Did I F up?

[gettinit]

I have been texting with a pretty hot girl for a couple of months and was on two dates. Married (basically roommates and discussing separation). First date, kiss close, told me she had an amazing time. 2nd date. Practically dragged me into her car, hot make out and fingering. Before leaving, I pointed at the hotel across the street and told her that we could make good use of the place and it would be fun to see if we could get black listed. She replied with something like "that could be fun"
Third date set up about a week in advance. She is yet another busy one (I seem attract those). She also had some recent back issues but was feeling better.

Here is our conversation:
Me: Hey! Lets have a private party this week. How does Wed look for you?
HB: I'm at a family thing and we can talk about next week tomorrow
ME: OK, have a good time.
Next day
HB: The party was great. I got to catch up with cousins that i rarely see. My back is acting up again though.
Me: Maybe we should just hang out. I wouldn't want to be responsible for putting you in a back brace.
HB: LOL just a little tinge here and there.
A few banter texts
Me: In any case, lets wait and see how you feel. Options: Drinks, a therapeutic massage, throw all caution to the wind or a combo of the above.
HB: All sound good
Me: Yes, they do. Wed around 7 work?
HB: That sounds good.
Me OK, I'll let you know where.

Kept contact to a few light texts over the following days. We had a little snow the day of the date. Nothing major and it had stopped a good 5 hours before the set time. No word from her, the roads looked good, so I booked a room. About 3 hours before meet time, I texted her:

Me: lets meet at ******* for "A" drink. 7 still good? (Same spot as before)
HB: I'm not going out in this. Everybody knows that I don't drive in the snow and would never make plans when it was snowing.
HB: Sorry hon, I thought that you wouldn't want to go out because of the snow.
ME (about an hour later, not wanting to sound butt hurt) No harm done, I made other plans and am heading out in a bit. The roads are actually good.

Here is where I'm pretty sure that I f-ed up.
about an hour later:
Me: Just for the record, Although I completely understand you cancelling and I would never want you to be in a situation that you thought was dangerous, I'm the kind of person that assumes that plans are in place unless I hear otherwise. Again, no harm done, but I was about to book a place to warm each other up, before I sent you the where message. Dodged that one. There is a positive in everything..

About 4 hours later:
HB: I understand
HB: looking back, I don't see any plans that required a hotel room reservation
HB: So definitely a good thing that you double checked
HB: Hope you are enjoying the cold. Going to sleep. Talk with you later

Honestly, a few things bugged me. First I hate the term hon and have told her that in a nice way. Second, she works from home and had all day to send a 10 second text to cancel. Third, I thought that the intentions were pretty clear and I read her "all sound good" regarding "options" as a green light. Obviously, I was wrong. I probably should have left well enough alone, at least until I slept with her, but wanted to make it clear that I don't like being treated like that going forward.

So, any thoughts on my next move?

Do I have one? lol

Edit: I was thinking of sending:
Yeah, it was just an option and that's why I waited and was going to touch on that, depending on your reply.

 

[teebear]

Not a lost cause at all but...

You were mistaken to assume that you had plans. The "that sounds good" comment, while encouraging, is not the same as "see you there".

You were halfway there though; you had a time, but not a place. Finalizing plans three hours before the date is insufficient notice for most women, IME.

I think that you still have a chance to plate her but you're in danger of appearing needy. I'd lay low for a few days and then resume contact with something fun and light.

 

[Reykhel]

I have been texting with a pretty hot girl

Waiting for Patrick the troll aka @RichardTheFrog to come chiming in with "PROVE SHE WAS HOT WITH SOME HOT WOMAN PICTURES!!!!!"

Married

Yes you fvcked up.

First I hate the term hon and have told her that in a nice way.

she's an annoying cvnt.

She is yet another busy one (I seem attract those). She also had some recent back issues but was feeling better.

This is low interest and low interest. The back excuse is a nice get out of jail free card....a ready made excuse.

 

[marmel75]

This was a little clumsy. Too much bantering about this...made it seem like you have no idea how to get a woman into the bedroom and were looking for her to do the work for you.

Don't talk about that type of stuff outside of the moment, at least not with a woman you havent already done that with. That's something you bring up while things are hot and heavy that wont give her a chance to change her mind over how ever many days she had to think about it.

Learn from the mistake and dont repeat it next time. It sucks but once you go through enough of these you'll figure out how do this.

 

[dude99]

Sounds like a married girl whos marriage is falling appart and looking for attention and validation.

Is she the only girl you are seeing?

 

[gettinit]

No, she is not the only one that I am seeing. One other. No oneitis here. I just want to keep learning the correct approach, or in this case, best recovery. She is actually a fun chick and we have a great time when together.
Her marriage was over long ago and she gets plenty of attention outside of me. Lots of orbiters and that is a fate that I am trying to avoid.
As far as the clumsy, after looking at it, I could have done better and as I had said, I should have left well enough alone.

Any ideas on how to right the ship or at least slow the flooding?
Do you think that I may have triggered her slut defense?

 

[dude99]

No, she is not the only one that I am seeing. One other. No oneitis here. I just want to keep learning the correct approach, or in this case, best recovery. She is actually a fun chick and we have a great time when together.
Her marriage was over long ago and she gets plenty of attention outside of me. Lots of orbiters and that is a fate that I am trying to avoid.
As far as the clumsy, after looking at it, I could have done better and as I had said, I should have left well enough alone.

Any ideas on how to right the ship or at least slow the flooding?
Do you think that I may have triggered her slut defense?

Could be.

I would just play it cool. Put her on the back burner for a week, spin your other plate them contact her in a week try to make plans, and just act normal. Spend your attention on her wisely.

If she goes weird then next her. If you play it cool should be ok.

 

[gettinit]

Before I go on, I appreciate and have read your advice. I know her text style and her last reply was not good. She also has a stellar BS meter that i have seen in action (not me). So don't address this at all?
If I were to address it (and at this point am leaning not to) Thoughts on the below?

No, we didn't have solid plans for a room. It seemed like an option though. After all, a drinking establishment isn't the best place for a therapeutic massage... Just a typical text misunderstanding.

Add something short and fun here.

It is the truth. Does that EVER work?

 

[teebear]

This woman sounds intelligent and like she has good self esteem. I wouldn't try to game her much, if at all.

That said, a little "Beta game" might save the day. Your player cred is well established; now might be the time to dial it down a notch and propose a dinner date or something to reset the interaction. Her ASD has been triggered, most likely.

I wouldn't invest heavily in this relationship though. I don't think you're playing from a position of strength.

 

[RangerMIke]

She's married... Look I'm not making any morality calls here, but this is not going to end well for anyone. Just tell her to let you know when she is done with being married, otherwise you have other fish to fry. Right now you are just an emotional tampon... she likes the attention.

If you are going to mess around with married chicks then you have to let them come to you. You let her know you are interested, but leave it completely up to her when and how that happens. You can not plan ANYTHING... it happens when she is available, which leaves you waiting around like a chick... but that is the way it has to be if you are going to dance in this wild dog pit.

 

[Mazer]

I tried canceling a first date with woman due to inclement weather just two days ago. She wasn't accepting a cancellation. She offered to come and pick me up. I asked her to come over to my house with a bottle of wine and I will get the fireplace going, we ended up banging. A woman with high interest will move mountains to get to you.

 

[marmel75]

Before I go on, I appreciate and have read your advice. I know her text style and her last reply was not good. She also has a stellar BS meter that i have seen in action (not me). So don't address this at all?
If I were to address it (and at this point am leaning not to) Thoughts on the below?

No, we didn't have solid plans for a room. It seemed like an option though. After all, a drinking establishment isn't the best place for a therapeutic massage... Just a typical text misunderstanding.

Add something short and fun here.

It is the truth. Does that EVER work?

There wasn't really much of a misunderstanding...it was simply you being over eager like you havent gotten laid in a year that caused the issues.

I'll just say this. There are methods that will get you closer to what you want and methods that will get you further away from what you want. Your me this is the latter.

 

[highSpeed]

I tried canceling a first date with woman due to inclement weather just two days ago. She wasn't accepting a cancellation. She offered to come and pick me up. I asked her to come over to my house with a bottle of wine and I will get the fireplace going, we ended up banging. A woman with high interest will move mountains to get to you.

quote of the day and couldn't be more true. if she wants you, no amount of back pain, snow or other crap will keep her from you. she'd go out the window, no socks or shoes and walk to you if she really wanted that d.

 

[gettinit]

I replied to her:
Me: No, we didn't have solid plans for a room. It seemed like an option though. After all, a drinking establishment isn't the best place for a therapeutic massage... Just a typical text misunderstanding.
a half hour later
HB: I just reread it and it does read that way. It's a shame that it was snowing because I was really looking forward to seeing you.
HB:I guess that its my turn now. Free tomorrow evening?
about an hour later
Me: Hang on, let me check the weather.
Immediate
HB: lol don't bother, I already checked. All clear

As I had mentioned, she has a solid BS meter and doesn't respond well if her detector goes off. It was basically the truth. Maybe I was a bit over eager, but that can also be viewed as aggressive.
Thanks all for the input.

 

[marmel75]

I replied to her:
Me: No, we didn't have solid plans for a room. It seemed like an option though. After all, a drinking establishment isn't the best place for a therapeutic massage... Just a typical text misunderstanding.
a half hour later
HB: I just reread it and it does read that way. It's a shame that it was snowing because I was really looking forward to seeing you.
HB:I guess that its my turn now. Free tomorrow evening?
about an hour later
Me: Hang on, let me check the weather.
Immediate
HB: lol don't bother, I already checked. All clear

As I had mentioned, she has a solid BS meter and doesn't respond well if her detector goes off. It was basically the truth. Maybe I was a bit over eager, but that can also be viewed as aggressive.
Thanks all for the input.

Ok. She has interest now dont talk about rooms anymore until you get in date and have her hot and bothered...or if you are going to her place even better

 

[foolyoufool]

I replied to her:
Me: No, we didn't have solid plans for a room. It seemed like an option though. After all, a drinking establishment isn't the best place for a therapeutic massage... Just a typical text misunderstanding.
a half hour later
HB: I just reread it and it does read that way. It's a shame that it was snowing because I was really looking forward to seeing you.
HB:I guess that its my turn now. Free tomorrow evening?
about an hour later
Me: Hang on, let me check the weather.
Immediate
HB: lol don't bother, I already checked. All clear

As I had mentioned, she has a solid BS meter and doesn't respond well if her detector goes off. It was basically the truth. Maybe I was a bit over eager, but that can also be viewed as aggressive.
Thanks all for the input.

I don't think you messed up badly. You know you shouldn't have sent that text but it could have been much worse. I do think you jumped the gun by getting a hotel room (also, what's wrong with just bringing her to your place?). She obviously still wants to see you so you're in a good position.

Going forward don't book a hotel room in advance and refrain from talking about s*x until you are in person. My general rule of thumb is don't talk about any sexual acts you haven't already done with them over text.