"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dating help. Havnt dated in years.

S

SpazzAttackk

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Basically what I need help with is how often I should be contacting her without coming off as not-interested, or coming off as too needy.


So, Ive recently started seeing this girl. I was supposed to meet her parents over dinner at her place.. but because weve never actually hung out before in the past or never really spoke, I replanned it so it would just be me taking her out for dinner so I can get to know her better. Resulting in me being more comfortable meeting her parents in the future.

Date goes by, everything goes smooth. Sealed with a kiss at the end of the meal, went back to her place for 30 minutes. Kissed a bit, no real intense make out sessions (For good reasons) but kissing and a lot of touching.

Had to leave, she wanted me to stay and she dragged it out for as long as she could. When I got home I decided to wait 2 days before making a follow up date. On the second day she messages (She basically initiated the convo) me and asked if I had fun. Made some small talk and now we have a follow up for friday. That was on Tuesday. Since Tuesday I havnt messaged or called her. The dates in 2 days, should I start up some small talk, or go silent until friday?

I was always told to make the girl chase you. Obviously after the second date ill be talking to her more. But how should I play this as of now?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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J

JoeMarron

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As long as she's initiating more than you you're good.
 
T

TheException

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As long as she's initiating more than you you're good

This, although in the beginning (first week or two, you may be initiating more).

As far as you wanting to text her, it doesnt matter. I guarantee she will text you before Friday. I personally would just wait. Heres an example of the first two weeks of a timeline with a new HB plate i added:

Sat-Got phone number/kclose
Mon-I send first text. Quick chat about things that happened sat night. Humor, confidence, etc.
Wed-She texted me. I sent 2 texts, conversation over.
Fri-I set plans for Tuesday night.
Mon-She texts me to see if plans on still on. I respond with "yes" and was done with it.
Tues-She texts me about an hour before date and all was good.
Thurs- I texted thurs told her i had fun. Short chat.
Fri- She texted and we made plans for Sunday night.
 
S

SpazzAttackk

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TheException said:
As long as she's initiating more than you you're good

This, although in the beginning (first week or two, you may be initiating more).

As far as you wanting to text her, it doesnt matter. I guarantee she will text you before Friday. I personally would just wait. Heres an example of the first two weeks of a timeline with a new HB plate i added:

Sat-Got phone number/kclose
Mon-I send first text. Quick chat about things that happened sat night. Humor, confidence, etc.
Wed-She texted me. I sent 2 texts, conversation over.
Fri-I set plans for Tuesday night.
Mon-She texts me to see if plans on still on. I respond with "yes" and was done with it.
Tues-She texts me about an hour before date and all was good.
Thurs- I texted thurs told her i had fun. Short chat.
Fri- She texted and we made plans for Sunday night.
Click to expand...
This is pretty much how it went down for me. Friday was good went smoothly overall. Now, should I initiate or just wait for her?
 
T

TheException

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You can text her. Your just trying to avoid coming off as needy, so the "golden ratio" is 2:3 you send two texts for every three she sends. Just really helps you to avoid getting clingy and killing any attraction the girl has for you.

How was friday? How much physical escalation did you do?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

SpazzAttackk

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TheException said:
You can text her. Your just trying to avoid coming off as needy, so the "golden ratio" is 2:3 you send two texts for every three she sends. Just really helps you to avoid getting clingy and killing any attraction the girl has for you.

How was friday? How much physical escalation did you do?
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No sex, but quite a bit of physical escalation. As soon as I walked in she pretty much wrapped her arms around me, so I guess thats a good sign.

She keeps asking if shes difficult though, almost as though shes insecure about a past relationship. Other than that, the synergy is amazing.
 
T

TheException

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No sex, but quite a bit of physical escalation.

Sex should come around date 3 as a baseline. Any longer you run the risk of getting LJBF. Next time you hang out kiss her. Period. Either do it or get rejected for trying to kiss.
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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Texting is ok, but don't freak out if she doesn't answer right away. That's where guys go wrong. Then they follow with a text like Helloo??????? and then you're a clinger, and it's all downhill from there.
 
S

SpazzAttackk

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Bible_Belt said:
Texting is ok, but don't freak out if she doesn't answer right away. That's where guys go wrong. Then they follow with a text like Helloo??????? and then you're a clinger, and it's all downhill from there.
Click to expand...

I know some girls like that. Theyre the worst.

But yeah, Ive given myself an ultimatum. If no sex happens next time (Depending on circumstances) ill go completely radio silent
 
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