"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Deciphering Signals

konig87

Don Juan
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Hey Dj's,

So this one girl I have been friends with has a studio with me (a lab basically) and when we are walking in between classes or i am joking around with her she keeps saying that she misses having me in her classes, etc. I thought that was a good sign. Also she does do the typical like arm punching (flirting?), and like randomly poking me with pencils or whatever to get my attention. She has made a lot more effort to sit by me in classes, and walk with me compared to the last time I had her in class (but I am less shy compared to back then as well)

But then she mentioned that I was like a brother to her without the exact wording (this was in response to me being a wiseass and joking around). I've heard mixed things about that statement but my gut feeling was that I have the fun part down but not enough flirting or what. The next day she mentioned that she missed having me in class for like the 4th time or something.

I have my humor/****y style solid I am just working on Kino and eyecontact/smiling more.

My current plan was just to be my typical sarcastic/funny self and see what happens but my curiosity has gotten the better of me. Whats the norm from these types of things? (one of my don juan friends advised that normally to move on but to see if she would commit to hanging out outside of class. I did mention in passing to her once that there was a dollar margarida night at a bar and she responded that she was down. )

And any advice for this girl or if not her, changes for the future?

Thanks,
Konig
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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usscrum

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
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if she actually said the word "brother", it could be a sign that you are in the friendzone. as pook said:

"you're like a brother to me" = "i consider sex with you to be incest"


sounds like youre getting some solid IOI's though...i would go for it.

invite her out somewhere. if she flakes, try to set up another time. if she doesn't commit to that, move on.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
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What was it exactly that she said? Often you being labeled like a brother can be disastrous, but it depends on the context. Some advise that you treat some women as if they were your bratty little sister, so sometimes a woman might pick up on this. This is probably for the right reasons, though, rather than because your being friendzoned.

So, what was her exact quote?
 

Hughman

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 25, 2009
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Increase the flirting, more kino, more ****iness, then deny her a bit to mess with her head/be seen being sexual with other girls. See her responses then proceed to decide on asking for a date. It's the best you can do under the circumstances.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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