"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Deciphering Signals

konig87

Don Juan
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Hey Dj's,

So this one girl I have been friends with has a studio with me (a lab basically) and when we are walking in between classes or i am joking around with her she keeps saying that she misses having me in her classes, etc. I thought that was a good sign. Also she does do the typical like arm punching (flirting?), and like randomly poking me with pencils or whatever to get my attention. She has made a lot more effort to sit by me in classes, and walk with me compared to the last time I had her in class (but I am less shy compared to back then as well)

But then she mentioned that I was like a brother to her without the exact wording (this was in response to me being a wiseass and joking around). I've heard mixed things about that statement but my gut feeling was that I have the fun part down but not enough flirting or what. The next day she mentioned that she missed having me in class for like the 4th time or something.

I have my humor/****y style solid I am just working on Kino and eyecontact/smiling more.

My current plan was just to be my typical sarcastic/funny self and see what happens but my curiosity has gotten the better of me. Whats the norm from these types of things? (one of my don juan friends advised that normally to move on but to see if she would commit to hanging out outside of class. I did mention in passing to her once that there was a dollar margarida night at a bar and she responded that she was down. )

And any advice for this girl or if not her, changes for the future?

Thanks,
Konig
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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usscrum

Don Juan
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if she actually said the word "brother", it could be a sign that you are in the friendzone. as pook said:

"you're like a brother to me" = "i consider sex with you to be incest"


sounds like youre getting some solid IOI's though...i would go for it.

invite her out somewhere. if she flakes, try to set up another time. if she doesn't commit to that, move on.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
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What was it exactly that she said? Often you being labeled like a brother can be disastrous, but it depends on the context. Some advise that you treat some women as if they were your bratty little sister, so sometimes a woman might pick up on this. This is probably for the right reasons, though, rather than because your being friendzoned.

So, what was her exact quote?
 

Hughman

Senior Don Juan
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Increase the flirting, more kino, more ****iness, then deny her a bit to mess with her head/be seen being sexual with other girls. See her responses then proceed to decide on asking for a date. It's the best you can do under the circumstances.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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