"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Decode this...

Jessie82

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A girl I've liked for awhile moved to the city for a career change. Before she left we were flirting and getting close, and almost went out on a date (but the date never happened because she had to leave in a short notice).

In a month's time I'll be going overseas for a holiday and will be passing through the city she lives in for one night. I emailed her and suggested we catch up. She emailed me back and asked what night I'll be in town, as she is busy with the end of year stuff. I emailed her the date I'll be in the city, after ten days of not replying she sent:

'…sorry for the late reply – I have been waiting to see what is coming up and I'm not going to be able to make dinner when you are in town. I have a number of things on in the evening that week (a lot tied up with work end of year things) and just can't move/get out of them. I'm sure there will be a chance to catch up when you are back from your holiday though.’

I can’t tell from the email whether she is trying to get out of meeting me or if she really wants to catch up eventually. What do you guys think?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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smooth guy

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I think she doesn't wanna catch up.

I'm sure there will be a chance to catch up when you are back from your holiday though

Blowing you off politely. I should know since that's what I usually say when I wanna blow off somebody and not meet up with them somewhere.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Jessie82

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Yeah damn it I thought so too. Oh well I guess it was worth a try.

Thanks guys for helping me out.
 

Jessie82

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Friend_ofa_Friend said:
translated:

"i have tried to forget about it but a couple of days i managed to talk to one of my friends, she helped me form the perfect sounding excuse. I dont want to sound nasty."

I think you might have hit it on the nail here. I wish she could have just told me straight up though instead of being polite.
 

young_gun

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Probably politely turning you down. She probably would have offered another time she was free if she were interested. I probably wouldn't talk to her unless she ends up calling you.
 

Jessie82

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Yeah that's what I'm trying to decide now, whether to reply back or not. And what to say if I do reply...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

young_gun

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You don't have anything to lose, if you do end up calling her again, just wait a while and ask her out again. I usually use a "two-strike rule", where if I get turned down once, I'll try one more time, but if she says no after the second time I'll just move on.
 
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