"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Deadlifted 315lbs for the first time

firstbornunicorn

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Wanted to take it slow back in the gym after the corona situation.

My official working set was supposed to be 225lbs 3x5 and last set AMRAP(as many reps as possible).

Ended up doing 12 reps on the last set, should have been 4 or 5, so I was definitely loading the bar with too little weight.

So, after some pep talk from my gym buddy I decided to put an extra 90lbs on the bar. My hands couldn't handle it, so I ended up using some rubber bands as straps. Chick gym buddy said it moved easy. 4 plates before the summer starts here I go. @170lbs

Deadlifts have always intimidated me, but it was mostly in my head than in reality. My best squat was higher than my best deadlift until today.

How much are you guys pulling?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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FlexpertHamilton

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Nice work. 315 lbs is where I draw the line between noobs and real lifters, while 405lbs is a pretty respectable amount that not many men can do.

With mixed grip I can do 345-355 lbs for about 2-3 reps. I can't seem do more unless I gain more weight...but I'd rather be lean and strong relative to my body weight (~175 lbs) than strong and high body fat.

My grip is always my limiting factor though, even though my grip strength is quite strong. No amount of chalk seems to stop the bar from slipping off. It's definitely okay to use those lifting straps but I would only recommend using it once in a blue moon, since it doesn't build grip strength.

Does anyone use those grip strength trainers? If so, any recommendations?
 
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firstbornunicorn

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Nice work. 315 lbs is where I draw the line between noobs and real lifters, while 405lbs is a pretty respectable amount that not many men can do.

With mixed grip I can do 345-355 lbs for about 2-3 reps. I can't seem do more unless I gain more weight...but I'd rather be lean and strong relative to my body weight (~175 lbs) than strong and high body fat.

My grip is always my limiting factor though, even though my grip strength is quite strong. No amount of chalk seems to stop the bar from slipping off. It's definitely okay to use those lifting straps but I would only recommend using it once in a blue moon, since it doesn't build grip strength.

Does anyone use those grip strength trainers? If so, any recommendations?
Yeah my plans is to use straps only when it starts to slip, and reserve it for heavy days, and of course, reserve for working sets. Similarly to how I use a belt for squats. I need a belt now for 225lbs, but in 3-5 weeks I'll be doing beltless pause squats at 225 easy, and only put on the belt for my new max. Although I feel like having something to push against is better for my ab development.

It's sometimes hard to see what's realistic or not. On the internet everyone is benching 315lbs and deadlifting 500+lbs, but it's a damn hard to attain number for the non 0.1%. Regular gyms are a much more "real" environment to see what people are actually lifting.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Yeah my plans is to use straps only when it starts to slip, and reserve it for heavy days, and of course, reserve for working sets. Similarly to how I use a belt for squats. I need a belt now for 225lbs, but in 3-5 weeks I'll be doing beltless pause squats at 225 easy, and only put on the belt for my new max. Although I feel like having something to push against is better for my ab development.

It's sometimes hard to see what's realistic or not. On the internet everyone is benching 315lbs and deadlifting 500+lbs, but it's a damn hard to attain number for the non 0.1%. Regular gyms are a much more "real" environment to see what people are actually lifting.
Most of the internet warriors who make wild claims like that are either a) juicing b) lying or c) doing them in very poor form, especially squats or bench.

I've only ever seen a few guys deadlift over 500 lbs, and my gym has a fair share of serious lifters (a giant YMCA). I do occasionally see guys do ATG squats w/ belts at 405+ lbs though, that **** is insane to me. Not sure how much of a difference a belt makes, I've never tried one myself.
 
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TheProspect

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My grip is always my limiting factor though, even though my grip strength is quite strong. No amount of chalk seems to stop the bar from slipping off. It's definitely okay to use those lifting straps but I would only recommend using it once in a blue moon, since it doesn't build grip strength.

Does anyone use those grip strength trainers? If so, any recommendations?
I have pretty good grip strength.

I don’t recommend using any of those gimmicky grip strength trainers.

Instead, if you want to improve your grip strength functionally, I recommend farmer’s walks and dead bar hangs. Also, do as many of your warmup sets as possible without using chalk, straps, or a mixed grip. Learn also how to mitigate clammy/sweaty hands without chalk (proper breathing and calming your nerves before a set, etc) as they are often more responsible for the bar slipping then your actual grip strength.

I don’t lift above 315lbs anymore (because my fitness goals are different these days), but when I did, I wouldn’t use a mixed grip until about 375 lbs.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Robert28

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I do 135x15 to warm up and then 4x10 with 225. Then I’ll do one set with 275-285 for 5. Couldn’t tell you what my max is but that’s what I’ve been doing. Oh and I don’t deadlift every week, usually do it once every 2 weeks. I never squat either anymore. Instead I run steps, do 60-90 30” box jumps, waking lunges, just about any leg exercise you can think of.
92608E67-7FED-4692-837C-C5E39F449846.jpeg
 

EyeBRollin

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I deadlift 365 lbs at 165 lb body weight. However, I am an ectomorph and have long arms relative to my height. Therefore low range of motion. Squats are harder for me. I can do 315 lbs for a set of 3 on squats.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I have pretty good grip strength.

I don’t recommend using any of those gimmicky grip strength trainers.

Instead, if you want to improve your grip strength functionally, I recommend farmer’s walks and dead bar hangs. Also, do as many of your warmup sets as possible without using chalk, straps, or a mixed grip. Learn also how to mitigate clammy/sweaty hands without chalk (proper breathing and calming your nerves before a set, etc) as they are often more responsible for the bar slipping then your actual grip strength.

I don’t lift above 315lbs anymore (because my fitness goals are different these days), but when I did, I wouldn’t use a mixed grip until about 375 lbs.
I do all of those things, you mentioned actually. It's an ongoing struggle. I used to do a ton of farmers walks with kettlebells, literally every workout, but it barely made a difference in my DLs. I'll try doing more deadhangs, especially with weights on me.

Issue is that my palms are oil and sweat factories, and get moist even with chalk, it's not a nerve issue though.

I don't see why grip trainers wouldn't work though, and I like the idea of being able to use them while lounging around at work.
 
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Robert28

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I do all of those things, you mentioned actually. It's an ongoing struggle. I used to do a ton of farmers walks with kettlebells, literally every workout, but it barely made a difference in my DLs. I'll try doing more deadhangs, especially with weights on me.

Issue is that my palms are oil and sweat factories, and get moist even with chalk, it's not a nerve issue though.

I don't see why grip trainers wouldn't work though, and I like the idea of being able to use them while lounging around at work.
Honestly the best way to strengthen your grip for deadlifts……is doing deadlifts. When you deadlift you’re using way more than just your hands, you’re using forearms, shoulders, lats, etc. I use mixed grip, it’s the only grip that works for me. Another tip I’ll give you is to keep the bar as close to your shins as possible when you lift and lower. Almost scrape your shins. This will help you keep your back straight and good form. You’ll know you’ve done deadlifts right when more muscles than your back are sore. In fact, my lower back never gets sore from them, it’s the middle of my back, my lats, my biceps.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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FlexpertHamilton

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Honestly the best way to strengthen your grip for deadlifts……is doing deadlifts. When you deadlift you’re using way more than just your hands, you’re using forearms, shoulders, lats, etc. I use mixed grip, it’s the only grip that works for me. Another tip I’ll give you is to keep the bar as close to your shins as possible when you lift and lower. Almost scrape your shins. This will help you keep your back straight and good form. You’ll know you’ve done deadlifts right when more muscles than your back are sore. In fact, my lower back never gets sore from them, it’s the middle of my back, my lats, my biceps.
Yeah, my form is pretty good and in line with how you described. And I do habitually hold the bar at the top of the lifts too, even at the heavier weights.

Mixed grip works great but it feels like a crutch. I want to be able to deadlift at least 315 lbs without needing to mix grip the bar. It just seems impossible to "leverage" the bar at those sorts of weights when doing normal grip.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Wanted to take it slow back in the gym after the corona situation.

My official working set was supposed to be 225lbs 3x5 and last set AMRAP(as many reps as possible).

Ended up doing 12 reps on the last set, should have been 4 or 5, so I was definitely loading the bar with too little weight.

So, after some pep talk from my gym buddy I decided to put an extra 90lbs on the bar. My hands couldn't handle it, so I ended up using some rubber bands as straps. Chick gym buddy said it moved easy. 4 plates before the summer starts here I go. @170lbs

Deadlifts have always intimidated me, but it was mostly in my head than in reality. My best squat was higher than my best deadlift until today.

How much are you guys pulling?
Max deadlift was 565 lbs about 4 years ago when I was in phenomenal shape at 188 lbs. Used to rep 485 and 505. Haven't done anything close to that in a long time. In fact I no longer lift weights, I use heavy resistance bands due to being much easier on my joints.

Just be careful bro...I pushed myself to lift weights not many people ever will and I paid for it with injuries. Looking back, it wasn't worth it.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Max deadlift was 565 lbs about 4 years ago when I was in phenomenal shape at 188 lbs. Used to rep 485 and 505. Haven't done anything close to that in a long time. In fact I no longer lift weights, I use heavy resistance bands due to being much easier on my joints.

Just be careful bro...I pushed myself to lift weights not many people ever will and I paid for it with injuries. Looking back, it wasn't worth it.
In theory, if you acclimate yourself slowly w/ good form, enough instead of jumping weights too aggressively, shouldn't injuries be unlikely? After all, lifting increases your bone density as well.
 

BackInTheGame78

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In theory, if you acclimate yourself slowly w/ good form, enough instead of jumping weights too aggressively, shouldn't injuries be unlikely? After all, lifting increases your bone density as well.
At some point the body just says enough is enough. Everyone's body has a limit before it's going to break down eventually. At 41 years old, I probably didn't need to be pushing that type of weight.
 

firstbornunicorn

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At some point the body just says enough is enough. Everyone's body has a limit before it's going to break down eventually. At 41 years old, I probably didn't need to be pushing that type of weight.
Man I'm happy if I get to 405lbs. I'm not a weightlifter or a bodybuilder. My main sport is running these days
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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