i touched her slightly in a sexual way after cmng here....she said yesterday u blew ur chances....i never faced this kinda situation before so i didn't know how to react n also bcos of ur exams i couldn't say anything to u cos u might get depressed.
 
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Shashank

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Not really, you didn't know she didn't like it and you were too incompetent to understand her very subtle signals. You'd be in the wrong if you knew she didn't like it but proceeded anyways.

So what's happening here is that she feels taken advantage of and you didn't intend to do that, it's a misunderstanding.

So for next time, if she doesn't reciprocate just stop. Smiling is not enough of a signal she's into it, she's just being too polite. You'd probably want a woman to touch you back anyways. She learned her lesson, now you should learn yours.

You could tell her you didn't intend to take advantage of her, that you didn't know, that you're sorry you made her feel that way and that you'll leave her alone from now on.
yeah i apologized sincerely n said i would never do those things again but she didn't accept me as a frnd n i didn't expect her to ...so we just blocked each other and that is it....but i imagined very badly about her n now i came to know that she is not that kind of a girl she is just young and friendly with everyone...and says everyone is our frnd treat them good ....i can't live with the fact that i just molested this girl man
 

Shashank

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True enough........

But let me add, knowing when to initiate contact is where the smoothness comes in, its reading her and then having the balls to make a move at the right time, which is why the OP did what he did, he just did it the wrong way, it was weird and awkward for her which is why he got the response he got.

It's not about building enough attraction to make her wanna initiate physical contact, though, me and you both know it happens and I agree on that point, but, it's more about knowing when to escalate physically.

Me personally? I like to build the anticipation and tease them a little bit by making small moves like I'm going for it then stop and start doing something else, but when I feel that vibe I go for it. Maybe she would off initiated physical contact maybe not but I dont care, I take the lead and make the move.
bro if she didn't like what i did then y did she text me everyday after that .... im bull****ting myself ...cos what she said is that she expected me to change when she gets back to my city n i would behave better but when i touched her again here it just made her lose all the hope she had ....i feel terrible .... i just cant imagine what she had to go through.....she is a good girl cos when we said goodbye to each other she told me...." dont get disturbed by this n don't disturb me" .....if i look back i can only see all the days where she was so nice to me n friendly n i just did things that just makes me wanna loathe myself....but she still talked to me when i asked her yesterday....she went inside to keep her bag n i thought she would never come back but she came just in a minute ....she talked n listened...her eyes were watery ....all she was with we is kindness i just thought just bcos she gave a full body hug to me she was interested in me....but now i realize what i have done...she had no one n came back to me n i just did **** again and again....what does it make me?
 

Serenity

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i can't live with the fact that i just molested this girl man
As I said, you didn't mean to. You've done all you can do about this, now forgive yourself and move on. You can't undo what you've done, you can only make sure that the next time you'll stop if a girl isn't reciprocating.

She isn't without blame, she should have told you no. This happened because both of you were idiots, it's not all your fault.
 
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Prettyboy Dee

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bro if she didn't like what i did then y did she text me everyday after that .... im bull****ting myself ...cos what she said is that she expected me to change when she gets back to my city n i would behave better but when i touched her again here it just made her lose all the hope she had ....i feel terrible .... i just cant imagine what she had to go through.....she is a good girl cos when we said goodbye to each other she told me...." dont get disturbed by this n don't disturb me" .....if i look back i can only see all the days where she was so nice to me n friendly n i just did things that just makes me wanna loathe myself....but she still talked to me when i asked her yesterday....she went inside to keep her bag n i thought she would never come back but she came just in a minute ....she talked n listened...her eyes were watery ....all she was with we is kindness i just thought just bcos she gave a full body hug to me she was interested in me....but now i realize what i have done...she had no one n came back to me n i just did **** again and again....what does it make me?
I dont know if your trolling or not but let it go bro, all the mental distress is not needed, pick ya head up and move forward, I haven't been here long but I'm sure you know my motto by now right?

"TALK TO MORE GIRLS" *Prettyboy Dee*
 

MrWood

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*rapey vibe*
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Yea.... you went too far. You really need to get better at reading women. You are not a monster, you just miss-read the signals she was sending out. You need to learn from this, but don't beat yourself up. Another chick at another time what you were doing wouldn't be a problem.

Seduction is a step by step process... bit by bit you escalate... if at any time in this gradual process she does not reciprocate, or she pulls back... you stop. Sounds like you were moving along and didn't really notice she was resisting. Many younger women will not say anything if you cross a line until you have completely destroyed the encounter... then you're done forever. No problem, there are 3 billion women in the world... go get practice.
+1

Women need to say no, stop, pull back etc. There's a lot of false accusations in the west and uk. The common theme is regret and not getting the ring. Being rapey is not ok. Obv. The entire thing is nuanced. Less than spectacular.
 

ShePays

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I remember when I was younger and dumber and I always thought it was finding the right words though lol
Everything matters...but whether word selection, tone of voice, movements, gestures, eye contact, etc are conscious and tortuously managed or natural and effortless is entirely dependent on who you are, and whether you need work, and how much work you need.

For some guys, just getting through a date is a Hell of 10 thousand little decisions, like playing a TV quiz show, where the grand prize is getting laid, and the consolation prize is humiliation and frustration. That's because they're playing a part they feel miscast in, like Don Knotts trying to pull off the role of Rhett Butler, and trying to tame the reluctant Scarlett O'Hara.

Blame the modem world for being too soft, and breeding and accommodating boys who can reach adulthood without ever having to fight for anything. Too many spend their lives without sweat, discomfort, hunger, or struggle. No-one misses a meal. Everyone is taught to read. No-one is left out of any activity. Everyone gets a trophy. Nobody loses....except in the mating game.

The problem is men and women don't really want the same thing out of sex, no matter how socially engineered and adaptable women are to it, women are still maternal, because maternity is reproduction, and reproduction is power and eternity. Men feel the power and eternity through conquest and ejaculation. The female equivalent is childbirth, though. If every time a man had sex with a woman, he shot a 10 lb baby out of his di ck that looked just like the woman he just had sex with, we might be a little more selective, ourselves.

Anyway, it really isn't rocket science, just the opposite. Either just be 100% whoever you already are, no improvement necessary, no apologies needed, and be 100% comfortable in your own skin....and be happy with the type of women the who you are can attract. Otherwise, if you feel you deserve better, BECOME better....no masks, no act, just a new and improved YOU. Takes w o r k, if that's what's called for. No-one likes to hear that part. Everyone wants magic words.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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Everything matters...but whether word selection, tone of voice, movements, gestures, eye contact, etc are conscious and tortuously managed or natural and effortless is entirely dependent on who you are, and whether you need work, and how much work you need.

For some guys, just getting through a date is a Hell of 10 thousand little decisions, like playing a TV quiz show, where the grand prize is getting laid, and the consolation prize is humiliation and frustration. That's because they're playing a part they feel miscast in, like Don Knotts trying to pull off the role Rhett Butler, and trying to tame the reluctant Scarlett O'Hara.

Blame the modem world for being too soft, and breeding and accommodating boys who can reach adulthood without ever having to fight for anything. Too many spend their lives without sweat, discomfort, hunger, or struggle. No-one misses a meal. Everyone is taught to read. No-one is left out of any activity. Everyone gets a trophy. Nobody loses....except in the mating game.

The problem is men and women don't really want the same thing out of sex, no matter how socially engineered and adaptable women are to it, women are still maternal, because maternity is reproduction, and reproduction is power and eternity. Men feel the power and eternity through conquest and ejaculation. The female equivalent is childbirth, though. If every time a man had sex with a woman, he shot a 10 lb baby out of his **** that looked just like the woman he just had sex with, we might be a little more selective, ourselves.

Anyway, it really isn't rocket science, just the opposite. Either just be 100% whoever you already are, no improvement necessary, no apologies needed, and be 100% comfort in your own skin....and be happy with the type of women the who you are can attract. Otherwise, if you feel you deserve better, BECOME better....no masks, no act, just a new and improved YOU. Takes, if that's what's called for. No-one likes to hear that part. Everyone wants magic words.
Good Post.

YouTube Emily Hartridge. YouTuber. UK jenna marble. Attention *****. On the CC. Wakes up at 30 to realize she's near infertile. Dies on a ebike going to fertility clinic.

There's too much stupid today.
 
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ShePays

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+1

Women need to say no, stop, pull back etc. There's a lot of false accusations in the west and uk. The common theme is regret and not getting the ring. Being rapey is not ok. Obv. The entire thing is nuanced. Less than spectacular.
The trouble is that women are weak. They may not say NO because they're impaired, swept away in the moment (overtaken by physiological responses to touch), intimated(because they were brainwashed to think that saying NO to the special ed student is "discrimination"), or whatever. Sure, some women are just malicious and vindictive, but to the extent that the power of avoiding having sex with a woman, when morning-after regrets are predictable, keep it on your pants....unless you want to risk discovering what the phrase "homosexuality isn't a choice" means inside a corrective institution.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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The trouble is that women are weak. They may not say NO because they're impaired, swept away in the moment (overtaken by physiological responses to touch), intimated(because they were brainwashed to think that saying NO to the special ed student is "discrimination"), or whatever. Sure, some women are just malicious and vindictive, but to the extent that the power of avoiding having sex with a woman, when morning-after regrets are predictable, keep it on your pants....unless you want to risk discovering what the phrase "homosexuality isn't a choice" means inside a corrective institution.
That's not an argument.

No, stop, or pull back. Not 30 yrs later with ridiculous time line like that crazy in the kavanagh case.

Can't get the ring. Insert false rapey accusations.

You wut mate?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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You have recieved some great advice. Girls can give some mixed signals. Keep studying
Agreed however, there's a comedian. He got a throater and she made false accusations after his proteins did the backstroke in her digestive tract.

Op should exercise common sense but women are getting crazier these days.
 

stormrider

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*rapey vibe*
This.

Everyone is debating about touch, signs of interest, etc. But it's all about vibe. You're supposed to carry a cool and attractive vibe and you pull women into that vibe.

Just by looking at the op's incessant apologies and regrets and supplicating behavior (omggggg she is such a nice girl! im just a horrible human being! cut off my balls now and lock me up!), I can tell he has a weird and creepy vibe when it comes time to escalating sexually.

She is simply turned off by your vibe and rationalizing that it was your touch, but it's actually your vibe. In all likelyhood she WAS giving you signals but didn't expect you to be so amateurish about it.

Don't ever ask women what you did wrong. They will just give you backwards rationalizations.

She felt creeped out first by your creepy vibe and inexperience, then she backwards rationalized it was your touch.

She could have also felt attracted by your cool vibe and rationalize it was your touch that turned her on, lmao.

Work on your vibe. Have a sense of appreciation for the woman in front of you. She should feel as if the sun is shining on her when she is in your presence. This will make her want bask in your presence and surrender herself physically to you and have you completely ravish her.

You're too focused on technicalities and seduction and incapable of being in the moment and simply enjoying the girl in front of you, and it throws off your vibe and makes you look like you have ulterior motives.

Basically you are not cool around chicks. No amount of calibration is going to make a difference until you learn how to have fun in the moment and become outcome independent.

When you truly enjoy yourself independent of any woman or outcome = when you have the best vibe, women are drawn to your presence, and sex just happens as a way to cap off the moment, and not as a means to an end.
 
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