Desire in LTRs

[zekko]

@AJ84, a lot of times guys will post here something along the lines of "I can tell which guys here are getting laid". For you, I will say this: I can tell from what you write that you have actually been in a relationship.

I’ve observed this phenomena many many times. Do they know they are doing wrong by the prevailing social moral codes? Of course she knows but her biological forces are pretty strong.

You're not saying anything I didn't infer from the article. I didn't read all of it, but I read enough to get the gist. It was very similar to numerous other articles I've read, otherwise it might have held my interest.

You're saying women are biologically driven to commit acts that are against society's moral codes. That's the "sinister" bit. "Women are driven to do evil. Don't hate a dog for acting like a dog, etc.".

Women are biologically wired to tire of having the same lover after a time. Is this supposed to be news? Men seek variety too. It's all just part of life, like death and taxes. You deal with it as best you can. If you get too unhappy, you break up. If there's enough there to make it worth it to you, you stay together. I don't see any surprise here.

 

[Spaz]

Well this is gonna be a long post...

If its any help, I've been in continous relationships since I'm abt 17, intermittent breakups happens and I'm only ever truly single for a couple of months (maybe 3 or 4 months) when I'm much younger.

Currently I've got a plate (or gf if you like) that's been with me for 13 years (this month), another that's been with me for 6 years (this one I broke off the engagement) and 1 more for a few months (and this one keeps changing).

Those women that's been with me for years doesn't stay with me, well they do sometimes when they drop by for a sleep over.

Perhaps my unavailability makes both women desires me more sexually.

Perhaps it's my masculinity.

Perhaps it's because I'm well off.

Perhaps it's because I've got social status within the community.

Perhaps it's because I couldn't give a flying fvck if they drop me (at least that's how I appear but the truth is I TOO would be AFFECTED, the only difference is the ability to move on).

Perhaps it's because they're been living for so long in my frame that they don't know how to live otherwise.

Perhaps and perhaps and even more perhaps on a multitude of things that I don't know as to why they keep on wanting me.

The thing is we men shouldn't care nor focus on it since we are not women, nor should we try to control our destiny with women.

It could be either one of the 'perhaps' or even all of the 'perhaps' that kept those women within my frame or sexually attracted to me for years.

But what I do know for certain is this: a women's love.

A women's love is NOT the same as us men.

A women's love MUST consist of 2 things: Admiration and Respect.

With admiration being the primary and respect the secondary.

If ur woman no longer admires you, then respect will slowly erode over time, maybe even years BUT it will manifest by her lack of sexual interest in you.

Yeah,... Yeah, sure sexually she can be bored or tired, and that's exactly why I've posted on here that men need to be in a polygamous relationship.

The only truth I know is THAT women need competition to 'feel alive'.

Give her that and ur relationship will endure as mine did up to now.

 

[The Diver]

The Italic comment below was taken from one of the commentators who disagree with the article, and I think he has a point, which I agree with.
In my work, I have seen a lot of those blue pill's men. They neglecting themselves , generally looks like s**t , and very submissive to their wives. No wonder their women's V dried up and they run to the hills after few years.
There is no sense in her rejecting you If you do the right things at keeping yourself in top condition on all front, stay dominant even after years, and not falling to the Beta trap (which eventually happened to the majority of married/ LTR men ).
It's an easy route to take and blaming women for lack of desire for you, when you are blue Pill's and looks like sh*it instead of doing the hard work on yourself. (Yes women will still bunce, but usually, a happy woman who contents with her dominant masculine man won't find the reason to do so )


"you completely disregard the ability of strong masculine dominance man' and game aware, to keep the interest of a woman over the course of many years.
As far as I am concerned, if a woman becomes bored of sex with her partner, then the fault lies with you, as a man. These studies are based upon average couples, with average blue pill men, who have no idea that the behaviours that they are exhibiting – that they have been programmed to by society – are in fact turning their women off them"

 

[Black Widow Void]

Your words:
“Stripping away the confirmation bias here, I'd say that both s3xes are equally guilty. ''

Your mind dubbed this in. It was not part of the article nor is it biologically correct. There are always exceptions but you said “equally”

That was inserted and nowhere in the study. In fact the article said just the opposite. Women don’t need your defense.
This is highly feminine and a socially inspired mindset. There is nothing equal. This sets men up to fail if they go into agreement.

There looks to be a misunderstanding (this happens when one makes conclusions about another before asking).
To clarify, my words are not written in response to the article. Instead toward many forum viewers (you appear to be an applicable candidate) .
There's a lot of confirmation bias on this forum.
If you are more interested in winning a discussion, rather than learning, you are free to have the last word.

 

[BeExcellent]

Desire is essential for depth in relationships. My grandmother, who was happily married twice to great men, and widowed both times, first in her early 40s when my grandfather died from cancer, and then in her 90s when her second husband died of cancer...she was very wise.

She said that the sexual chemistry is the glue in a marriage and that a great wife is a lover first, a partner/companion second, and a mother third.

She was married to leaders of men both times. She desired her husband and never lacked in that department. The husband led, the wife supported.

In my own relationships I look for two basic things.

1. Do I desire him sexually?
2. Can he lead me?

His leadership ability fuels my desire. Think of a positive feedback loop. As @Spaz noted admiration and respect drive love. I think men also need to admire & respect their partner for deep love to develop, but it manifests differently.

The sexual experience can deepen and evolve in LTRs. In fact it should. Intimacy doesn’t start to really take root until after the initial dopamine heavy infatuation stage of a relationship has passed. Desire will ebb and flow over the course of a relationship and keeping the spark requires effort.

Love is an action verb. We love what we value; we value what we invest in. When you make the investment then we affirm what we value and we bond and attach accordingly. So real love is not *just* a feeling. It is action with intent to invest and value something to which we have made a conscious decision to commit to. The action of investment fuels the feeling; we create the feeling THROUGH the action that follows the decision and the commitment to the decision.

That is what real love looks like. Real love is not flowery dopamine high haze driven chemistry...although that infatuation stage is the gateway to love AND the seed of ongoing long term attraction and sexual energy and exchange between a man and a woman. It is the seed of masculine/feminine polarity, and all these things morph and evolve for relationships are dynamic just as people are dynamic.

Show me lazy people and I’ll show you lackluster relationships. Effort is required in LTRs because the infatuation only gets you so far.

 

[Epic Days]

There looks to be a misunderstanding (this happens when one makes conclusions about another before asking).
To clarify, my words are not written in response to the article. Instead toward many forum viewers (you appear to be an applicable candidate) .
There's a lot of confirmation bias on this forum.
If you are more interested in winning a discussion, rather than learning, you are free to have the last word.

You quoted your premise first. I was and am spot on.