Dating Divorced Women (with no kids)

[Pierce Manhammer]

Enjoy. RN’s…I’ve dated so many I’ve lost count. They can be fun as hell. Usually moderately well educated and fit, smartish and full of energy.

 

[pipeman84]

YouTube personality Wheat Waffles accurately classifies what men want in longer term relationships from women. There are 3 factors: Hot, Young, and Undamaged. Divorced, childless women are not undamaged.

Ask women. In a lot of cases, women prefer divorced men to never married men.

I think a divorce, even a childless one, does damage a man.

That's a nice apparent paradox which is easily explained if we know that what men look for in a woman it's different to what a woman looks for in a man. So as a man I see a divorced woman = damage (bad) while a woman most probably sees a divorced man = experienced, resilient (good).

 

[SW15]

A childless, divorce doesn't do that much damage to the SMV of either a man or a woman.

That's a nice apparent paradox which is easily explained if we know that what men look for in a woman it's different to what a woman looks for in a man. So as a man I see a divorced woman = damage (bad) while a woman most probably sees a divorced man = experienced, resilient (good).

The "woman logic" in evaluating divorced men is complete shiit. It's about 30-50 years outdated. People typically start dating somewhere around 15-18. 20 something divorcees are not common. It's age 30+ when divorcees are a market force. If a 32 year old man is divorced, we know he has a relationship history. However, if a 32 year old man is never married, he likely has just as much dating and relationship history. The 32 year old never married man has been in the mating environment since 16. He's had sex and extended relationship in those 16 years.

A childless, divorced woman is damaged. Damaged is bad per the Wheat Waffles equation. How much more damaged is a 32 year old woman with a childless divorce to her name as compared to a 32 year old never married woman with failed non-marital relationships? Both have about 16 years of dating experience. I still think the childless divorcee is the more damaged option because the whole marriage thing signifies a greater level of commitment.

 

[pipeman84]

A childless, divorced woman is damaged. Damaged is bad per the Wheat Waffles equation. How much more damaged is a 32 year old woman with a childless divorce to her name as compared to a 32 year old never married woman with failed non-marital relationships? Both have about 16 years of dating experience. I still think the childless divorcee is the more damaged option because the whole marriage thing signifies a greater level of commitment.

True in theory, in practice what difference does it really make if they live together for 3 years and then separate ... a piece of paper aka marriage certificate or not, it's still the same. That's where the common law marriage concept comes in, you're living together for more than a year, you're basically married.

So in practice the 32yrs old having had say 4 non-marital failed relationships is actually a 4 time divorcee, let's call a spade a spade. Just because she's been able to date for 16yrs, that doesn't mean she was forced to. So at 32 if she had several failed relationships or is a former CC rider she has a crashed SMV and only AFCs would consider for LTR. If she's neither then she's probably some kind of unicorn (woman with high standards who preferred to remain single than to get into relationships just for the sake of it).

 

[SW15]

True in theory, in practice what difference does it really make if they live together for 3 years and then separate ... a piece of paper aka marriage certificate or not, it's still the same. That's where the common law marriage concept comes in, you're living together for more than a year, you're basically married.

So in practice the 32yrs old having had say 4 non-marital failed relationships is actually a 4 time divorcee, let's call a spade a spade. Just because she's been able to date for 16yrs, that doesn't mean she was forced to. So at 32 if she had several failed relationships or is a former CC rider she has a crashed SMV and only AFCs would consider for LTR.

Is a woman in her 30s who has had extended relationships but never lived in a boyfriend a quasi divorcee or not? It's possible to have a 2-5 year relationship with someone and not move in together and not get married. One of my friends didn't move in with his girlfriend until just after their 5th anniversary of dating.

Mostly every woman who has reached their 30th birthday has a 2 year relationship of some sort to their name.

Most men in their 30s/40s are Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs). These 30s/40s AFC males typically date whatever mediocre to subpar woman close to their own age who is willing to touch their penis regularly. Many of these 30s/40s women are childless, especially now with the Millennial generation reaching ages 35-40.

 

[pipeman84]

Is a woman in her 30s who has had extended relationships but never lived in a boyfriend a quasi divorcee or not? It's possible to have a 2-5 year relationship with someone and not move in together and not get married.

This might be even worse, maybe she's promiscuous and sees several guys at once, ie has FwBs, or just some mediocre person who doesn't really know what she wants or she isn't a relationship oriented woman.

 

[SW15]

This might be even worse, maybe she's promiscuous and sees several guys at once, ie has FwBs, or just some mediocre person who doesn't really know what she wants or she isn't a relationship oriented woman.

In running through these scenarios, it becomes evident that mostly every scenario that involve a woman single past her 30th birthday shows damage. I'll run through scenarios with bullet points of least damaged to most damaged

• 30+, never married, childless, 1 or more relationships lasting 2+ years without ever living with a boyfriend = mildly damaged
• 30+, never married, childless, 1 or more relationships lasting 2+ years but did live with at least 1 boyfriend = borderline mildly/moderately damaged depending on situation

Both of those women above are likely to have had some casual sex, same night lays, and FwBs in their histories, along with failed, exclusive relationships under 2 years.

• 30+, married and divorced, childless = moderately damaged
• 30+, married and divorced, single mom = highly damaged
• 30+, never married, single mom. This is rated worst due to potential of 2 children, 2 different fathers scenario. = highly damaged

For me, as a childless man, I can handle the first 3 bullet points but not the second 2. My relationship history is more serial monogamist though. Marriage and babies are a bad idea with all 5 women scenarios.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Sounded like ex husband was a bit of a deadbeat, and spent a lot of time out drinking with his boys and hanging out with other women. Apparently she paid all the living expenses so he could pay off his student loans quicker, and he sat around drinking and playing video games. Also sounds like he did a whole bunch of AFC crap after they split.

I don't believe this for a second and neither should you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

she basically told me the whole story, why I do not know, but I find that women seem to like to do this kind of thing unprovoked.

Sounded like ex husband was a bit of a deadbeat, and spent a lot of time out drinking with his boys and hanging out with other women. Apparently she paid all the living expenses so he could pay off his student loans quicker, and he sat around drinking and playing video games. Also sounds like he did a whole bunch of AFC crap after they split.

She just told you the type of man she ACTUALLY WANTS.

She will claim she doesn't like that, hates it, etc but at the end of the day she liked it because it gave her more control...

I am not saying don't date her, I am just saying don't be surprised when she ends up with a dude just like her ex because she sees you as having "something wrong" since that's what she is used to.