"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Dealing with anger issues...

DJMaC23

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So I have an anger issue that I definitely have to deal with...I get so angry at little things that my younger sisters do (or don't do), I find myself stressed out and angry from work (not enough competent help)....any good books or things you guys can recommend to help me with stress and anger?

I already go to the gym regularly, and I always do feel better after there but it's not really helping the problem much. If I were to go see a counselor I would have no clue what to tell them...any advice is appreciated, thank you
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MagnuM

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Learn to cope and relax. If it doesn't get better. See someone who can help you manage your anger. Get a hobby or find out what really makes your anger. Where it stems from. Eliminate it if possible.

or...


Xanax is small amounts.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Go to a professional and elaborate on what you said here. Tell them about the specific things that your sisters do that anger you, why you feel slighted at the perceived lack of competency of your coworkers. This will help you determine specifically what things tick you off and you can then look at something specific to help you work on the situation.
 
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The quack of all quacks, Sig Freud, would say it comes from your sexual desire for your mother or some stupid perverted shyt like that!!!

Don't take pills or go to counseling -- you know better than anyone else what the problem and solution is --- take note and tally everytime you get mad and a pattern will appear!!

You'll most likely find the answer to be that you have little patience or low tolerance for certain things! With me it's hors! :rolleyes:
 

MagnuM

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Go to a professional and elaborate on what you said here. Tell them about the specific things that your sisters do that anger you, why you feel slighted at the perceived lack of competency of your coworkers. This will help you determine specifically what things tick you off and you can then look at something specific to help you work on the situation.
Take this man's advice. He knows better. Been on the board longer.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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benjiprice

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DJMaC23 said:
So I have an anger issue that I definitely have to deal with...I get so angry at little things that my younger sisters do (or don't do), I find myself stressed out and angry from work (not enough competent help)....any good books or things you guys can recommend to help me with stress and anger?

I already go to the gym regularly, and I always do feel better after there but it's not really helping the problem much. If I were to go see a counselor I would have no clue what to tell them...any advice is appreciated, thank you
I've been watching David Deangelo's Deep Inner Game and it covers Anger, Anxiety and Stress. The material is presented by an MD called Dr. Paul. I haven't been able to put any of it into practice yet, so I don't know how effective it is. But at the least it has helped me understand feelings I've had in the past. So if you can get a copy, I would recommend it so that you can partially understand what you're going through.

Concerning the counselor, if he's good, he should be able to led you with the right questions, so I wouldn't be worried about knowing what to say.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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MagnuM said:
Take this man's advice. He knows better. Been on the board longer.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. :up: Don't let tenure be the primary reason though, I just haven't had the need to come back as a reincarnation from an old account.

I'll add something else about not half stepping and trying to solve an anger issue yourself. The underlying reasons for the cause of anger are often misdiagnosed by the general public. At best they self treat the symptoms of anger and just mask the actual cause. They don't understand that anger is a mask for another feeling which they either have not identified or can not emote effectively. This is very frustrating and cause anger.

So I say that if it's important enough to post a concern on an Internet forum, it's important enough to find the underlying reason that's causing the issue. Can someone find out on their own? It's possible but why expend the time and effort in the hopes of finding the solution? Isn't it important enough to get professional help to find the solution more readily?
 

Frenchconnection

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I've got a lot of anger in me too. I often internalize it and it ruins me both emotionally and physically.
I'm working on channeling it all out, not easy to do.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Frenchconnection said:
I've got a lot of anger in me too. I often internalize it and it ruins me both emotionally and physically.
I'm working on channeling it all out, not easy to do.
Kinda like trying to focus an ocean wave through a 2 inch pipe by just using a funnel?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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