"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Dealing with anger issues...

DJMaC23

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So I have an anger issue that I definitely have to deal with...I get so angry at little things that my younger sisters do (or don't do), I find myself stressed out and angry from work (not enough competent help)....any good books or things you guys can recommend to help me with stress and anger?

I already go to the gym regularly, and I always do feel better after there but it's not really helping the problem much. If I were to go see a counselor I would have no clue what to tell them...any advice is appreciated, thank you
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MagnuM

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Learn to cope and relax. If it doesn't get better. See someone who can help you manage your anger. Get a hobby or find out what really makes your anger. Where it stems from. Eliminate it if possible.

or...


Xanax is small amounts.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Go to a professional and elaborate on what you said here. Tell them about the specific things that your sisters do that anger you, why you feel slighted at the perceived lack of competency of your coworkers. This will help you determine specifically what things tick you off and you can then look at something specific to help you work on the situation.
 
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The quack of all quacks, Sig Freud, would say it comes from your sexual desire for your mother or some stupid perverted shyt like that!!!

Don't take pills or go to counseling -- you know better than anyone else what the problem and solution is --- take note and tally everytime you get mad and a pattern will appear!!

You'll most likely find the answer to be that you have little patience or low tolerance for certain things! With me it's hors! :rolleyes:
 

MagnuM

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Go to a professional and elaborate on what you said here. Tell them about the specific things that your sisters do that anger you, why you feel slighted at the perceived lack of competency of your coworkers. This will help you determine specifically what things tick you off and you can then look at something specific to help you work on the situation.
Take this man's advice. He knows better. Been on the board longer.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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benjiprice

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DJMaC23 said:
So I have an anger issue that I definitely have to deal with...I get so angry at little things that my younger sisters do (or don't do), I find myself stressed out and angry from work (not enough competent help)....any good books or things you guys can recommend to help me with stress and anger?

I already go to the gym regularly, and I always do feel better after there but it's not really helping the problem much. If I were to go see a counselor I would have no clue what to tell them...any advice is appreciated, thank you
I've been watching David Deangelo's Deep Inner Game and it covers Anger, Anxiety and Stress. The material is presented by an MD called Dr. Paul. I haven't been able to put any of it into practice yet, so I don't know how effective it is. But at the least it has helped me understand feelings I've had in the past. So if you can get a copy, I would recommend it so that you can partially understand what you're going through.

Concerning the counselor, if he's good, he should be able to led you with the right questions, so I wouldn't be worried about knowing what to say.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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MagnuM said:
Take this man's advice. He knows better. Been on the board longer.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. :up: Don't let tenure be the primary reason though, I just haven't had the need to come back as a reincarnation from an old account.

I'll add something else about not half stepping and trying to solve an anger issue yourself. The underlying reasons for the cause of anger are often misdiagnosed by the general public. At best they self treat the symptoms of anger and just mask the actual cause. They don't understand that anger is a mask for another feeling which they either have not identified or can not emote effectively. This is very frustrating and cause anger.

So I say that if it's important enough to post a concern on an Internet forum, it's important enough to find the underlying reason that's causing the issue. Can someone find out on their own? It's possible but why expend the time and effort in the hopes of finding the solution? Isn't it important enough to get professional help to find the solution more readily?
 

Frenchconnection

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I've got a lot of anger in me too. I often internalize it and it ruins me both emotionally and physically.
I'm working on channeling it all out, not easy to do.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Frenchconnection said:
I've got a lot of anger in me too. I often internalize it and it ruins me both emotionally and physically.
I'm working on channeling it all out, not easy to do.
Kinda like trying to focus an ocean wave through a 2 inch pipe by just using a funnel?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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