Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Dude...that sh*t doesn't matterOriginally posted by david90
Will tips from good looking DJs work with below avg looking guys? Reading some of the post here I see that some guys have it so easy while i'm having such a hard time.
Originally posted by david90
Will tips from good looking DJs work with below avg looking guys? Reading some of the post here I see that some guys have it so easy while i'm having such a hard time.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Originally posted by smoke city
[B
3. Some guys "have it easy" because the just GET IT. I know some guys who just know how to talk to a woman. I didn't understand this at first, and it pissed me off, but over the past year I have realized that this is THE NUMBER 1 MOST IMPORTANT THING. Over the past year, since i have been working on this skill, I have had more successes with women than in all my other years since i was a teenager -- COMBINED.
guys keep at it -- I think I was even more skeptical than a lot of you just 18 months ago. YOU WILL have more success. [/B]
Originally posted by smoke city
Hey B.
the "skill" I'm talking about is a compilation of a lot of things. The first thing I worked on was what most guys here call "inner game" [it's an ongoing process though]. i wanted first to get a handle on my beliefs about women and about myself as a man...i think the more solid you are on these things, the more confidently you can approach the game. also i wanted to get a clear picture of the "ideal me" that i wanted to become. For this stage I really recommend reading a lot -- anything by david deida is good...also the david deangelo DVD series has some good material (even some meditation exercises) for this stuff.
I also thought a lot about psychology, and my interactions with people -- i FINALLY came to terms with the fact that you MUST interact with women differently than with men. on an emotional level, women just respond to different things than we do. So I tried my best to learn *exactly what that is. Now this is an ongoing process, and it's where "field experience" comes into play. watching more experienced guys, and then simple trial and error is the BEST way to learn how to talk to women. and this is THE most important skill to learn on your path.
one of my most recent female companions said to me one night:
"You know, I don't go for the most gorgeous or the fittest guys -- they don't think they need to know how to treat a woman. I like the players b/c they focus on making me feel good. You make me feel good inside."
So i think your suspicions are correct.
I'm working now on the "icing" -- getting a bit more style, getting into great shape, and learning to project a sexy and mysterious appearance. Yes I think that if you are doing everything else right, you can really do great even without this stuff (just wear clean clothes and don't stink). I have had tons of success in the past year and haven't given a damn about my looks.
hope that helps...