"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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did I do the right thing-possible flake

napoleon

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I set up a date with a girl I've known for about 1-2 years (we go to the same gym and small talk, maybe 10min in month total). She texts me the day before date and says she has the flu, could we go out another day. I said yes (I should have replied maybe), but I text her back this: OK, but YOU call ME. Get well quickly.

Now I'll wait for her to call and if she doesn't I'll pretend like noting happened.
I assume that if she canceled and is intrested she WILL call me. If not-NEXT.

Am I right?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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napoleon

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Oh I forgot, after I told her to call ME, she told me -maybe we'll see eachother in the gym, although I wont go for a few days.
Now I started to trust my gut and my first thought and it's saying- She has the flu, will call me when she get's better, but will be OK to work out. Somethings fishy.


Should I try to call her 1 week after she canceled or wait her to call?


PS: I'm more pissed I deleted another girls number so she could give me hers than her flaking.:-(
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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napoleon

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Roger, out.






Why ,OH why did I erase that HB's number, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
 

napoleon

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OH one more thing. How should I act when I see her. Like nothing happened, kid her , what??
 

napoleon

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OK she called today(7 days after cancelling), seems like she really had the flu. Iwill tell her to hang out with me and if she tryes to reschedule I'll next her right then and there. For now she will be my backup plan. OK?
 

Warlord

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Dude, relax. Don't jump to conclusions like many of the lamers in this thread.

It's Winter season, you know where temperature drops down and people start getting colds/coughs/flus/fevers/etc.

Cut her some slack, try again, the only time I would next is if she would verbally hint at not dating you or her body language was showing disinterest.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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napoleon

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Seems my gut was right again.
She texts now I'm feeling ok so I can do things.
I say what things?
She says: oh now you want me to tell you that we can go to the cinema, I texted you no reason, just cause I said I will,here:I'm ok.
My reply was-Aha,no reason, OK glad youre feeling better.(and in my mind NEXT)
She didnt reply.
 

tosh

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too many awkward games/messages.

Stop the texting. Call her, try to make plans directly. Clear the air.

If it still doesn't work, NEXT, but first call and sound confident and clear about what you want to do.

This is my advice.
 

Vulpine

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You screwed up with:

What things?

You are supposed to be a man and take charge.

Your only recovery at this point would be:

Dinner at XXX restaurant xxx time xxx day. Pick you up at XXX?

No wishy-washiness. If she flakes, you did it to yourself... Next.
 

napoleon

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I already HAD plans with her,time,place, activity(movie), and then she got sick.


OK I'll call her monday, and say friday, cinema, meet at xxx. If not, nice meeting you?
 

napoleon

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Would waiting 4 days to CALL after these messages be too long?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Flyer

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napoleon, u seem to be really anxious.. posting so frequently..
are you sure you didnt contract one-itis or something?

In the meantime. Go out with a wing, or solo... and get more numbers.
 

napoleon

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I dont have a oneitis, I just wanna prove something to myself and am pissed. Maybe I could make a thread about what bothers me.
This is what bothers me: My friend goes out, makes out 1 time in last 6 months with a girl he sees for the first time, they go out, and now they are together, fuking and all.
I on the other hand can go out, make out with 2 girls, get 3 numbers, and from all that get nothing.
That is what pisses me off, like I have no luck. Now if I can go out with this girl (maybe I'll next her after 2-3 dates) I'll prove to myself that I'm not having bad luck, it's not my looks , just my technique.
 
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