"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Deletion of certain Posts from Archived Threads

Raoul

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Allen,

Would it be possible to delete bashful's posts from the threads in the archive? I was just clicking through and re-reading all the good advice, and it is a SAD end to a great thread to have that idiot whining his ass off that all the advice doesn't work, and nullify the entire thread.

Just a thought.

Thanks,

- Raoul
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Anson

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I agree! Archive is a place where nobody is looking for negative comments. It would be a good place for egobooster if that darn negative stuff didn't destroy the great DJ feeling
 

Raoul

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Bump, and an extension of this request to the Success Stories forum (Allen, thanks for setting that up as well). One example is this like : http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum9/HTML/000015.html

Honestly, bashful contributed nothing but pointless complaints that nothing worked for him. It spoils the "magic" for a reader who is going through that thread to see bashful's incessant whining.

Thanks for reading.

- Raoul
 

DeepBlue

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Raoul wrote:
It spoils the "magic" for a reader who is going through that thread to see bashful's incessant whining.



Excuse me, but I don't need to be saved from that. The fact that someone posts a few whiny, nay-saying comments does not "nullify the entire thread" because I (and many other readers I suspect) have a brain and can weigh the various contributions in a thread against each other.

Nothing would ruin the magic faster than to make readers feel that they are being presented with an artificially rosy, one sided viewpoint, because only certain viewpoints are being permitted.

I can see the benefits of moderating posts, but disagreeing with a viewpoint is the one thing that should never be the basis for deleting a post.

If someone was posting a massive amount of whining to the point that the sheer quantity of their posts was drowning out everyone else's posts I'd understand some action being taken on that.

I did a search on bashful. Unless I conducted the search incorrectly, it looks like he made a few brief posts to just four archived threads.

The thing to realize, Raoul, is that everyone out there who is learning this stuff has a little voice in the back of their heads that sounds just like Bashful.

Part of the deal in mastering this stuff is that each of us must develop the ability to recognize and quell that whining voice within ourselves.

If someone else is always shielding you from the naysayers, then the sense of confidence you build on top of that is going to be on thin ice, when it should be built on a firm foundation that has learned to withstand the voice of doubt.

So, a bit of insecure, whiney nay-saying here and there is a good thing. It lends the discussions an air of reality, a feeling that all voices are being represented, and it gives the reader practice at dealing with his own version of that whiny nay-saying voice.

DeepBlue
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DeepBlue

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Raoul,
I looked at those two links you posted, and I agree with your intent, because it does seem that Bashful's criticisms or doubts are tossed into the discussion in such a vague, offhand way that he doesn't seem to be seeking any actual dialogue regarding his contrary viewpoints, and is merely there to create noise. So, he does seem like a troll, trying to provoke a reaction with the least amount of effort.

Nevertheless, what worries me is the question of where you draw the line in deleting posts based on the belief that they don't contribute enough to the discussion.

That line is hazy at best. That's why I like the idea of looking at quantity of posts--if someone is posting a large quantity of nuisance posts it makes it more of a clearcut candidate for deletion.

Do you know if Bashful is still present on the site? If he is, then here is one possible solution:

A moderator could move his comments, making them a whole new thread, and invite Bashful to clarify his viewpoints in great detail, explaining what he did, how his approach didn't seem to work, and what sort of things he needs help with.

That way the original thread won't be "contaminated" with noise, and at the same time Bashful will have his very own thread in which he can defend his viewpoints if he wants to put his money where his mouth is.

DeepBlue
 
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