"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Did I do it right?

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I met a girl at a party on New Years eve. I just called her (no answer) and left this voice mail:

"Hey, its Tony. I met you at the New Years eve party at Matts house. I think your pretty cool so I definitely think we should hang out again. Tonight, my buddy is having a little party at his cottage on the lake and I think you should come. Anyway, its gonna be fun so gimme a call back."

I think I might have had a little nervousness in my voice but I dont know if it was detectable and I might have gone a little to fast with a little bit of the wrong tone but once again, I dont know if it was detectable. SO other than that, how is it...good, bad? What could I have improoved on?


****Check below for the update****
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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MrS

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That was quick and to the point, no real ****ing around.
probably better.
 

Chosen1

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I hate Voicemail It's up to them if they want to delete it or not. I would rather talk in person. But If you're going to leave a message I would make sequels. First make your first recording really myserious like this. Hmm I bet you know who this is just (say where you met but not your name). Then say you have something great to tell her (but don't tell her in this message). Then tell her to call you back if she wants to hear the good news. If she doesn't respond call her back after the exciting event. Then say youre name and tell her she missed and great party but she can call you if she wants. sometimes it's ok to **** around with girls because they are not like us guys. By that I mean they will usually flake and don't think about us like we do them. Well that's my tip for today. Hope I helped.
 

JPFromTally

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I've learned from experience that leaving a voicemail on first contact is not a great idea. This puts the ball in her court and girls hate this.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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Update:

I called and left the voice mail at like 1:45ish in the afternoon. Well, I thought she was not interested but she did end up calling back at a little after 8pm with a "Hey Its XXXX, call me back".

But I think I did something that might have killed my chances with her.

I didn't hear her call and I didnt check my phone until like 9:30 at which point I realized she left a voice mail. I honestly thought she was not interested because she waited so long to call back. Well, I didnt have service so I had to wait to call her back until we got to the cottage. And to top it off, I had pre-gamed with the booze so I was already a little retarded. Well, I finally called her back at like a little before 10pm. Here is the bad part (I think this is bad), because I was already a little drunk and not thinking strait, I left another voice mail....and a stupid one at that. I said something like "Sweet, we're playing phone tag now...Your It!" Yup, you read right, that was the first thing that came to my head to say. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

So did not calling her for over an hour and a half and leaving another voice mail, and a stupid one at that, screw me? What to do/say.....? help...
 

Jay Jay

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Reply on the update.

Dude, thats fine. I think it a great message.

JJ
 

realsmoothie

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The message is fine. I just wouldn't have left one, either.

It's not she's necessarily going to flake... some girls are just kind of scared of making calls like that. Maybe she's shy, too.
 
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ok, great, so what do I do, lol. Should I call again at soem point in the future? WHen? And what do I say?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Pimp-sicle

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Your first message was a bit too much information. Its much better to be a little vague to peak a girl's interest if you leave a voicemail.

You didn't fuvk anything up, I like what you left on the 2nd voicemail. It shows her your playful, fun and have an active social life with your friends.

It would've been better to wait and call her back the next day. The weekends should be spent meeting new girls to fill up dates for the following week.

Also never invite a girl you just met to a party. Why? Because there will be plenty of guys hitting on her and unless she really likes you that much she might go run off with one of them. Its better to set up one on one dates for the first few times you hangout, then after that if things go well you can bring her around your buddies.


Lastly, your really worrying about this too much, this reeks of one-itis and you need to watch your game from here on out.




PIMP
 

realsmoothie

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gotta love bimmers said:
ok, great, so what do I do, lol. Should I call again at soem point in the future? WHen? And what do I say?
Yeah, it's a toughie if you leave a message and she doesn't call back. I think it's kind of up to you whether you call again in a while, depending on how much you thought she was interested in the first place.

Personally I'd just let it go. If she's not willing to at least call you back and say "I'm busy" or something, you know, too bad for her. YOU are the prize, remember that!
 
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Pimp-sicle said:
Your first message was a bit too much information. Its much better to be a little vague to peak a girl's interest if you leave a voicemail.

You didn't fuvk anything up, I like what you left on the 2nd voicemail. It shows her your playful, fun and have an active social life with your friends.

It would've been better to wait and call her back the next day. The weekends should be spent meeting new girls to fill up dates for the following week.

Also never invite a girl you just met to a party. Why? Because there will be plenty of guys hitting on her and unless she really likes you that much she might go run off with one of them. Its better to set up one on one dates for the first few times you hangout, then after that if things go well you can bring her around your buddies.


Lastly, your really worrying about this too much, this reeks of one-itis and you need to watch your game from here on out.




PIMP
It might be a little bit of oneitis, but there are other girls I am interested in also. So its not like all of my concentration is on her. But at the same time, i dont just want to give up.

So what do you suggest I do? See if she wants to go out somewhere? For this sort of situation, where should I take her?
 

Pimp-sicle

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gotta love bimmers said:
It might be a little bit of oneitis, but there are other girls I am interested in also. So its not like all of my concentration is on her. But at the same time, i dont just want to give up.

So what do you suggest I do? See if she wants to go out somewhere? For this sort of situation, where should I take her?

Has she even called you back since you left the 2nd voicemail???

If she calls back, then set up a date with her. Have a activity in mind, then ask her when she's free and set it up. Don't make the situation complex when its very easy.



PIMP
 

Lust

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Theres a nice ****y and Funny canned way to get girls, actually, anyone, to call you back. I read it somewhere and i use it alot.

"Hey, you were totally right, i can't believe it, ok i gotta run, i'll tell you about it when you call me back".

Bam, thats it.

When they call back just bust them for being gullable and whatever.

Since you are on the phone, make sure you set up the date as soon as they call you back. Before you do, you have to refresh her memory of how funny and interesting you are.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Pimp-sicle

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Lust said:
Theres a nice ****y and Funny canned way to get girls, actually, anyone, to call you back. I read it somewhere and i use it alot.

"Hey, you were totally right, i can't believe it, ok i gotta run, i'll tell you about it when you call me back".

Bam, thats it.

When they call back just bust them for being gullable and whatever.

Since you are on the phone, make sure you set up the date as soon as they call you back. Before you do, you have to refresh her memory of how funny and interesting you are.

As you get older you'll learn that if you have to use gimmick's or reverse psychology to get a girl to call you back then you've already lost. Sure she might call you back because she's intrigued by what you meant, but once she figures that out or your angle, she'll be done with you.

Most guys don't gain enough rapport with a girl to get a first or second date. While the attraction might be there, its not enough since there are many people that you can be attracted to at once.



PIMP
 
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