Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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dating and kids

1utfan1

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Hey DJ's,
Been with my girl for a year. She has a little girl (3 years old). Her dad is a goofball, she's a little bratty (especially around the grandparents) but I like being with both of them. I guess I just need some advice on dealing with a women with a child. Any pointers?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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dietzcoi

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I personally would not do it, so I cannot give you any pointers. Just be sure what you are doing. The woman wants a replacement father for the kid. It will dominate all your interactions. Hope you know what you are doing.

DIetzcoi
 

WaterTiger

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I'd also be VERY careful about making friends with the little girl. There has been cases where the stepfather/boyfriend has become a psudo-father to the child. Hense, in the eyes of the law YOU are the only father she's ever know and she is bonded to YOU. This means they can make you come back for visitations even if you and Mom break up...for the best interest of the child.



P.S. All three year olds are bratty...it's just the nature of the beast. :rolleyes:
 

1utfan1

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Originally posted by WaterTiger
I'd also be VERY careful about making friends with the little girl. There has been cases where the stepfather/boyfriend has become a psudo-father to the child. Hense, in the eyes of the law YOU are the only father she's ever know and she is bonded to YOU. This means they can make you come back for visitations even if you and Mom break up...for the best interest of the child.



P.S. All three year olds are bratty...it's just the nature of the beast. :rolleyes:
Sorry, my original post was a little unclear. The girls father is active (not as much as he should be) in her life. He see's her twice a week. I just was looking for some pointers on how to deal with the various BS one goes through when dating someone with kids. Thanks for your replies.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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disciple

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Like my father once told me: Don't date a woman with kids unless the baby daddy is no longer in the picture. There are too many complications that can arise when the child's father is an active part of the picture. A lot of these guys still feel like that's their territory even though they're not with the woman anymore. I've dated woman with kids so I speak from experience. Try to avoid the ready-made-families. The reality though is that there are more single moms than ever before and with many women choosing to raise kids as a single parent and the high divorce rate creating newly single mothers everyday, sometimes it may be hard to find one who doesn't have a kid (especially if they're in the 30-40 age range). That being said, I would try to stick to dealing with one child and not a pack of them but only if the baby daddy is not an active part of the picture.
 

dietzcoi

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Not to mention, that there must be some issues, or why would she be a single mother? Yes the father may be 100% the problem but I doubt it very much. Therefore this single mother has some problems or faults of her own. Of course all women have something wrong, but still... watch it. I personally want no part of it, ever again. I did do it once, and the drama was too intense.

Think about it... you are just asking for more chains to be added to your legs... you should be freeing yourself from chains, not adding chains (drama)

Dietzcoi
 
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