dating married chicks

[FratAndDiddy]

i need some advice from some of you older more experienced DJ's out there.

a couple years back i went thru one hell of a divorce. it really tightened me up and i went after female revenge by screwing anything i could get my hands on and then dumping them. in this process of "revenge," i ran into a good friend i hadn't seen in years and told him what my cuurent status was and my revenge game. he said he got ripped up by a ugly divorce years back too and switched to married chickies.

i figured "what the hell" and decided to add it to my revenge strategy. i've ran acrossed married chicks before and did em up but never thought it was safe way to live. but, the more my buddy talked the more it sounded good.

since i had my clock cleaned extremely by the last wife, i became very noncomittal and wanted nothing serious from a woman except serious "wham bam thank ya maam."

the married chicks sounded like my best solution. you know, no comittments, don't have to wine-and-dine them, see them once a week or so for the usual hour session, make them buy me things, and still do my regular everyday stuff. very convienient.

in the process i've become hooked on this behavior. i meet a single chick nowadays and i'm not really interested because i may end up doing the dating comittment thing.

my problem is this:
i know its not right to do the married chickie thing and i currently got 2 of them i jugle, but i'm tired of it and i'm ready to send them on their insecure way. there's no future in this except i get to please someone's AFC's wife and get some clawmarks on my back.

i'm just hooked guys cause i've created this "monster" for myself, but still fear the dating single chicks and the dating routine. sooner or later, one of these chickies is going to flap her blabby wings about me to her husband and i'll really have a nice mess on my hands. i've came back to this board because i'm changing by becoming more relaxed with myself and now i feel guilty.

any experienced advice from anyone or any advice from someone else who might have created their own monster like this?

 

[gentleman193]

I don't see what the monster is. It seems ideal. Can you elaborate on what the actual problems is?

 

[FratAndDiddy]

well, i call it a monster cause i'm trapped from my own doings.

it's not easy dumping married chicks because it may backfire on me. this all sounds like fun and it is at times, but i have to be careful what i say to people, stay out of certain areas of town so that i don't run into them doing their married thing and i'm always checking over my shoulder on who may be watching me.

about a week ago, one of them came over here for her "dose" and told me how she got so mad at him today that she came very close to telling him what she has been doing and then ask me if it would be ok if she came to my place and stay. she said she loves me better than him and she doesn't want to pretend anymore !
JESUS H WOMAN ! ARE YOU NUTS !!!! apparently she doesn't look at the game the way i do and the sh1t is getting sticky here on the homefront.

i created this game and they're just toys to me, but now i'm in a pinch from my own actions.

i just got this feeling that i can't move on. i'm in a lazy rut with these women and i'm really not going forward with my life. thus, i call it a monster because i have trapped myself from moving forward. it's like my only purpose now in life is to be around for the pleasure of these women.

 

[dietzcoi]

Very dangerous and a bad idea. These things can never have a good ending....

After I was separated but not yest divorced (and believe me I understand your story...) and still AFC I got involved with a married woman due to lonelyness.

It almost ruined me! The husband suspected, the woman was shaky as hell and the word somehow got out in the community.

I was only saved by moving to a new job and a new town.

I would advise against it. You think it is easier because you avoid the committment BS, but you bring a whole new cast of issues down on your head. Including bodily harm or death!

MY advice is go with the single ones and just deal with the committment issue.

How to get away from the psycho who wants to move iN? I don't know.. I got away by moving away... in your case you may have to really handle her with kid gloves and somehow get her to reconcile withthe husband. Otherwise you will have a hot potato to juggle...

Dietzcoi

 

[Austin Allegro]

In the days of the British Empire, adultery was known as the 'colonial sport'. Basically it was the only way you could play around and it was fairly safe because divorce was practically unheard of.

Nowadays people divorce at the drop of a hat and this has changed the situation.

I would personally advise against this behaviour, and I think you should wean yourself off it by looking at the downside.

You say you like the married women because there's no danger of committment. Actually I think there is just as much, if not more danger of committment.

If these women feel 'trapped' in their marriages, they may not just want a weekly 'session' - they may want to exchange one marriage for another and then things could get very messy.

Apart from the possibility of physical violence from the husband, think of the legal ramifications. A friend of mine who cheated with a married woman was cited as co-respondent in the divorce case - not much fun.

While I realise you don't want committed relationship, I think this could be done without adultery, there are plenty of single women who are willing to do this.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

My problem with you is,

you say you don't want committment and you dont really want to get into the dating routine.

However you also say you look over your shoulders, you and whatever married chic you hook up with have to go to places that she isn't known in. You have to go to places where she probably isn't gonna see people her or her husband knows. ANd the story goes on.

I'm sorry, but it sounds like this is being more "committed" to being uncommitted then actually committing to anything ever would be.

The biggest fear of hooking up with a married chic is, the husband.

Maybe he's an AFC or maybe he's cheating on her. Maybe he's a busy AFC businessman or maybe he's a busy DJ businessman. No matter what, you dont' know who this man is. You probably dont' care, but to me, it seems like your committing more to the idea of sleeping with "married" women then anything else. Even though you hate to committ right now.

And if there are any kids involved with this married women, it is never a good thing.

Maybe the husband isn't gonna go nuts because his wife cheats on him, but as you say, it's "WHAM BAM THANK U MAM" to this married women, don't be surprised if you're looking over your shoulders not only because of the husband, but also because of the kids.

Too much BS is involved with married women.

You say you hate committment, but you're taking too many risks being involved in this "non-committed" lifestyle.

Seems to me, you are more committed to something then you thought.

 

[Don_Marko]

Dangerous Games

Why don't you just dump them after a while? The more you keep on seeing a particular woman, higher the risk her husband will find out about you, but if you got rid of them after a couple of sessions and kept on adding new women into the rotation.
You would diversify and spread the risk!

 

[ShortTimer]

Step it up a notch: TELL ONE OF THE HUSBANDS. But don’t do this to hurt the guy, do this to get him on your side. Once he knows his wife is a cheating ho he’ll be out for revenge and if you’re suave enough then you can get him on your side to HELP him get that revenge.

He’ll probably want a divorce or to see her humiliated. Maybe you could secretly video tape you and her having sex so you can show the judge she’s a cheating ho, or do something else nasty so she’s declared an unfit mother. Keep a copy of the tape for yourself so you can send copies to all of her family and friends so everyone else knows she’s a cheating ho. Maybe reveal it with her hubby at a Xmas party and say something like “so baby you want a three some? Me, you and your hubby?”

How about playing a game where you tie her to the bed, then have her hubby come in and watch while three of your closest large black male friends come in and make her a three-hole babe. The possibilities are limitless once you give in to your hate and join the dark side.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by FratAndDiddy
i need some advice from some of you older more experienced DJ's out there.

a couple years back i went thru one hell of a divorce. it really tightened me up and i went after female revenge by screwing anything i could get my hands on and then dumping them. in this process of "revenge," i ran into a good friend i hadn't seen in years and told him what my cuurent status was and my revenge game. he said he got ripped up by a ugly divorce years back too and switched to married chickies.

i figured "what the hell" and decided to add it to my revenge strategy. i've ran acrossed married chicks before and did em up but never thought it was safe way to live. but, the more my buddy talked the more it sounded good.

since i had my clock cleaned extremely by the last wife, i became very noncomittal and wanted nothing serious from a woman except serious "wham bam thank ya maam."

the married chicks sounded like my best solution. you know, no comittments, don't have to wine-and-dine them, see them once a week or so for the usual hour session, make them buy me things, and still do my regular everyday stuff. very convienient.

in the process i've become hooked on this behavior. i meet a single chick nowadays and i'm not really interested because i may end up doing the dating comittment thing.

my problem is this:
i know its not right to do the married chickie thing and i currently got 2 of them i jugle, but i'm tired of it and i'm ready to send them on their insecure way. there's no future in this except i get to please someone's AFC's wife and get some clawmarks on my back.

i'm just hooked guys cause i've created this "monster" for myself, but still fear the dating single chicks and the dating routine. sooner or later, one of these chickies is going to flap her blabby wings about me to her husband and i'll really have a nice mess on my hands. i've came back to this board because i'm changing by becoming more relaxed with myself and now i feel guilty.

any experienced advice from anyone or any advice from someone else who might have created their own monster like this?

Dude, it's never as simple as taking a married chick and screwing her brains out. You can count on having to deal with the unexpected. If she's having an affair then she may be looking for a way out of her current relationship and you're probably her ride down freedom road. It's also not out of the realm of possibility that she decides that you're the one for her; the one she should have married; the one that rocks her world, and one that she's going to go home and tell hubby about as she's packing her bags.

Do you have a death wish? I assume not. Do you wish to have a near death experience? I assume not. Want a broken leg? No?

Then stay away from married women. They are Trouble with a capital T. It's rarely as simple as just screwing them.

There are one hell of a lot of middle aged single women around and I don't think we need to resort to banging some poor smuck's wife. Now if she's already left said smuck, then screw away with abandon.

 

[WestCoaster]

Yeah, find a single one to date

Other than I think it's morally wrong, you risk lawsuits, drama, perhaps violence, all kinds of stuff ... is it worth it? Uh, no.

Plus, you've been married three times yourself, you know what you're getting into with a married woman. Why not date a single woman? You should have enough DJ skills to be able to date nice, single women. And if you find them clingy, desparate, or pushing a relationship you don't want, again, you should have enough DJ skills to combat that.

No reason to go down the cheating path ... not one reason at all.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

you probably just needed to get this out of your system. a divorce such as yours can make you so bitter--for good reason. you've probably dreamed about killing your ex! i know you have. so what you're doing doesn't seem so bad, as long as it's two consenting adults.

but...are you going to do this forever? you already said you're starting to look over your back. it isn't worth it. long term it will drag you down. it sounds like it already is, so cut the cord on it.

i'd start thinking about hitting up chicks that aren't married. there are plenty of them around, especially the mid-thirties crowd--just as horny too. many of them just want a diick.

 

[NewMan]

Interesting and understandable how this can arise.

For me the work involved with married chicks is just far to great. You've got to keep you sh#t tight - make sure no one see's you etc etc.

If you actually think about it, there's really no difference (commitment wise) between a married and single chick. Because at the end of the day, how many of these married women are just looking for sex? probably a small percentage of them. Most of these married women are looking to get out of this boring hole they've dug themselves into. Kids, a boring husband (who's working his a## off to keep a roof of her head by the way) and generally a boring life, where to only highlight is the attention she's getting from you.

Which is all well and good if that's how it would stay - but we all know different.

Because - and let's face it - any woman who fvcks around and does this sh#t has deeper issues at hand.

So putting this in perspective - your fvcking the lowest percentage of women (in terms of mental stability and morals). I don't think it's going to take long before you fvck that crazy b#tch -who end up falling for you hard - telling her husband (which maybe the least of your problems) - or even worse she comes to you because she's pregenant.

These chicks are crazy.

Perhaps you should re-think how you deal with single women. No all want commitment.

One thing to be is honest with what you want up front. tell them that you don't want anything serious - you'll be surprised by how many women will be fine with that especially if your fun to be around.

Having said all of this also remember that there are some great women out there. It may take you a while to find one, but you've got to be willing to put yourself out there in order to find the good ones.

Luck.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

yep, keep it coming guys, i deserve to be clobbered on this mess i created.

yeah, i was full of piss and vinegar after that last divorce and it left a revengeful taste in my mouth but i should've never got into this married chick thing.

you guys have posted some good stuff i never gave much thought and now i realize how stupid i've been by playing with fire.

this post is the main reason i came back. i can't talk about this to just anyone and i needed to tell someone about it and get the counselling i deserve.
.
yeah, i got enough "stuff" in me to bag a decent chick (single of course), i know the rules of the game out there after being clobbered by females most of my life and i know what i want.
i've just been a fool of late and needed you guys to wake me up.

sounds like it is time to pick up my ammunition and start backing my way out. i've been contemplating a move to memphis.....i think it's time to pack up the u-haul under the cover of darkness and get out of Dodge while i still am physically capable!

 

[WestCoaster]

Re: Of concern here

Originally posted by FratAndDiddy
in the process i've become hooked on this behavior. i meet a single chick nowadays and i'm not really interested because i may end up doing the dating comittment thing.

F & D, thanks for posting and thanks for taking our advice. The above quote is of concern because it says, "You may end up doing the dating commitment thing."

Then again you may not. You are in control of the dating commitment thing. Sounds like you "fall" in and out of relationships without thought or control.

Remember your DJ playbook and you decide whether or not a woman is worth hanging onto in life. The reason I say this is from experience, where I had no blueprint or reason why I was dating a woman other than that I was attracted to her. It was "falling" in love, not really thinking about it. I know it doesn't sound romantic, "falling" does. It also sounds helpless.

What this site has provided for us is a handy set of guidelines that aren't out there on the general market and weren't taught by our parents, bless their hearts anyway.

 

[Hypoxia II]

The possibilities are limitless once you give in to your hate and join the dark side.

HAHAHAHA!!!! too funny.

now come on, for real...

When a relationship ends badly its common to feel bitter like you do. I know because I went through it, I have many friends who went through it also.. But listen to these guys, their right.. She could be using you as an escape from her problem relationship.

It doesn't matter if her husband is an AFC or MR Universe. Two wrongs never make a right, EVER. If anything, you are lowering yourself by doing this. My suggestion to you is to get past whatever bitterness you still have first, then go after whatever you want. I went out for revenge when my relationship crashed also, but now that i'm past all the bitter feelings I enjoy things much more now, and I think that the revenge f@king did more harm than good..

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Frat, I fail to see your dilemna and your hesitatation to dating single women in preference to married women worrys me.

Married women are the worst case scenarios with way too much drama!! Your thinking is backwards - it is the single women who are less complicated and bring less hassles - not the married woman!

What you really fear is yourself and lack of discipline to stick to a non-committed relationship that doesn't lead to marriage. Do you fall in love too easily?? Or is it that you feel obligated to only one women??

'Dating' should be solely reserved for women who are 'dating' and not married!

You would hate to be known at your funeral as the fool who got shot and died over a married hor's indiscretions!!!

A married hor is of the worst kind of hor and will stop at nothing to get her wayand/or hurt others without regard or mercy - RUN!!!!

 

[FratAndDiddy]

good question PRL
about time someone pinned me down to look inward to myself.

my habits in the past were determined by kids. the first 2 i married because i knocked them up and felt an obligation to be a full-time dad and the last one i married was out of convenience.


to mention the word "love" i honestly believe it's never truly hit me. i never had the feelings that they had for me and thats why i believe i stumbled through these marriages. i guess i've never met anyone who's knocked my socks off yet.
back to the subject.

fall in love easy? i think it's more like i'm manipulated easy. i have let myself been captured by the dominate ones and controlled. my fault.

as far as obligation to one woman? when your dominated, you don't have the time cause your being watched and controlled.

fearing myself? yep, have for years, that's why i've hung around sluts my whole life because i didn't respect myself, grow a pair and acquire a backbone. but thanks to the good advice, the good self-analysis questions, and trying to help others with theirs, i'm seeing the light.

an update to these married broads:

one has been dumped and the other i'm wearing white gloves around. this one has been cut from the pipeline. i'm hoping she'll get the message and fade away.

 

[dietzcoi]

Wow, this is like reading my own life story except I only knocked one up and remained married to her for 15 years. I too was controled by kids and had no real love at all....

FratandDiddy, welcome to the real world. When I woke up from the matrix it was great...now you are out too. Run off the married women and start living your life!

Welcome!

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

F&D ... see where no DJ skills can get you?

Frat & ... tough story there, but my guess is you never had DJ skills. Hey, I never had many either until I discovered this board. However, I did vow to myself at an early age that there were two areas in which I would never compromise: career and life-long partner.

I guess I had some DJ skills I didn't know about. No reason to settle in either area. When my career wasn't going well, I moved to a better situation. I haven't had a ton of girlfriends, but I knew when one wasn't right. I'd rather be single the rest of my life than live with the wrong person. Loneliness I can handle; being demeaned, used, or controlled, I can't handle and won't handle.

F & D and Dietz, the problem we have is this DJ stuff may have been around, but there was no dispensing of the information until this site. Still, it's rather undercover. Look at the self-help books at your local bookstore. The stuff is so far from DJism it's not even funny. Even DJism isn't understood by 80 percent of the posters on this site.

It's about maintaining composure and cool amidst life's twists and turns, and it's about taking ownership of one's life. Yes, it's also about meeting women, but it's about meeting them, dating them while at the same time improving your own best qualities.

Too bad you had to go through the marriage and kids to get to where you are. If you had DJ skills at 18 or 20, none of this would've happened. I'm very envious of the high school kids on this site (who take the DJ Bible seriously), they don't know how valuable this stuff is. It's practically life saving.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

amen WestCoaster !

where was this board when i (we) was younger ?

my trouble was i didn't have a dad (he was one of the first to die in Nam, even though our great government would'nt recognize this until years later) and then i also joined the marines when very young. i didn't have many female contacts in there and was TOTALLY stupid when i was discharged. i mean TOTALLY !
before i joined the military, i was manipulated by a woman in her 30's. this further screwed-up my concept of the way women act.
i believe this is how i got caught up in the married chickie thing because i was taught to be used by women and to be there for THEIR convenience.

my biggest problem was that i'm not a bad looking man and received college from the GI Bill was used by women to further thenselves and their low-life status in life. i fell for it all. if it wasn't for my career, i would be sunk deeper than the titanic thru divorces and child support.

i posted this thread to warn others of the consequences of being a chump and getting sucked in by our own ignorance. i also wanted to post this to help anyone out there who may be leading themselves down the same path.

don't EVER give up on yourselves guys, dont EVER !