Luminescence
Don Juan
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Anyone have tips for dealing with smart ass douche's trying to undermine your social value and status?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dealing with alpha wannabe challengers?
- Thread starter Luminescence
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Sturmblitz
Don Juan
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Yeah. Honestly, context is everything... It's hard to give advice when we got nothing to work with.
Well, when I HAVE TO deal with douchebags, I like to just start a conversation and ask questions. Keep it cool and collected. Eventually, they trip themselves up by saying something stupid that makes them look like a big *******. Just gotta give them a chance.
You don't want to be aggressive and make the other guy look like a threat. You also don't want to agree with them or relate, or you might be dragged down as well. Just be diplomatic and say as little as possible!
Hope that helps. I know it's kinda vague... but I like to do things on the fly. Not much thinking.
You don't want to be aggressive and make the other guy look like a threat. You also don't want to agree with them or relate, or you might be dragged down as well. Just be diplomatic and say as little as possible!
Hope that helps. I know it's kinda vague... but I like to do things on the fly. Not much thinking.
Luminescence
Don Juan
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slaog said:Your first and main mistake is caring what they say or what people think.
Definitely the most adaptive response. It's the only thing that works every time, but it's less satisfying than directly putting them down in return.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Luminescence
Don Juan
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Well to be more specific, I'm talking about the type of individual who in a social setting seems to consciously make an effort to present himself as your superior by invalidating you.Sturmblitz said:
If you can't picture any scenarios resembling the above, then perhaps the advice you can provide will not be worth this response.
Sturmblitz
Don Juan
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Woah bud, I wasn't being a smartass, I'm just trying to offer some help... Giving a few details would never hurt.
That being said, you should respond to said wannabe alpha with coolness and indifference. You can't get worked up about it and get frustrated and confrontational, because then you're allowing him to control your emotions. At the same time, you can't just sit there and let him treat you like a *****. If he makes a kind of smartass remark, stand your ground, but don't be aggressive, because that shows that you feel threatened by him. You've gotta be cool; he's nothing to you. Just give him a smirk or scoff at him, or roll your eyes and just laugh at him when he tries to be boastful. Make it seem like you're just having to put up with his silly antics. Say something to bring him down from his self-proclaimed pedestal, something to diffuse his ego.
Or, a less satisfying alternative, is you can befriend him.
That being said, you should respond to said wannabe alpha with coolness and indifference. You can't get worked up about it and get frustrated and confrontational, because then you're allowing him to control your emotions. At the same time, you can't just sit there and let him treat you like a *****. If he makes a kind of smartass remark, stand your ground, but don't be aggressive, because that shows that you feel threatened by him. You've gotta be cool; he's nothing to you. Just give him a smirk or scoff at him, or roll your eyes and just laugh at him when he tries to be boastful. Make it seem like you're just having to put up with his silly antics. Say something to bring him down from his self-proclaimed pedestal, something to diffuse his ego.
Or, a less satisfying alternative, is you can befriend him.
kingsam
Master Don Juan
google "AMOGing"