"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Decode this...

Jessie82

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A girl I've liked for awhile moved to the city for a career change. Before she left we were flirting and getting close, and almost went out on a date (but the date never happened because she had to leave in a short notice).

In a month's time I'll be going overseas for a holiday and will be passing through the city she lives in for one night. I emailed her and suggested we catch up. She emailed me back and asked what night I'll be in town, as she is busy with the end of year stuff. I emailed her the date I'll be in the city, after ten days of not replying she sent:

'…sorry for the late reply – I have been waiting to see what is coming up and I'm not going to be able to make dinner when you are in town. I have a number of things on in the evening that week (a lot tied up with work end of year things) and just can't move/get out of them. I'm sure there will be a chance to catch up when you are back from your holiday though.’

I can’t tell from the email whether she is trying to get out of meeting me or if she really wants to catch up eventually. What do you guys think?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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smooth guy

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I think she doesn't wanna catch up.

I'm sure there will be a chance to catch up when you are back from your holiday though

Blowing you off politely. I should know since that's what I usually say when I wanna blow off somebody and not meet up with them somewhere.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Jessie82

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Yeah damn it I thought so too. Oh well I guess it was worth a try.

Thanks guys for helping me out.
 

Jessie82

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Friend_ofa_Friend said:
translated:

"i have tried to forget about it but a couple of days i managed to talk to one of my friends, she helped me form the perfect sounding excuse. I dont want to sound nasty."

I think you might have hit it on the nail here. I wish she could have just told me straight up though instead of being polite.
 

young_gun

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Probably politely turning you down. She probably would have offered another time she was free if she were interested. I probably wouldn't talk to her unless she ends up calling you.
 

Jessie82

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Yeah that's what I'm trying to decide now, whether to reply back or not. And what to say if I do reply...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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young_gun

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You don't have anything to lose, if you do end up calling her again, just wait a while and ask her out again. I usually use a "two-strike rule", where if I get turned down once, I'll try one more time, but if she says no after the second time I'll just move on.
 
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