"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Desdinova proves we all can slip at times

SoldMySoul

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Sorry to put you out there Des, but I read some of your recovery journal...not all but some. You have always been solid on here and I have a sense you are really struggling with being dumped. Just goes to show many things: 1) You are human 2) You experience normal emotions 3) you have the ability to try after failure 4) Your hurt and down feelings can be experienced by the best.

With that said, We learn from our mistakes not our successes. All of us need to take a nice, long look deep inside of us as we all can be going exactly through what Des is. When you are down it can take a long while to recover.

Des, I wish you the best and I know you will bounce back, but you sharing your feelings instead of lying to yourself and trying to seem like a hard a$$ is refreshing and it needs be pointed out. WE ALL, AT ANYTIME, CAN slip.....it is how we come back that's makes us stronger and indeed the victor. If you are not careful, a woman can suck the life out of you destroying your desire and ambition to handle yours in life.

THANKS FOR SHARING!!!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Desdinova

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Just to add on...

I don't feel like I "slipped" by getting highly emotionally involved with the girl. I don't regret it one bit. It actually felt great to feel it again - something I haven't felt since I was an AFC who was madly in love with the woman who drove me here.

Recovering from the termination of the relationship is a bytch though.
 

zekko

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Yeah, I don't think Des slipped at all. The one that slipped was his ex-girlfriend.

:up:
 
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SoldMySoul

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Yeah slipped was a poorly chosen word, but you get the gist. Sometimes no matter how you try or want the person you want....it just doesn't happen. What never changes is who you are and we know who Des is. A warrior on the recovery road and will be back with a vengeance.
 

Boilermaker

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I don't think Des slipped by any stretch of the imagination either.

This is life, $hit happens. You don't call it a "slip" when you get hit by a truck on your way to work or somebody close to you dies, or your trusted girlfriend walks away on you, without warning.

Being a DJ doesn't mean we are to be trained like Navy SEALS. What's wrong with missing a girlfriend?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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B

BeDJ

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A year and half after my 4 year LTR ended, I sometimes look back and imagine what I could have done better. It's bittersweet, but prevents mistakes from happening in future relationships. Having said that, these lessons sometimes intertwine with the good moments you have shared with your ex. Most importantly. forgive yourself and ex for why things didn't work out. We all live, love and learn and learning is the hardest part of all. Look back to gain perspective on life and smile that you had the experience because nothing smacks you harder. Spin plates...
 
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