"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Did I do it (partially) right?

SayWhat

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Hi all

Few months ago I met a girl from who I found out she was into me. Went on a date and asked her out again a few times after that. Unfortunately she always had something to do, I know the reason wasn't because of me. Or it was, but it doesn't matter as you will read in the next few paragraphs.

But one time after I asked her out and she cancelled again, I got tired of it and simply ignored her by just answering as short as possible when she was asking or telling something. When I got home from work that evening (we worked together at a local sandwich bar form time to time), I got a message from her "Is something wrong, you were so silent? Is it because I cancelled all these times?". But instead of being honest, I replied it was something else (when in fact it was indeed that). The day after that, I started to feel sorry I was acting that way and just made something up of what could be wrong and told her that.

After that, the contact between us deteriorated. Heard basically nothing for 2-3 weeks, but then we saw each other at a party and started to talk again. The days after that she started asking "can we watch a movie at your home". But again, this didn't go through. We kept talking and eventually went on a trip together to Egypt for a week (yes, this went through!). During that trip, I started to feel nervous. What should I say so she would like me, if I do this maybe she thinks I'm weird, I have to make this trip fun,… so basically I wasn't myself and there was a constant tension between us. We got home and I decided it was best not to talk to each other for a while.

But that's that, I learned from this experience I should always be myself and not worry about what other people think of me. The question I have is, for further experiences, what did I do right?

Was I right to have my answers as short as possible because she always cancelled our dates? I'm asking this, because I always have a similar feeling when I meet new girls. I 'ignore' her to see how she acts, seeks my attention and asks why I'm so quiet. But I guess this isn't right? The feeling I had with this girl when I ignored her, was a mix of both. I was mad because she cancelled, but in the meantime sought confirmation if she still liked me.

Thanks!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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VladPatton

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In general, being fun is better. I found the whole dark, mysterious characters tend to fall by the waste-side and girls will gravitate towards a fun guy. Be a fun version of yourself, gauge her interest so you don't waste time, act accordingly with little emotional investment, and that's pretty much all you can do.
 

alpha_ash

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SayWhat said:
Hi all

Few months ago I met a girl from who I found out she was into me. Went on a date and asked her out again a few times after that. Unfortunately she always had something to do, I know the reason wasn't because of me. Or it was, but it doesn't matter as you will read in the next few paragraphs.

But one time after I asked her out and she cancelled again, I got tired of it and simply ignored her by just answering as short as possible when she was asking or telling something. When I got home from work that evening (we worked together at a local sandwich bar form time to time), I got a message from her "Is something wrong, you were so silent? Is it because I cancelled all these times?". But instead of being honest, I replied it was something else (when in fact it was indeed that). The day after that, I started to feel sorry I was acting that way and just made something up of what could be wrong and told her that.

After that, the contact between us deteriorated. Heard basically nothing for 2-3 weeks, but then we saw each other at a party and started to talk again. The days after that she started asking "can we watch a movie at your home". But again, this didn't go through. We kept talking and eventually went on a trip together to Egypt for a week (yes, this went through!). During that trip, I started to feel nervous. What should I say so she would like me, if I do this maybe she thinks I'm weird, I have to make this trip fun,… so basically I wasn't myself and there was a constant tension between us. We got home and I decided it was best not to talk to each other for a while.

But that's that, I learned from this experience I should always be myself and not worry about what other people think of me. The question I have is, for further experiences, what did I do right?

Was I right to have my answers as short as possible because she always cancelled our dates? I'm asking this, because I always have a similar feeling when I meet new girls. I 'ignore' her to see how she acts, seeks my attention and asks why I'm so quiet. But I guess this isn't right? The feeling I had with this girl when I ignored her, was a mix of both. I was mad because she cancelled, but in the meantime sought confirmation if she still liked me.

Thanks!
Interesting that she directly asked you if you were upset because of the cancellations. I would like to know how to reply to something like that and how to be tactful in transferring your message that it is in fact because she was being an idiot.
 

Pimp-sicle

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When you ask a girl out and she is always "busy" or canceling etc; that is a clear indicator of her interest. Which in this case it was pretty apparent that it was low to non-existent on a romantic level.

Its not surprising that she was suddenly available when an opportunity to go to Egypt came up. That didn't mean she suddenly wanted you, it meant she wanted to go Egypt.

Your mistake was letting her rejection emotionally affect you and make you act differently towards her.

You have to learn to control your emotions better and treat her like nothing ever happened.

You being suddenly different after all her cancellations only confirms to her that she made the right choice in not hanging with you.

In your situation you work with her, so its kinda hard to ignore her. But start treating her like just another person and move on. Meet new girls and within a short period of time you won't even care.







PIMP
 

SayWhat

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Yeah I know her indications were not as I wanted, but I don't get why she asks if she could come watch a movie, propose to go on a trip with her (when in fact she could have asked friends which she knew longer).

But is it okay:

- to ignore a girl from time to time to see how she responds? Or should this not be done, or only once?

- Was I right in not telling the truth that indeed it was due to the cancellations and should I just act like I don't care? Cause I believe sometimes you have to be honest about stuff like that, no?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

SayWhat

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Your last paragraph brings me to my next question. I wanted to start a completely new thread about it, but may as well ask it here now.

So it is ok to lie about something you're going to do? For example "yeah I can't, I have to go to a girlfriend who has problems" or "I'm going to meet some friends" when in reality you're just staying at home?

Can you even go as far as telling a girl you're into something like "yeah there was this girl that was into me" when in fact this girl doesn't exist?

So basically, can you make stuff up to appear more interesting?
 

Harry Wilmington

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SayWhat said:
So it is ok to lie about something you're going to do? For example "yeah I can't, I have to go to a girlfriend who has problems" or "I'm going to meet some friends" when in reality you're just staying at home?

Can you even go as far as telling a girl you're into something like "yeah there was this girl that was into me" when in fact this girl doesn't exist?

So basically, can you make stuff up to appear more interesting?
You should actually focus on having stuff to do in the first place - then you won't have to lie about it.

With that said: I find that less is more. The less details you give about what you're doing, the more effective it is in terms of having her own mind ponder about what you're doing. Remember: she's not there to actually SEE this busy thing you're doing. If a girl calls you and asks if you're busy, you could just say "yeah, tonight's not a good night, I've already got plans... but hey, how's Tuesday look for you?" You brush right by the first part and right into counter-offereing - 9 times out of 10, this will prevent them from asking you what you're actually doing.

Meanwhile, just saying the word "plans" will make her ponder what you could be doing - and girls have a WAY better imagination than we have, so lord only knows where her mind will go...
 

SayWhat

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Yeah I want things to do, but unfortunately I really don't know what yet. Joining a sport will not happen, I'm not into soccer and stuff like that. I do am seriously considering to join the local shooting range, but again this will be only one day a week at best.

Any more tips perhaps of what you guys like to do in your free time?
 
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