Dating freshies from traditional dating cultures

[viking22]

Occasionally I come across attractive women relatively fresh off the boat from more traditional dating cultures e.g. middle east/latin america who never offer to split bills, never initiate texts or overtly show interest while at the same time complaining if they perceive a man of not showing enough interest/attention etc. And generally are high maintenance and demanding.

I find it hard to handle. Even when Western women want more of a provider type or there is an economic imbalance they would at least contribute a little offering to split smaller bills or treating you occasionally for something small like coffee. And they also if they are interested will occasionally initiate texts and make a bit of an effort to stay connected between dates.

Is it best to avoid these kind of women? they do have other qualities e.g. generally not as slutty as western women, more feminine, know how to please a man etc. But the cultural differences especially in terms of expectations make them hard work.

Or is it possible to through having a strong frame make it clear that when in Rome applies and in the West women are expected to contribute and make an effort and while you will occasionaly treat them because you are a generous guy you expect them to split bills most of the time

 

[Serenity]

Maybe I'm a product of my culture here, but I wouldn't bother with a woman if I feel like I give more than I get back. There's no point being with a woman if she costs more than she's worth. What you value and how you measure it is entirely up to the individual though, but my principle should be a good idea for everyone.

The question is whether the value of their "other qualities" is worth the cost of their disadvantages to you, I can't answer that for you.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I've always been pretty spoiled with women.. and had plenty of girls who would pay for stuff or split the bill. When it comes to FWB though or a girl you met casually, sometimes they might test u to see if you are going to pay for it, to see whether you have a romantic interest in them, or you're just hanging out casually as friends. This is because sometimes as guys we might ask a girl to hangout on a certain day but not set any expectations or mention whether its a date.

Having always had it pretty good with women, I can say this: As a man, you should always be in control of the situation.. I can never imagine having to deal with anything I don't want to and I have almost always been able to finesse the situation to go exactly how I want it to. and I never found it hard to tell a woman "ay you want to pay for this and I'll pay for whatever we do next". If you can't manage to do this and not feel weird about it, and if the girl has a problem with it, by all means, you can pay for the food, and say goodbye if it bothers you that much,.

Both men and women want "traditional values" only when it benefits them. and "modern values" when it benefits them. At the end of the day, who cares, its a $60-120. whats the big deal? As a man you should be financially able and capable. Now , if you find that you end up paying for everything and she never spends money on you, that's pretty sh,itty and you should reconsider being with her.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

Expecting an FOB female to automatically immerse herself into modern western dating values is impractical to say the least. If you just landed in Nicaragua or Egypt would you be up to speed on their traditions or dating protocols?

If that's your target (dating FOBs) you might want to bridge the gap and get familiar with where she comes from and the culture. So you can determine if it's a worthwhile endeavor.

 

[devilkingx2]

Occasionally I come across attractive women relatively fresh off the boat from more traditional dating cultures e.g. middle east/latin america who never offer to split bills, never initiate texts or overtly show interest while at the same time complaining if they perceive a man of not showing enough interest/attention etc. And generally are high maintenance and demanding.

I went on a date with an Egyptian tourist. She was rather westernized (Christian, blonde highlights, likes to drink and party) but she offered to split the bill at our expensive bar/restaurant.

The takeaway from that is one of two things:

1. Dating a traditional woman from a conservative culture means old school courting, so expect to spend lots of money and investment.

2. It's an interest level thing, all women are like that, they'll use you if they see beta bucks.

I think it's some combination of both. Because there's plenty of American women that expect free dinners too.

 

[VirtuousD]

Oddly enough i find freshies more likely to initiate texts etc, footing the bill is not something i have an issue with if they are truly traditional.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Expecting an FOB female to automatically immerse herself into modern western dating values is impractical to say the least. If you just landed in Nicaragua or Egypt would you be up to speed on their traditions or dating protocols?

Yes, you would. When in Rome, do as the Romans, as the saying goes. If you went to, say, Saudi Arabia and tried "day gaming" at the mall, you would very quickly and up in jail (or worse). The local sharia judge wouldn't give a flying fvck about your cultural differences. I don't have anything against people maintaining their traditional culture, but when interacting with society at large and people outside of your cultural group, you have to follow local custom.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Both men and women want "traditional values" only when it benefits them. and "modern values" when it benefits them.

Spot on observation. This is why I'm automatically weary of women who claim to profess "traditional values". It's a dishonest and hypocritical ploy. The most traditional housewife will instantly turn into a liberated modern woman when doing so is to her benefit (i.e. taking 50% of your assets in a divorce).