"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dating and kids

1utfan1

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Hey DJ's,
Been with my girl for a year. She has a little girl (3 years old). Her dad is a goofball, she's a little bratty (especially around the grandparents) but I like being with both of them. I guess I just need some advice on dealing with a women with a child. Any pointers?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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dietzcoi

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I personally would not do it, so I cannot give you any pointers. Just be sure what you are doing. The woman wants a replacement father for the kid. It will dominate all your interactions. Hope you know what you are doing.

DIetzcoi
 

WaterTiger

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I'd also be VERY careful about making friends with the little girl. There has been cases where the stepfather/boyfriend has become a psudo-father to the child. Hense, in the eyes of the law YOU are the only father she's ever know and she is bonded to YOU. This means they can make you come back for visitations even if you and Mom break up...for the best interest of the child.



P.S. All three year olds are bratty...it's just the nature of the beast. :rolleyes:
 

1utfan1

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Originally posted by WaterTiger
I'd also be VERY careful about making friends with the little girl. There has been cases where the stepfather/boyfriend has become a psudo-father to the child. Hense, in the eyes of the law YOU are the only father she's ever know and she is bonded to YOU. This means they can make you come back for visitations even if you and Mom break up...for the best interest of the child.



P.S. All three year olds are bratty...it's just the nature of the beast. :rolleyes:
Sorry, my original post was a little unclear. The girls father is active (not as much as he should be) in her life. He see's her twice a week. I just was looking for some pointers on how to deal with the various BS one goes through when dating someone with kids. Thanks for your replies.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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disciple

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Like my father once told me: Don't date a woman with kids unless the baby daddy is no longer in the picture. There are too many complications that can arise when the child's father is an active part of the picture. A lot of these guys still feel like that's their territory even though they're not with the woman anymore. I've dated woman with kids so I speak from experience. Try to avoid the ready-made-families. The reality though is that there are more single moms than ever before and with many women choosing to raise kids as a single parent and the high divorce rate creating newly single mothers everyday, sometimes it may be hard to find one who doesn't have a kid (especially if they're in the 30-40 age range). That being said, I would try to stick to dealing with one child and not a pack of them but only if the baby daddy is not an active part of the picture.
 

dietzcoi

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Not to mention, that there must be some issues, or why would she be a single mother? Yes the father may be 100% the problem but I doubt it very much. Therefore this single mother has some problems or faults of her own. Of course all women have something wrong, but still... watch it. I personally want no part of it, ever again. I did do it once, and the drama was too intense.

Think about it... you are just asking for more chains to be added to your legs... you should be freeing yourself from chains, not adding chains (drama)

Dietzcoi
 
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