"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Dealing with your drunken friends

AlwaysExcel

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Hey all! I've searched for this topic but can't seem to find anything relevant.
Basically, I'm wondering how to gently deal with good but very drunk friends who join my conversations with girls and ruin them by being there. They'll make the situation less intimate, or less intelligent, or downright uncomfortable by talking very loudly right in the girl's face. I've tried to isolate the girl but alot of times, my friends will follow us. I don't think that they would if they weren't drunk.

Most of the time it's innocent. But sometimes it is a little underhanded. They are more comfortable hitting on the girl once they see me with her and use me as an in. One friend is so annoying. He always either comes up interrupting and trying to talk to me because he wants attention or he starts talking to her because he wants to hit on her or he slaps me on the back as he passes by. He was doing this so much one night that I smacked the sh*t out of him.

Anyhow, does anyone have tips or suggestions other than "get new friends" or "go out alone." Thanks!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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diablo

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From the sounds of it, I'd say loosen up a bit. Have a few drinks as well - your friends are having a good time, join them in it. The odds are that the girl you're speaking with will much prefer you over the drunken guy slurring his words coming up to your side. If it really is bothersome, I'd recommend talking with your friends about it when they are sober sometime. Explain what you're trying to do, and let them know that their ****blocking isn't appreciated. If they are your friends, they'll be fine with it (even drunk people can remember certain things)...

Whenever a drunk guy comes up and starts trying to bust through the conversation I'm having with whatever girl (whether I know the guy or not), I take him by the shoulder and give him a 'guy to guy' sort of voice, letting him know "Hey, that girl over there - the hot blonde with the great features - she was checking you out earlier, asking some of my friends if you were here with anyone..." Without fail, they'll go up to that person and make an ass out of themselves, leaving you alone with the girl.

Oh, I'd recommend moving away from that spot on the off chance they come back and want to have drunken words with you about misleading them... :p
 

So Many Ways

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What I've Done in the Past

I would try to isolate her away from them but that may not work if it's a small venue. The Bishop's approach might work better.
 

splinterkb

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Make some jokes about their stupidity at the time. It will give her a laugh, and your friends wont really feel offended since they're drunk. Girls don't really like huge alcoholics.
 

Crank_It_Up

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your friends are a bit jealous of your success, tell them to knock it off or you'll start going out alone
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Yotsuya-san

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It depends on where you are. If you're in a club with your friends, why are you trying to have a serious convo with her. That's not the time for the deep stuff. It's the time just to loosen up and have fun. Later, when your friends aren't with you. Plenty of time for the serious stuff .

Now if it's somewhere that you don't have to talk over the music, you might have a problem. But you might still get farther by keeping it light around your friends and saving the serious convo stuff for later when they're....errr....aren't around or otherwise occupied. Y'know. Out of the earshot of fools and all that...
 
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