A girl I have interest in thinks I am a great guy but sees me more as a brother/friend. A friend of hers says I have to show my crush my sexual side. She believes I could maybe change her mind. I've always been a decent guy with a good sense of humor, former shy dude who broke out of his shell, but I know I do lack edge. Of course, I'd like to get this girl but any advice for future women would be awesome so this doesnt happen again.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Developing an edge
- Thread starter Draper25
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Igetit!
Moderator
If she sees you as a brother or friend, it's probably because you've been acting like a brother or a friend.You can't walk, talk,act,and behave as if she's your sister for weeks and weeks and weeks, and then all the sudden expect her to want to get naked with you,that's crazy.......that doesn't make any sense.
That's true, but if you've been acting and behaving like a brother for the entire time you've known her, and then all the sudden you decided to switch over to acting and being sexual, you going to freak her out. You have any sisters? How how would you feel if someone who's been your sister for your entire life all the sudden decide to start acting sexual and showing sexual interest towards you? That's the thing.... you can't just switch up all the sudden. If you do, that'll create distrust in her for you,because she won't know who you are.So you're in a bit of a dilemma.....
You can stay the way you are.......a friend/brother, who she feels no sexual attraction for......or you can switch up and suddenly go sexual,which may likely make her feel uncomfortable,since it'll be a side of you she's never seen before.
That's the problem..... It's not her mind that needs to be changed, it's her FEELINGS......her EMOTIONS. And those feelings developed because of the friend/brother type of behavior that you've shown around her. You can't just change those emotions at the flip of a switch.
You should have shown your sexual side from the beginning,from when you first met her.
Decent, funny guy who lacks edge......that usually equals "Let's just be friends" with women.
Well, there you go.
Thanks for responding. No, I am not going go suddenly jump into the other end of where i am. I know it will take time, but also realize in that time that I have to expand my.horizons. I am going to date other girls and let her know. If one of those girls happen to become something serious, I will definitely not dump her for a crush. I did thst once before and lost both girls.
I will check it out..thanks brother
marmel75
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 7,175
- Reaction score
- 5,571
Edge...say things that are kind of forward without apologies.
For instance this one time I had a date set up with a woman and somehow the topic of kissing came up and I told her I have been told I'm a really good kisser.
She said that she finds that to be really important and that if she doesn't melt on the first kiss then she knows its probably not going to work out. Then she asked do I still want to claim that after she said that.
I told her that not only would I still claim it I told her she might want to bring a change of panties with her because I heard its kind of uncomfortable driving home soaking wet.
She was like "Wow! I didn't expect that response!" But she loved it and then took it even more sexual.
Ended up banging her on the first date after she agreed i was a great kisser.
Edgy will get you laid a lot.
For instance this one time I had a date set up with a woman and somehow the topic of kissing came up and I told her I have been told I'm a really good kisser.
She said that she finds that to be really important and that if she doesn't melt on the first kiss then she knows its probably not going to work out. Then she asked do I still want to claim that after she said that.
I told her that not only would I still claim it I told her she might want to bring a change of panties with her because I heard its kind of uncomfortable driving home soaking wet.
She was like "Wow! I didn't expect that response!" But she loved it and then took it even more sexual.
Ended up banging her on the first date after she agreed i was a great kisser.
Edgy will get you laid a lot.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.