"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Dating in the Work Place

octane_orphan

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Hey all, after some advice......

Currently working as a full time manager in an open plan office environment of about 20 staff. One of which is def a HB8/9, is my age, similar backgrounds, she is also same level of seniority as me within the office. We get on well etc but I am unsure whether to ask her out.

Does anyone have any experience of this? There was a statistic that 65% of people meet their partner in the work place (Don’t have oneitus!) so that a bonus … whats the down side? Bit worried about it not working out and having to see her everyday.

Anyone have any experience of this?

Sorry did a search and can find little to no info on this subject.

Ta

Oct
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DJDamage

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Unless you are willing to lose your job don't do it. It might be true that 65% of people meet their partner in the workplace but they didn't tell you that about 80% of all relationships don't go anywhere. Meaning that it is more likely that this relationship will end sometimes in the near future then for you to get married to her.

From Experience I can tell you that if you fall in love with her and she dumps you for another guy in the office and its a job that you love/need, it makes things hard going to work everyday and relieving the hurt everyday instead find a woman outside of work and when and if it will be over you won't have to see her ever again.

Not to mention if she ends up being the revengeful type, she will make your life misreable and you could be dismissed for sexual harassment. The pitfalls are bigger and greater then the rewards.
 

octane_orphan

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... I didnt mention that I am currently going through the recruitment process for a job in London. I am wondering whether just to ask her out and even if she says no it no great loss. If she says yes then I will deal with it as it come of i get the london job or not. She seams a sensible girl and I dont think she would want grief or ackwardness either ...
 

Not Quite There

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I would just go for it mate, yes it could go badly, but it could also go really well!! plus, you'll never know unless you try.
 

Julian

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i cant believe i would even have to say this to a dude 6 years older then me, but as the saying goes "Dont dip your pen in the company inkwell".
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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octane_orphan

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I think that would be true if you used alot of ink! ... ie you where the organisational don juan hitting on anyone with a pulse ... I am surprised someone your age knew what a inkwell was ;) lol
 

JohnJones

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Contrary to all rules, I am in an LTR with someone my same level in a large firm (I'm a lawyer).

We never work together and never would.

The critical issue is to remember what's said above about what happens if it doesn't work out and she ends up with someone else. If that pulls your heartstrings, don't do it.

Sexual harrasment claims are probably more widely feared than they are actually made, but I assume that you know the girl enough to know whether she's a wack job or not (again, a judgment call).

As to the revenge angle, again its a matter of the quality of woman.
 

octane_orphan

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Sound like a similar situation.

I dont work with her just in the same office, dont think there will be any chance of use working together as we both work on different projects.

She is smart, classy and not what i would call the emotionally unstable type or revengeful type ... i have been there :s

Cant see her dating anyone else in the office as it female dominated and all the blokes are either married, alot older or both :)

F--k it I will ask her ... I am actually looking forward to this now :) ... Game on ;)
 

diplomatic_lie

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1) If she's below you, then she could be accused of sleeping her way to the top

2) If she's above you, then you could be accused

3) If you break up on bad terms, watch the rumours and sexual harrassment lawsuits fly

4) If you break up on good terms, you can also watch the rumours fly
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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cave dweller

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bread.....

Hey,

Don't put your meat where you get your bread.

cave dweller
 

JohnJones

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I should add that I've been perpetually inclined to find another job since I've been here (playing the Challenge can work in the office too), so if it didn't work out with her, I can and am happy to go someplace else.
 
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