dating advice for a ginger guy

[MattTheW]

Girl who worked in the same company as me, she was absolutely stunning.
All the blokes drooling over her.
She starts dating this ginger guy in work, he was quite sporty and adventurous so you might think that that was the reason why
But looking at her dating history she seemed to prefer the gingers, no matter what body type etc

Don't let your hair colour put you off, you are what you are, embrace it, own it

I've got dark hair, but a ginger beard if I grow it (I blame that on my mother's irish heritage)

Confidence in yourself will get you women

 

[sambwoy]

Recently I have been at the real end of depression, having to seek
help.

My parents are distraught by my self-abusing, because I cannot process what is going on (with many issues in fact) and have no place to vent it. Reading more about double standards on the internet of how women treat men and sexualizing them, yet we can't do it to them anymore, not that anyone should (over a certain point anyway). It atrocious what they get away with.

Do they have some sick sense of humour or something? When I was a bit younger I had been on forums and got nothing but BS from female posters about 'be who you really are...a unique special person' and
'we work hard to make you want us, so repay the favour'. I dunno. Why then don't you see two guys fighting over black work shoes, for instance?

I had the most crippling feeling this morning.
I have no idea of the impact of my attitude these days on people when they see me on the street.

Because by the logic of some girls, you are pigeon-holed into one kind of lifestyle according to your looks ALL BECAUSE they don't want to fukk you. And I don't even want to get fukks. Looks are important for social status, too. I think the woman 'who will accept you, flaws and all' doesn't exist.

 

[sambwoy]

Accept it, love it, openly poke fun at it or your whole aura and vibe will never get a chance.

Is this like the obese-guy-poking-fun-at-himself kind of thing? It might get to the point of pathetic and sad.
But then again, with the way people are in society, and what a lot of women are like, he's doing it to soften the blow before someone cuts in with a comment or put-down.

 

[mangotot]

If its a problem dye your hair.

 

[Stugots26]

I'm ginger and proud of it. It's never stood in my way.

Gingers are decreasing in numbers, so you're more unique.

If it ever comes up in conversation on a date, I usually say something like, "And yes, I know what you're wondering...the carpet DOES in fact match the drapes."

Always gets a laugh and makes the seduction that much easier.

 

[jimmy18]

Looks at RSD Tyler's youtube videos

 

[sambwoy]

I really don't know what to do. I've met discrimination for being aspergers and I also have pectus excavatum. Its all very well to say to yourself embrace your uniqueness, What do I do? Not go out?

When you dig deeper, women aren't everything. But still, it has affected my life decisions.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

if i can make a recommendation, i would say to seek professional help, it can really do wonders helping you deal with the things you cant change and changing the things you can

 

[mangotot]

Take inspiration from the guy below.

http://www.wavefm.com.au/hot-breakf...-did-one-direction-inspire-ed-sheeran-s-don-t

 

[sambwoy]

If its a problem dye your hair.

I was for a while. I was using a brown mousse. But you know...family...saying I shouldn't. :crazy:

But I know that's not what the girls at college were thinking, and some days
I didn't even feel like wanting to go out my front door.
I just wanted to say this. It feels, a lot of the time, physically painful to feel like women don't want to even touch you. As has been said on this site many times before, many women are particularly good at reminding guys when they aren't good enough/don't want to fukk them.

 

[sambwoy]

Joel Osteen . you need to deal with the depression issue first. You are complaining about hypothetical rejecrion scenarios that you have not even experienced, that you read about on the internet, that is a sign of delusion

I will elaborate here on my feelings.
I was for a while stuck between two evils. Hot people get a free pass in life, and my college tutors and elders were all 'study, study, study' and 'get a job'. Who needs that when your hot, right? Who do you turn to?

 

[sambwoy]

There's so many things such as attraction rules etc that hit too much of a nerve with me. It sucks so much to have such a bleak outlook on life unlike everyone else. To be made to feel 'different' by girls making sh***y comments like they used to. Just wanted to say that.

 

[mangotot]

You should go and see some videos of some dude called Tyler Durden.

 

[JoshSway]

I can understand women not liking balding. But I can't for the life of me understand why a red head guy with full hair would be a turn off.

It's shocking, but when I was doing research for my ebook on online dating in the "hair color preference" section on match .. while most girls had no preference (80+%), of those that had a preference, 25% explicitly included bald which was actually inline if not MORE than the % who explicitly included red!

Very weird..but makes me feel good that even though I'm bald it may not be the worst hair situation out there

 

[sambwoy]

Joel Osteen . you need to deal with the depression issue first. You are complaining about hypothetical rejecrion scenarios that you have not even experienced, that you read about on the internet, that is a sign of delusion

I dunno. I went to bed last night at what I thought might be the lowest point of depression and loneliness. This longing and wondering whether a woman would ever find me attractive, or whether I would be lonely and/or settle. It has affected my life decisions and outlook. Just thought I'd put that.

Seems to be the only time you know you have potential with HBs is when they/their cliques pick you and want to flaunt you. Otherwise you're **invisible**.

 

[sambwoy]

Joel Osteen . you need to deal with the depression issue first. You are complaining about hypothetical rejecrion scenarios that you have not even experienced, that you read about on the internet, that is a sign of delusion

I have somewhat been dependent on female approval, because of years of isolation and bullying. I have lost engagement with people and my body image is distorted and my outlook on my personal life forsees depression.

Your mother doesn't think the way, say, the chicks at college do. If you complain about your looks, they just play on your insecurities without a care.

 

[sambwoy]

I'm ginger and proud of it. It's never stood in my way.

Gingers are decreasing in numbers, so you're more unique.

If it ever comes up in conversation on a date, I usually say something like, "And yes, I know what you're wondering...the carpet DOES in fact match the drapes."

Always gets a laugh and makes the seduction that much easier.

Good for you doing well. Still, it kind of sucks for me to experience pre-rejection fears- the fear of being immediately bypassed for the better looking guy. Still, could still beat staying indoors bored all the time.

I am a bit stuck at the moment, parents saying I shouldn't dye it etc etc. Perhaps they see something in me that I don't see if my experiences are an indication.

 

[Mike32ct]

I wonder if "ginger" is UK slang. Honestly, I've never heard it in the US and never knew about it until I read it on SS.

We just say "redhead." We don't really have a derogatory term for such people.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I dunno. I went to bed last night at what I thought might be the lowest point of depression and loneliness. This longing and wondering whether a woman would ever find me attractive, or whether I would be lonely and/or settle. It has affected my life decisions and outlook. Just thought I'd put that.

Seems to be the only time you know you have potential with HBs is when they/their cliques pick you and want to flaunt you. Otherwise you're **invisible**.

Hey yo. Your mindset makes you about 1/2 as attractive as you are.

I would go out and get my d1ck wet one way or another. Pick a lady that has issues finding a man and have sexual relations. This will boost your esteem and swagger.

Work on your body and dress to impress.

On the cliquey girls, like you say, the group has to like you for you to have a shot with any of them. If you aren't in their circle it can be really tough unless you have something standing out over the rest of men.

Another man on this same BBS said he stopped messing with these types all together, that it is beta, to basically let them make all the decisions...

So stop thinking like that, go get some *****, some legal aged ***** any *****, and start dressing better and get into shape. That will be more than 1/2 of your battle.

Get involved socially in some things of interest or things you are good at.

 

[sambwoy]

All I know is that if an attractive female and/or her clique showed interest I wouldn't take it for granted. Because I have 'learned' to expect less, because in my youth I experienced ostracism unlike these others who get social praise and the 'halo effect'. This is just how I feel.

If I am insulted by an attractive (by society's standards) female it seems to affect me more. I have no idea why.