"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Depression & First Heartbreak

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
OP, you were in love with an idealized, romanticised picture of who she is, not the actual person that she is.

In other words, your mind turned her into something that she never was in the first place. I think that most of us here has at one point been through something similar, multiple times. It's almost a rite of passage for a man these days.

It's just part of the learning process. Time will start to give you perspective. Leverage that time by working out and forcing yourself to socialze a little each day, even if you don't feel like it. The grief will lift sooner than you think.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

SamTheHobit

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
1,514
Reaction score
95
Location
South Africa
Atom Smasher said:
OP, you were in love with an idealized, romanticised picture of who she is, not the actual person that she is.

In other words, your mind turned her into something that she never was in the first place. I think that most of us here has at one point been through something similar, multiple times. It's almost a rite of passage for a man these days.

It's just part of the learning process. Time will start to give you perspective. Leverage that time by working out and forcing yourself to socialze a little each day, even if you don't feel like it. The grief will lift sooner than you think.
Great post.
 
Top