"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Desdinova proves we all can slip at times

SoldMySoul

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Sorry to put you out there Des, but I read some of your recovery journal...not all but some. You have always been solid on here and I have a sense you are really struggling with being dumped. Just goes to show many things: 1) You are human 2) You experience normal emotions 3) you have the ability to try after failure 4) Your hurt and down feelings can be experienced by the best.

With that said, We learn from our mistakes not our successes. All of us need to take a nice, long look deep inside of us as we all can be going exactly through what Des is. When you are down it can take a long while to recover.

Des, I wish you the best and I know you will bounce back, but you sharing your feelings instead of lying to yourself and trying to seem like a hard a$$ is refreshing and it needs be pointed out. WE ALL, AT ANYTIME, CAN slip.....it is how we come back that's makes us stronger and indeed the victor. If you are not careful, a woman can suck the life out of you destroying your desire and ambition to handle yours in life.

THANKS FOR SHARING!!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Desdinova

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Just to add on...

I don't feel like I "slipped" by getting highly emotionally involved with the girl. I don't regret it one bit. It actually felt great to feel it again - something I haven't felt since I was an AFC who was madly in love with the woman who drove me here.

Recovering from the termination of the relationship is a bytch though.
 

zekko

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Yeah, I don't think Des slipped at all. The one that slipped was his ex-girlfriend.

:up:
 
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SoldMySoul

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Yeah slipped was a poorly chosen word, but you get the gist. Sometimes no matter how you try or want the person you want....it just doesn't happen. What never changes is who you are and we know who Des is. A warrior on the recovery road and will be back with a vengeance.
 

Boilermaker

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I don't think Des slipped by any stretch of the imagination either.

This is life, $hit happens. You don't call it a "slip" when you get hit by a truck on your way to work or somebody close to you dies, or your trusted girlfriend walks away on you, without warning.

Being a DJ doesn't mean we are to be trained like Navy SEALS. What's wrong with missing a girlfriend?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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B

BeDJ

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A year and half after my 4 year LTR ended, I sometimes look back and imagine what I could have done better. It's bittersweet, but prevents mistakes from happening in future relationships. Having said that, these lessons sometimes intertwine with the good moments you have shared with your ex. Most importantly. forgive yourself and ex for why things didn't work out. We all live, love and learn and learning is the hardest part of all. Look back to gain perspective on life and smile that you had the experience because nothing smacks you harder. Spin plates...
 
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