"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
dating tips from good and bad looking guys
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
white cloud 8
Senior Don Juan
Dude...that sh*t doesn't matter
. You need to work on your self-confidence, you don't need to be asking someone else for tips, you need to ask yourself these questions. The answer comes from within *YOU*.DonJuanMonk
Master Don Juan
The difference is the two approaches, be confident and masculine and everything will fit nicely.
The people that are really good at this stuff (shezzler, JC jerkson, etc) have been fine tuning their PU game for months and sometimes years. If you have only approached 5 women a week, that is not enough. If you havent been rejected 100 times its not enough.
I am in your boat though, I sometimes feel like its not working.
smoke city
Don Juan
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1. I'm not great looking or in great shape (these days i'm about 20 lbs overweight), but I haven't gone a week without a date in the past year. I have one friend who is very good-looking. He does much worse with women than i do. totally clueless. The guys who i've met who are totally unstoppable (e.g. sleeping with 3-4 girls in 24 hrs.) were not the best looking guys -- none of them as good looking as me. they just knew how to talk to women.
2. What is your standard for "good-looking?" you sound like a bunch of chicks. You don't have to have a model's face or brad pitt's golden locks to be considered good looking to women. There is a VERY easy recipe for this. really all you need to do is be in great shape, have a decent haircut (buzz your hair off if you don't like it--women like this look), a nice cologne, and stylish flattering clothes. Also learn how to move and speak in a mysterious, confident, sexy way. I guarantee that just about ANY guy here can become "good-looking" to almost EVERY woman within 6 months by improving these things. so stop complaining about the "looks" issue -- You have control over almost EVERY relevant factor when it comes to your looks, so this is NOT AN ISSUE.
3. Some guys "have it easy" because the just GET IT. I know some guys who just know how to talk to a woman. I didn't understand this at first, and it pissed me off, but over the past year I have realized that this is THE NUMBER 1 MOST IMPORTANT THING. Over the past year, since i have been working on this skill, I have had more successes with women than in all my other years since i was a teenager -- COMBINED.
guys keep at it -- I think I was even more skeptical than a lot of you just 18 months ago. YOU WILL have more success.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I totally agree with you on your first 2 points. I used to think looks matter, until I read "The Game" and heard Neil Strauss (Style) in a phone conference. I know fully believe looks don't matter.
My question for you is, you say "Over the past year, since i have been working on this skill"
What skill are you referring to? How did you change things around? PM me if you don't want to post here. Thank you,
B
smoke city
Don Juan
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the "skill" I'm talking about is a compilation of a lot of things. The first thing I worked on was what most guys here call "inner game" [it's an ongoing process though]. i wanted first to get a handle on my beliefs about women and about myself as a man...i think the more solid you are on these things, the more confidently you can approach the game. also i wanted to get a clear picture of the "ideal me" that i wanted to become. For this stage I really recommend reading a lot -- anything by david deida is good...also the david deangelo DVD series has some good material (even some meditation exercises) for this stuff.
I also thought a lot about psychology, and my interactions with people -- i FINALLY came to terms with the fact that you MUST interact with women differently than with men. on an emotional level, women just respond to different things than we do. So I tried my best to learn *exactly what that is. Now this is an ongoing process, and it's where "field experience" comes into play. watching more experienced guys, and then simple trial and error is the BEST way to learn how to talk to women. and this is THE most important skill to learn on your path.
one of my most recent female companions said to me one night:
"You know, I don't go for the most gorgeous or the fittest guys -- they don't think they need to know how to treat a woman. I like the players b/c they focus on making me feel good. You make me feel good inside."
So i think your suspicions are correct.
I'm working now on the "icing" -- getting a bit more style, getting into great shape, and learning to project a sexy and mysterious appearance. Yes I think that if you are doing everything else right, you can really do great even without this stuff (just wear clean clothes and don't stink). I have had tons of success in the past year and haven't given a damn about my looks.
hope that helps...