"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Deletion of certain Posts from Archived Threads

Raoul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2000
Messages
554
Reaction score
1
Allen,

Would it be possible to delete bashful's posts from the threads in the archive? I was just clicking through and re-reading all the good advice, and it is a SAD end to a great thread to have that idiot whining his ass off that all the advice doesn't work, and nullify the entire thread.

Just a thought.

Thanks,

- Raoul
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Anson

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2001
Messages
739
Reaction score
4
Age
41
Location
Finland
I agree! Archive is a place where nobody is looking for negative comments. It would be a good place for egobooster if that darn negative stuff didn't destroy the great DJ feeling
 

Raoul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2000
Messages
554
Reaction score
1
Bump, and an extension of this request to the Success Stories forum (Allen, thanks for setting that up as well). One example is this like : http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum9/HTML/000015.html

Honestly, bashful contributed nothing but pointless complaints that nothing worked for him. It spoils the "magic" for a reader who is going through that thread to see bashful's incessant whining.

Thanks for reading.

- Raoul
 

DeepBlue

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2002
Messages
403
Reaction score
3

Raoul wrote:
It spoils the "magic" for a reader who is going through that thread to see bashful's incessant whining.



Excuse me, but I don't need to be saved from that. The fact that someone posts a few whiny, nay-saying comments does not "nullify the entire thread" because I (and many other readers I suspect) have a brain and can weigh the various contributions in a thread against each other.

Nothing would ruin the magic faster than to make readers feel that they are being presented with an artificially rosy, one sided viewpoint, because only certain viewpoints are being permitted.

I can see the benefits of moderating posts, but disagreeing with a viewpoint is the one thing that should never be the basis for deleting a post.

If someone was posting a massive amount of whining to the point that the sheer quantity of their posts was drowning out everyone else's posts I'd understand some action being taken on that.

I did a search on bashful. Unless I conducted the search incorrectly, it looks like he made a few brief posts to just four archived threads.

The thing to realize, Raoul, is that everyone out there who is learning this stuff has a little voice in the back of their heads that sounds just like Bashful.

Part of the deal in mastering this stuff is that each of us must develop the ability to recognize and quell that whining voice within ourselves.

If someone else is always shielding you from the naysayers, then the sense of confidence you build on top of that is going to be on thin ice, when it should be built on a firm foundation that has learned to withstand the voice of doubt.

So, a bit of insecure, whiney nay-saying here and there is a good thing. It lends the discussions an air of reality, a feeling that all voices are being represented, and it gives the reader practice at dealing with his own version of that whiny nay-saying voice.

DeepBlue
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

DeepBlue

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2002
Messages
403
Reaction score
3
Raoul,
I looked at those two links you posted, and I agree with your intent, because it does seem that Bashful's criticisms or doubts are tossed into the discussion in such a vague, offhand way that he doesn't seem to be seeking any actual dialogue regarding his contrary viewpoints, and is merely there to create noise. So, he does seem like a troll, trying to provoke a reaction with the least amount of effort.

Nevertheless, what worries me is the question of where you draw the line in deleting posts based on the belief that they don't contribute enough to the discussion.

That line is hazy at best. That's why I like the idea of looking at quantity of posts--if someone is posting a large quantity of nuisance posts it makes it more of a clearcut candidate for deletion.

Do you know if Bashful is still present on the site? If he is, then here is one possible solution:

A moderator could move his comments, making them a whole new thread, and invite Bashful to clarify his viewpoints in great detail, explaining what he did, how his approach didn't seem to work, and what sort of things he needs help with.

That way the original thread won't be "contaminated" with noise, and at the same time Bashful will have his very own thread in which he can defend his viewpoints if he wants to put his money where his mouth is.

DeepBlue
 
Top