"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dealing with girls with LONG term relationship pasts

F

Fumbduck

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Gentlemen,

A question regarding your experience with girls/women who have a LONG term relationship history, or only one or two real "relationships". What are your opinions on these types of women? I've been in a lengthy relationship way back in the day and I know the psychological effect it starts to take on the mind. Most notably "I have so much time invested in this person, I can't just give it up..."

So, in addition to my "plates" I met (a 22 year old) that to the best of my knowledge has "known" this guy for over 5 years. I'm not sure how long they've been dating but i can only assume it's a substantial amount of time (possibly over 4 years). Through the grapevine I've heard that she's been unhappy in the relationship for over a year, bla bla bla. So there could be an open door in the near future.

However, feelings do run deep in LONG relationships, especially in younger girls like this. I also know that should the guy make any attempt to get back with the girl after a breakup (should one come in the near future) she would be more likely to run back and "give another chance" than someone who got out of a shorter relationship.

How do you guys usually handle situations like this, or do you simply pass?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Masculinity

Masculinity

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I'm confused. What are you asking us? Be more direct.
 
I

Iceberg

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Yeah. Weird question.

Are girls out of long term relationships different than regular girls? No. Attraction is attraction. No matter where they come from or what their past is, it all comes down whether or not they're excited about you.

If it's a girl coming out of a 5-year relationship, or a girl who's never had one, they all have the same potential to run off to another man if you're boring them or acting like a wimp.
 
F

Fumbduck

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True,

Yeah it's an odd question. Basically you've just started talking to a girl who is CURRENTLY in a LONG term relationship. Through the grapevine, i have heard that the relationship has been rocky for the past year, and the girl is no longer satisfied by the boyfriend.

Sooo, my question is, have any of you guys had experience setting the groundwork/flirting with a girl who is currently in a rocky LONG term relationship, or a girl who recently got OUT of a LONG term relationship.

I'm curious if anyone has any success dating a girl who has recently come from a very long term relationship.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

I

Iceberg

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Fumbduck said:
True,

Yeah it's an odd question. Basically you've just started talking to a girl who is CURRENTLY in a LONG term relationship. Through the grapevine, i have heard that the relationship has been rocky for the past year, and the girl is no longer satisfied by the boyfriend.

Sooo, my question is, have any of you guys had experience setting the groundwork/flirting with a girl who is currently in a rocky LONG term relationship, or a girl who recently got OUT of a LONG term relationship.

I'm curious if anyone has any success dating a girl who has recently come from a very long term relationship.
Click to expand...
I've dated girls in all sorts of situations. Including this. The only advice I can say is, once again, girls are girls and attraction is attraction. You'd game her the same way you'd game a girl at the coffee shop. There's not a special recipe for LONG term relationship girls as opposed to any other type.

So, really...again...her LONG term relationship means nothing. A girl could date a guy for 5 months and be more passionate/heartbroken than a girl who dated a guy for 5 years. You gotta let go of that idea. There are no rules when it comes to emotion.

Either she's attracted to you or she's not. That's all it comes down to. How do you set groundwork? Same way you would with another chick. Talk to her, make her laugh, be a source of fun/excitement. Don't be needy.

Honestly, I'm getting the impression that you need to spin more plates, buddy.
 
T

The Bad Ass Canadian

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DO as you would do with any other girl, but don't invest too much time in this one. Even if she did break up and come to you, she'd be rebounding and that comes with all sorts of weird stuff. Good for a lay...bad for any sort of real relationship.

Depends on what you want out of this.
 
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